Enjoying Life 101

Friday January 14th, 2011 - Cary, IL

   Sometimes it’s fun to just hang out and do nothing. This is one of those times. I’ve got all kinds of plots and schemes heating in the oven, and that’s exciting, but for a few days I’ve got the chance to visit friends and enjoy life. To me, that’s as enjoyable as anything.

   I’ve got a few bucks in the bank, my bills are paid, and my time schedule is flexible for the next little while. I hit it pretty hard on the ships the past few months so this is the time to relax a little. I earned it, and I love every last minute of it. It’s like a mini retirement.

   It’s a good thing I’m boring and have low standards. Simple things please me, and I can be thoroughly satisfied with not all that much. For example, I’m enjoying my ‘83 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham just as much as if it were an expensive show car. No kidding. It’s a big tub, but it runs great and it’s fun to drive. It sucks gas, but it’s paid for. I’m loving it.

   Today I used it to visit friends. First I met with a former comedy student named Cathy Rubino. She’s loaded with talent, but not necessarily as a standup. She’s more of a writer, but she‘s on the ball. Her mind is razor sharp, and she doesn’t realize how good she is.

   Cathy has the talent to be great, but that’s not always a guarantee it will happen. She has a husband and five year old daughter, and life often has other plans. It’s hard enough to be out in the clubs every night clawing for stage time without having to keep a family going.

   There are a lot of people in that position, and I feel for them. At least I had a shot to get out there and live my dream guilt free. I made the decision to go for it at a young age, and I never looked back. Sometimes I wonder if I made the correct choice, but I’m sure I did.

  Cathy is a total sweetheart, and the main thing I can do is encourage her to keep writing. Being a mom is much more demanding than comedy, and she can come back to it later if she really wants to. There are many outlets for creativity. The main thing is to pick one.

   After that I had lunch with Marc Schultz and Tim Walkoe. Tim is one of the top comics in Chicago, and he’s got to keep hustling just like I do. He does some cruise ships and has similar stories to mine. It’s not an easy gig, but neither is comedy. This is what we chose.

   Jerry Agar came back from Toronto and I picked him up at the airport in the afternoon. He’s got his own mammoth task trying to work in Canada and live in Chicago. We talked about how hard it is, but he doesn’t have a choice. That’s where the work is, deal with it.

   Jerry and his wife Ann and I went out for a wonderful dinner at a steak house out in the suburbs near their house. It was really nice to relax and chow down and visit. We’ve been friends for over twenty years, and know each other’s history. Old friends are the dearest.

   Normally, being off on a weekend would really bother me. Not today. I got to enjoy the friendship of outstanding people, and enjoy life to the fullest. If that isn’t living, what is?

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Tigers And Turtles

Thursday January 13th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL

   I was so disturbed by that Vince McMahon DVD I watched yesterday, I had to watch it again. I wanted to see if it had the same affect. The guy is brilliant, I’ll give him that. He’s got a lot of amazing accomplishments under his belt, but I think there’s a screw loose as a person. I don’t get a warm and fuzzy feeling watching him, but he’s still quite fascinating.

   I love creativity and innovative minds, and he’s definitely that. He changed the game so much it isn’t the same one anymore. I also love the idea of being an entrepreneur, and his skills there are also off the charts. He’s rich beyond belief, but I don’t want to be like him.

   Does that mean I’ll never be rich? Maybe it does. Maybe I don’t have that killer instinct needed in business and I’m wasting my time. There was a quote of his that said “If you’ve got any friends, it means you’re not making any money.” Does life have to be like that?

   It’s really ripping me up. I’ve always thought I wanted to be rich, and I still do - but I’m not willing to turn into a flaming wank pole to do it. I want to be ethical and above board, and not have to screw anyone over to do it. Then the more I think about it, am I realistic?

   I know there is a contingency of people that no matter how hard I try, still look at me as the flaming wank pole I try to hard not to be. I do speak my mind, but deep down I try my hardest to be a good person and respect other people’s needs, rights and space. I’m a firm believer in The Golden Rule, and try my hardest to live by it every day. I feel for others.

