13-3

Sunday December 30th, 2007 - Milwaukee, WI/Lake Villa, IL

The year is winding down and again I can’t believe how fast it went. Time is flying faster and faster every year and the faster it flies the less I am afraid of - including death. As I get older I can feel my own mortality and realize that all of this life is temporary for us all. We each have our own set of circumstances and problems to work out and that‘s what we get.

This life is never going to be equal or fair and I’m starting to reluctantly accept that too. I hope there is a next life and I hope it’s better than this one. I know I am not the only one disillusioned with all the insanity going on and for whatever time I have left I will try to do what I can to contribute something to the betterment of the collective. And then I’ll leave.

My beloved Packers won a meaningless game today and it took their record up to 13-3. I’ll never forget when they did that back in 1996 because I couldn’t enjoy it. I lived out in Reno back then and was flown back to Milwaukee to have to testify against my best friend in a bank robbery case. I remember getting off that plane and everyone was wearing green.

I had waited my whole life to be able to enjoy that but the daily stress of preparing to be a government witness took the thrill out of football. It took the thrill out of life itself. It’s a feeling I wouldn’t wish on anyone at any time but during that time made it even worse. An ugly situation was made uglier and I just couldn’t join in all that fun everyone was having.

That feeling crossed my mind today as I thought about all that’s gone on since that year. I had to end up testifying at the trial and my best friend went to prison. Then I returned to Reno and I was fired from my radio job two months later. Then I moved to LA for a year and tried to pursue comedy. Then I ran out of money and moved back to Chicago to work at comedy and get paid rather than knock on the door of some imbecile at a talent agency.

Then I got another radio job in Salt Lake City. I moved out there and got fired after only a year and again I was at ground zero with no backup. I again moved back to Chicago and started doing road comedy again. Then I got yet another radio job at the Loop. I thought I was on my way then but after only thirteen months I got fired there too. Another wipeout.

That was in December of 2004 and for the last three years I’ve been slugging it out once again on the road and trying to build up my contacts and survive at the same time. I have a very hard callous in some ways and a very soft spot in others. A person can only absorb so much punishment and I have taken my lumps to say the least. It’s amazing I am still living.

Sprinkled in all that time I almost died in a head on car wreck when I plowed right into a guard rail in a Geo Metro going 65 miles an hour. Again it’s a miracle I’m not dead. I only broke a couple of ribs and I even made it to my gig that night in a rental car. I did not give up during all this time but I haven’t caught many breaks either. I just survive. It’s a wash.

Oh yeah, I lost a house in the deal too. I couldn’t pay my mortgage in Salt Lake City so I ended up just giving it back to the bank and moving out of town with my feelings hurt.

None of these things left much time to find a wife or really work on my career and make the most of whatever talents I do have. I have been too busy surviving all these years to be able to do what I need to do to get seen by someone who can help me get to the next level of whatever I need to be getting to. It’s only now that I am free enough to be able to try it.

I drove up to Milwaukee to have dinner with my cousin Brett. This is our last chance to get together for a while because he’s working hard trying to get his own life going. He has his own mountain to climb but we’ve known each other our whole lives and can relate to a lot of each other’s troubles. He was a witness at the bank trial too and he remembers how I had to drop everything and get prepared for weeks to testify. The whole thing is surreal.

We talked about it over our steak dinner and we agreed it wasn’t fun for anybody at the time and it’s an even less pleasant memory now. What else can we do but keep fighting? It turned out like it turned out and that’s how it looks in the record book. It’s like a photo in a school year book. Years later that ugly gangly buck toothed dorky picture is permanent.

Brett is going to be busy with his job for the next few months and I told him I will be at work trying to get my business idea off the ground. He reminded me that I’ve always done my best when I didn’t listen to anyone else and did things my own way. He’s right. He’s in my corner and thinks if anyone can pull off this idea it will be me. I appreciate the support.

I really think I will be able to pull this project off but I am not expecting it to be easy. I’ll have ups and downs like anything else and in all likelihood there will be more downs at the beginning which will be in the next few months. I need to have a thick skin and think all of my moves through and keep thinking the whole time as I breathe life into my new dream.

It sure would have been great to have had this idea and amount of experience in 1996 to work on the first time the Packers were 13-3. I’d be a lot farther along in life and business and one or two less radio firings would have been nice too but none of that happened and I am where I am. I’m the age I am too and that won‘t shrink either. The clock is running.

I know a lot of people have regrets and think of what could have been but the key is just keep going. Life will be over soon enough anyway and nobody will care whether you lived out any of your dreams or not. All they’ll care about is how to mow around the headstone. I for one am going to keep chasing this dream until someone mows around my headstone.

Uranus Factory Outlet is going to be a gathering place for people who enjoy laughter on all levels. It will be for the people who like to create the laughs and for those who just like to laugh themselves. If I do it right I can make it not only a profitable venture in a financial sense but also a service to mankind. If there’s anything this planet needs badly it’s laughs.

All my past trials, troubles and traumas need to stay right there - the past. I can’t let that cripple me now. I haven’t met too many others that have had to fight as hard as I have but there are some. But again - life is never going to be fair. I’m heading into ‘08 with a focus and determination like I’ve never had in my life. Let’s get it on - I am the King of Uranus!