   It seems like that’s not necessary in business. It’s everyone for themselves, and so what if someone else gets hurt. I don’t want to be part of that, and that’s part of why I’m not as far along in the game as I think I should be. Nice guys get screwed, and that bothers me.

   So where’s the happy medium? I don’t believe all rich people are evil, and everyone has different circumstances. Vince McMahon was born into the business he’s in, but he had a vision to revolutionize it and he did. It came at the expense of his competitors, who were all getting along and making a living. That wasn’t good enough, and Vince wanted more.

   Maybe it’s the difference between a tiger and a turtle. A tiger has a killer instinct and it prowls the jungle and kills because it’s programmed to do so. It couldn’t stop if it wanted to. A turtle is exactly the opposite. It couldn’t be a predator if it wanted to. That’s life.

   Everyone gets pumped up when the song ‘Eye of The Tiger’ comes on. I think I’ve been born with the ‘Eye of The Turtle’. No matter how big my vision may be to be a bad ass in life, all I’ll ever be is the best turtle I can be. It sure seems like that sometimes, and it rots.

   I do still want to be an entrepreneur though, and hopefully find a niche market and haul in some nice money. Maybe it won’t be a billion dollars, but whatever I do make I’ll help as many others as I can. They don’t even have to know it came from me. That’s what the true definition of success is, at least to me. I hope I’m not wasting my time on this planet.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

1/11/11

Tuesday January 11th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL

   Another milestone date on the cosmic odometer - 1/11/11. There have been all kinds of them in the last decade with the new millennium and all, and they won’t come back again for at least 100 years. I’ll be long dead by then, so this is the only time I’ll get to see it.

   This one is significant because for years I’ve always noticed an uncanny preponderance to look at clocks at exactly 11:11 or 1:11, or look at a car’s odometer right when it turns a form of 11,111 miles. It’s very noticeable, and I wondered why I was doing it so I looked it up on the internet and found there’s a whole bunch of theories for why it’s happening.

   11 is a power number in numerology, but there are various explanations from a spiritual to paranormal scope that say it’s a warning from another dimension. I don’t know if I can go that far, but I do know I’ve had it happen quite often in the last few years and it’s been something I didn’t do on purpose. The next one in November will be bigger - 11/11/11.

   Stuff like this always gets me thinking about the whole meaning of life and why we’re here on this goofy little spinning space marble anyway. There has to be some meaning to something somewhere, doesn’t there? I hope so. I’d hate to think life is a random chance.

   Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. My gut feeling is it isn’t, but why don’t we know more? The whole idea of God, heaven and hell used to be good enough, but that doesn’t fly anymore, at least with me. I believed in Santa at one time too, and no matter how sincere I was, it’s still a made up lie. Unfortunately, I feel the same way about God after years of believing.

   But what’s the real truth? It’s scary to think there isn’t that all loving powerful God out there who sees us eat our vegetables and share our toys as a kid, and then opens the gates of heaven when we’re dead so we can play a harp and wear a white robe forever and ever.

   That might have been a good way to fool the masses for hundreds of years now, but life is a lot more complex today. That explanation falls flat on my ears. The universe is so big and vast, it doesn’t seem like anything is really important unto itself, especially humanity.

   We’re imperfect, and getting worse. We fight and kill each other and pollute a perfectly good planet which gave us all we need to live a wonderful life. It’s like we’re treating this place like a Motel 6 room, and if there was a God he’d have kicked us all out eons ago.

   But, that being said a large percentage of us have an inner need to have some kind of an entity to worship as being more powerful than ourselves, and we’ll even go to war killing others to defend the honor of that invisible being. My brain overheats thinking about this.

   Does this date mean anything? I have no idea. Does 11:11 mean anything? Are spiritual messages coming from another dimension, or do I happen to look at the clock at the right time just by accident over and over? Both of those ideas seem far fetched, but I do think a true explanation exists that for whatever reason we’re not getting to see. I’m very curious.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Flexing My Hustle Muscles

Monday January 10th, 2011 - Kenosha, WI/Milwaukee, WI

   Time is going by so fast I can’t keep up. I finally started on my 2011 agenda, if only ten days too late. Granted, I was on a ship for six of them, but it still feels like I’m losing my ability to keep pace with life. The world is in fifth gear, but my clutch keeps burning out.

   Today I had a holiday party up in Milwaukee booked so I wanted to run errands all the way up and back if I could to make my trip worthwhile. Now that I’m driving that big old tuna boat Cadillac, gas mileage becomes an issue. I thought of that when I bought it, and that’s part of the reason why I bought it. I wanted to stay put a little more and get focused.

   Maybe that was a mistake. With the ‘Schlitz Happened!’ show in South Milwaukee just over two weeks out, I’ve got plenty to do to prepare. I’ll be fine onstage, but dealing with the off stage stuff I’m not good at is a challenge. I need to get good at it, or find someone who is who’s willing to work with me. This is all part of the fun of starting a new project.

   Russ Martin has been a help, as has Richard Halasz. I met with both of them in separate places to brain storm ideas. Dan Still was with Russ and me as we bounced ideas off each other. That’s a whole other project, as Dan and Don Reese and Dwight York are trying to get a tour organized and I might promote it. That’s down the road though, first stuff first.

   I stopped in Antioch, IL on the way to pick up my load of ‘Schlitz Happened!’ t-shirts. They look splendiferous if I say so myself, and I gave one to Dan, Russ, Richard and then I stopped off in Bay View before my gig and dropped some off for the WTMJ radio crew.

   They were broadcasting live from a sports bar right across the street from a comic book shop that my cousin Jef Parker used to own called Collector’s Edge. The on air guest was a friend of mine named Mike Clemens, and I haven’t seen Mike in years. He’s a great guy who I’ve known from radio days and now works for Sirius Radio analyzing the Packers.

   I dropped off a ‘Hard Luck Jollies’ comedy CD and ‘Schlitz Happened!’ shirt for Mike and the hosts Bill Michaels and Jeff Falconio too. I listen to those guys, and got a chance to shake hands and say hello in person. That never hurts. Maybe they’ll toss them out but maybe they won’t. I had to roll the dice, and even though it costs me money I need to try.

   Life really is about who a person knows. Steve DeClark has always been in my corner and he’s the one who recommended me for this holiday party. Steve and his wife Gail are fantastic people and have thought of me for many things over the years. I had to get Steve a shirt too, only out of gratitude for everything he’s done for me. It’s a two way street.

   The show went well, as did the meetings. But it takes a lot of effort to meet with people because it just does. We have to plan it and prepare for it and decide what if anything we might do after it’s over and before I knew it another day was down the drain pipe. I can’t go any faster, so I guess I’ll just have to do what I’m doing and see where it leads. I feel a positive vibe from the show though. Everyone I gave t-shirts too thought they were great. 

   Now I have to SELL some. I know I’ll give a lot away too though. I have a lot of friends who have supported me over the years, and a t-shirt goes a long way in saying thanks. It’s a currency of it’s own, and without fail people’s eyes always light up when they get a free one for some reason. Everyone I gave one to today had the same wow look on their face.

   On the way up to Milwaukee I had lunch with Mark Gumbinger and Lou Rugani at the Chinese Buffet on Highway 50 in Kenosha. Mark is a film director and working on more projects and wants Lou and I to have parts in them. We had a fun lunch, and will meet up again tomorrow at Mark’s house for more brainstorming and then watch a classic movie.

   That’s another group I’m becoming part of, and I like it. Everyone in it is fun, and they are out slugging and chasing dreams just like me. Mark is a talented director, and knows what he’s doing. Lou is a multitalented actor, narrator and just a good person, as is Mark. I’d rather have that vibe in Kenosha than have to chase the slime traders in Hollywood.

   Granted, everyone in Hollywood isn’t bad, but that whole scene is very dysfunctional to say the least. There’s a lot of cocaine and falseness, and I just don’t want to be part of that game, especially this late in my own journey. Here, I can be part of the gang and get parts in everything Mark produces. It’s a fun atmosphere and creatively satisfying. I’ll take it.

   On the way home tonight I got a call from my old friend Brian Diamond. Brian and I go back over twenty years, and he was a road warrior just like me. He’s from Sacramento but moved to L.A. years ago to chase the dream. He’s more of an actor, but that’s fine. He’s a great guy and VERY smart. He gets the off stage big picture better than almost everyone.

   We get along great, and have kept in touch all these years even though it gets tougher to do with life getting in the way. He’s a year younger than me, but in the same category that we’re all becoming - OLD. Brian has always had a grip on where he was, and I got a great lesson from him as I sat back and let him talk for almost an hour straight. He was on fire.

   What he basically said was guys like us are running out of time as far as the ‘big dream’ goes. Brian has gotten off the road and now works for the state of California in his home town of Sacramento making presentations to government people. He has insurance and a pension plan, and still gets to do comedy and act from time to time as fun. He’s a success.

   He’s done one man shows and gave me some great insight on ‘Schlitz Happened’ as far as how to sell it correctly. Brian is like me in that he cuts right through any B.S. and isn’t one to sugar coat anything. He said we’re both never going to make the big time, so now we have to form some kind of happy ending with what we have. He’s right, and I know it.

   It doesn’t mean we’re losers in life, and it doesn’t mean that big time people are good or bad or happy or anything but that it’s SO rare to break through the walls of Hollywood or wherever one needs to be broken through. He had so many good points, I can’t remember them all. I told him I’m going to record it for my students, and for me too, and I will. He’s dead on, and realistic. Hollywood pressure off for now. I’m working hard in Milwaukee.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Packerholic Pleasure

Sunday January 9th, 2011 - Wauconda, IL/Kenosha, WI

   I’m not sure how today could have gone much better. Of course it all begins and ends in three magic words - Green Bay Packers. My hopeless addiction to the green and gold was given a major fix today with a sweet win over the Philadelphia Eagles in a playoff game.

   I’m on a good high, and when it’s like this nothing is better. I don’t want to think about the dark side, because there definitely is one when they lose. I know none of this is going to get me anywhere, but I can’t help it. I’m in heaven when the Packers win, and they did.

  My intention was to not even watch the game. I’m in a very good mindset right now, and having three hours of uncut stress is the last thing I need. Watching games this big have a way of tying stomachs in a knot, and I didn’t want that today. I arranged a visit with Bert Haas from Zanies and his wife Sally and their daughter Christine. I’d hear the score later.

   Bert and Sally have always been great friends. They’ve invited me into their home like a family member countless times for holiday meals and special events. I’ve known all of their kids since birth, and they’re all wonderful. Christine is now in college and I feel old.

   Bert has been inviting me over for dinner for a while, and today was the day. He asked if I wanted to watch the game, but I told him no. It was too much pressure to watch it and have a puckered brown eye on his couch. I’d much rather catch up and visit with all three of them, and that’s what we did. It was low pressure and we had a lot of laughs. I loved it.

  We decided to go to a restaurant for dinner, and ended up at a place they knew of in their new city of Wauconda, IL. It was a very nice place, even though I can’t think of the name right now. We drove over and got seated - right next to a big screen TV with the game on.

   I tried to enjoy dinner, but it was like Keith Richards being asked to hold a bag of drugs and not sampling any. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the TV and it was torture as the Eagles started to catch up. Our waitress was a Packer fan,  but everyone else was a Bears fan and saw my flaming yellow Packer jacket and knew I was the enemy. It was a tense situation.

  They started cheering for the Eagles and the waitress and I cheered for our Packers. Our meal was absolutely delicious, and we did get some time to visit even though I got lost in the game for a while. I’m a Packerholic and I freely admit it. I’m totally hooked for life.

   On the way from the restaurant to the WLIP radio studio in Kenosha, I almost drove off the road listening to the end of the game. It was extremely tense, and the Eagles could’ve easily won the game in the last second and ruined my evening, week, month and century.

   But alas, Tramon Williams intercepted Michael Vick’s pass and that was all she wrote. I let out a war whoop in my car, and I knew it was going to be a splendiferous evening no matter the outcome of the radio show. When the Packers win, all is right with the world. When they don’t, life is not worth living. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but it’s sadly true.

   The possibility does exist right now that the Packers and despised scum sucking maggot infested Chicago Bears could actually meet for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. That’s a delicate situation, especially since I live in Illinois and have a ton of Bears fan friends.

   These kinds of things can get very personal, and I don’t want to set off a powder keg. IF it should happen, I’ll keep it to myself. I’ll drive up to Wisconsin and hang out with all of my Packer fan friends, and enjoy the moment. That’s one game I would watch, as it won’t in all likelihood ever happen again. It would be like one of those rare full solar eclipses.

   I wonder where Brett Favre is in all of this. He turned out to be the bad guy, and he isn’t even on a Packer fan’s radar right now. Aaron Rodgers is the man, and he played a really good game today, as did the rest of the team. It was good to see them getting it together.

  Whatever the NFL has, it’s addictive. Sports in general is a drug, especially when a team one cheers for is anywhere near a championship, but football is the most intense - at least it is for me. Me and millions of Packer fans all over the world. It’s exciting right now.

   I still feel like I got cheated out of the last big run in the ‘90s because of my bank robber nightmare. I was being flown back to Milwaukee from Reno by the government to testify in court against my life long best friend, and the Packers seemed so far away at the time.

  When I got off the plane, I remember seeing green and gold everywhere. I’d dreamed for a time like that since I was a kid, and when I got it I couldn’t even enjoy it. I’m still upset about it, but there’s not much I can do now. If they go to the Super Bowl this year, I have to consider going to see it live. I missed the last one, and I may not get another chance.

  I’ll worry about that later. They have two more games to win before that happens. I like the way my life is going now, and throwing all that stress in the mix doesn’t interest me at all. I’d rather focus on all the good things that are happening. That’s where my future is.

   Tonight it was back to WLIP in Kenosha, WI for a ride on The Mothership Connection radio show. We had some great guests tonight including Richard Crowe, a famous guy in Chicago who runs haunted tours. He’s been on the phone before, but it was fun to get him in the studio live. The show is very fun, and I was glad to be able to come back and do it.

  My co-hosts Shelley Maas Hernandez and Greg DeGuire have been dong an outstanding job in my absence, and we’d be off the air if it weren’t for everyone kicking it up a notch. Diane Ebert and Gary Pansch have been great, as has Scott Markus and everyone else on the show. They have a fun time doing it when I’m gone, and it’s all worked out perfectly.

  Personally, I don’t really have to do it anymore. It’s fun to hang out, but to put in effort to prepare takes time and energy, and I’ve got other stuff going on. Shelley and Greg are the main people in charge, and they’re doing great. I’m thrilled the show could continue. If I hadn’t showed up tonight, they would have been fine without me and that’s great in my book. I helped it get started, and it’s stll alive. Like the Packers, that makes me proud.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Classic Cars And Cowboys

Saturday January 8th, 2010 - Fox Lake, IL

   Another day to just hang out and relax. I need a few days off to recharge my batteries to make a run at everything I’ve got going. Normally, I would have tried to book something for this weekend to have something to do. It would have been off the plane and right back into the car to drive to a gig somewhere, but after a lifetime of doing that I’ve had my fill.

   If it was a big show in a big venue for big money, I might consider it. Maybe even those get old after a while. Today is Elvis’s birthday. I wonder if he ever got sick of it all on his level? He flew to gigs that were in sold out arenas, but he got to fly home the same night and sleep in his own bed. Maybe that made it different, but I’d think the road is the road.

  Personally, I’m sick of it. At least for now. The ships are extra difficult because I have a lot more deadlines to hit with flights and consequences should I miss even one. In clubs, I drive there and that can be a challenge enough. Having to catch planes and boats is worse.

   It’s a grind, and there’s no other way to put it. Right now, having a gig where I could be home every day would be very desirable. That’s why I like the ‘Schlitz Happened!’ idea so much. If I do it right, I can have at least one weekend a month that’s an hour from my house where I can make a decent living and not have to be molested by airport security.

   It’s funny, as the exact opposite feeling was what drove me to leave Milwaukee back at the start of all this. I wanted to be on the road and see as many places as I could. I did, but now I have the exact opposite desire. I want to earn a living as close to home as possible.

   I turned that part of my brain off today and went to see ‘True Grit’. I’ve heard all kinds of positive reviews, and I’ve always been a big fan of Jeff Bridges. Any movie he’s in I’ll risk a ticket, and I can’t remember being disappointed very often. The guy has a charisma.

   I thought there were a few holes in the plot, but I really liked the characters in the film. I also like the Coen Brothers, and didn’t know they directed it. I probably should have, but my knowledge of pop culture and show biz is severely lacking these days. I just wanted to be entertained by a movie, and I totally was. All the characters fit in well with each other.

  Now I want to see the original with John Wayne. I know I saw it years ago, but I have no idea when or where. I’d probably enjoy it all over again. I’ve been so busy in my own life trying to chase whatever it is I’ve been chasing, I’ve neglected watching a lot of classics.

  Speaking of classics, I also went to the Volo Auto Museum in Volo, IL. I live as close as I ever have, and I’ve been wanting to go for a while now. It’s a museum, but also has cars for sale. There’s an original George Barris Batmobile, and to me that’s worth a trip alone.

   All I did was hang out and enjoy life. I loved the movie, and then went to look at all the classic cars I used to want to own, but now am fine with just looking at in a museum. I’m getting simpler as I get older, and I think it’s good. I’ll stay low maintenance, it’s easier.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

Weeding Out The Weenies

Friday January 7th, 2011 - Fox Lake, IL

   I guess I was plum tuckered out after all. I woke up at 1:45pm, but felt totally refreshed. I don’t really have ‘my own bed’ to sleep in now that I’ve moved, but it felt great anyway. I’m still nowhere near settled in, and my stuff is either in piles, boxes or in a storage bin.

  I’m basically starting my life over again, something I’ve done countless times before. In a perfect world, I’d have a wife and kids and house that’s paid for, and residual checks for projects I did years ago that are still paying off with royalties today. I’d be getting ready to be a grandfather soon, and start thinking of retirement with pleasant anticipation. Right.

  Instead, I’m still living like a spider in a basement a quarter century into my pursuit of a very difficult dream. I’m partially here because I choose to be, but part of that comes from a fear of making a commitment to a lease or a woman or anything else that involves trust.

   Things could be a lot worse, but they could be a lot better too. I’m right on the precipice of something new and different, and I want to make sure I really nail it this time and have a chance to salvage a winning life. Happy endings aren’t guaranteed, but if I’m the one in charge that’s writing the script - this life is going to have one. I want to be an inspiration.

   Nobody is inspired by the loser, or the one who gave up before hitting pay dirt. I have a little kick left, and I can tell this is my big chance in the next couple of years. After that, it will be a race against time for survival. It is now, but I think I have a chance at winning.

   Today I did a whole lot of nothing, but that’s what I planned. I went to pick up my mail and deposit a couple of checks, then I went to hang out with my friend Todd Hunt. He’s a business speaker, and one of the best around. His marketing plan is THE best I’ve seen.

   I always learn something from Todd. He hustles to get his work, and earns every single penny he gets paid. There’s no ‘circuit’ for speakers, and each booking is gotten by either word of mouth or self inquiry. It’s very difficult, but Todd has kept plugging for years. If you need a business speaker, contact Todd via his website at www.toddhuntspeaker.com.

   I love reconnecting with good people, as it allows us to compare notes and see how we can help each other with what we’re doing now. It becomes a process of weeding out the weenies, and finding a winning team to accomplish goals and rely on in times of need.

   If there’s one thing I’ve amassed in my life it’s a list of quality people, and just because life can get so hectic it’s easy to lose track sometimes. I have some time at home in these next couple of weeks, and it would do me good to reshuffle and realign my contacts list.

   Hopefully, the people on that list are in a good space too, and we’ll take whatever we’re all doing to a higher level. I’m really excited about the chances of good things happening this year on many levels. I’ve paid my dues, and I feel like I’m in the driver’s seat to do or be whatever I want. Part of that is to surround myself with fun people to share everything.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary