A Fast Start

Wednesday December 26th, 2007 - Lake Villa, IL

Believe it or not I had a fantastic day today. Yesterday I was contemplating between the bullet or the rope as to how I should end my life but today I came back strong and had the best full day of work I’ve put in for quite some time. I got up and started working with the things I have rather than lamenting the things I don’t. It wasn’t easy but that’s what I did.

The good thing about all this is I’ve been here before. I’ve had brutal Christmases all my life and December 26th is a joyous day on my calendar because a weight has been lifted and I can start looking ahead to the new year. I’ve also been in the position of being at ground zero and having to start over so many times that it doesn’t frighten me in the least. I’m ok.

Yes, losing my other computer was a kick in the shorts. For whatever reasons that made it happen it happened and I can’t control that now. With that in mind I forced myself to be in a positive mindset all day today. If somebody REALLY focuses on a positive nugget for anything that goes wrong there is one. It may be very difficult to find it but one is there.

It’s like one of those ‘good news/bad news’ jokes. The doctor comes in and says ‘There is good news and bad news. The bad news is that your legs will have to be amputated. The good news is the guy in the next bed wants to buy your shoes.’ Sick? Twisted? Cruel? Yes it is but there is a positive in every single situation. That’s all I was thinking about today.

The bad news is my computer was stolen and I lost all my life’s work and the backup of it. The good news is nobody but me really cares. I won’t lose any comedy work over it for one thing. I don’t need notes to do shows and get paid and in fact I never have used notes like a lot of comedians do. They are lost without their cheat sheets but I never needed one.

More good news is that they didn’t break my car windows like the others who also got robbed. They didn’t get the check for $400 that was on my visor because I had just gotten my mail before I came to the show. Plus I still got paid at the end of the night for the show I did and it was a very strong one. They will have me back and I sold a lot of cds as well.

I can still walk and see and don’t have any cancerous tumors that I know of and I won’t have to sleep in the park or in my car any time soon. These are all good things and I know I should always look on the bright side but it’s not always that easy. Today I decided I will make a new plan and start over and since nobody else cares about my plight neither will I.

One thing I did today was fast - as in not eat anything. I’ve read books on it for a while and even tried it a few times over the years. I think it’s great but the hard part is discipline. The worst thing is eat a whole chocolate pie to break it and that’s what most people do. It needs to be done correctly both to start and finish and I want to get into it a lot deeper.

I’ve been eating horribly and I know it but so has everyone else in America. It’s time to get on a better program and today was the day I started. I didn’t eat at all all day and I felt my stomach gurgle and there were some pangs but I drank a lot of water and I feel great.

The great thing about fasting is that it makes the senses sharper. I have been putting lots of unhealthy foods into my body for a long time and it needs to stop. One day won’t be an instant cure but I really think I can make it a habit and do it one day a week for all of ‘08. I still have the books and I will look them over to see the proper way to go about all this.

Lots of people swear by fasting. Jesus did it in the Bible. Forty days is a long time but if I worked my way up to it and didn’t do it stupidly I bet that would be a fantastic feeling in a lot of ways. It would not only be good for the body but I bet it would clear the mind for fantastic creativity. I have to face it, my days of eating anything I want are now OVER.

But again, I’m totally ok with it. Today I popped DVDs into my new computer and then sorted out boxes as I kind of half watched and half sorted. I watched Goodfellas because it is based on a true story. My movie script is also based on a true story and I wanted to look at it again from that angle. I’ve seen it many times but I watched it with new eyes today.

One thing I had never done before was watch all of the extras on the DVD. I really liked all of it and it made the time go fast. I also watched a James Brown concert from 1981 and thoroughly enjoyed that too. James and George Clinton are my favorites and I ran across a DVD of George I forgot I had and watched that also. They’re both true master showmen.

I bought some furniture a couple of weeks ago at the thrift store in Waukegan and never did put it where I wanted it - until today. I moved around my whole room and placed it all exactly where I wanted it and started stacking all the shelves with books, cds and DVDs. I got rid of a ton of that stuff when I moved and I can see I need to get rid of a lot more but at least for the first time since I’ve been here it’s starting to feel a little bit like my home.

I’ve got a lot of books to read and a ton of audio programs to listen to and I arranged all of it so it will be my business headquarters for Uranus Factory Outlet. I now finally have a desk to work at and two bookshelves with my books put in exact order so I can find what I need in a half a second. It was an all day project but it was really fun and therapeutic too.

For the first time in my life I now have a set place for my birth certificate, social security card, passport, car title, tax papers and any other important paper I may need. I bought the chest of drawers for $20 and I already know it was money well spent. I now have a clue as to where my things are and I can already tell I’m more organized than I have EVER been.

I still have a long way to go but today was as good as one day could be coming from the mental place I have been in the last few days. It feels great to make a strong rebound and I don’t think it has to stop any time soon. If I use this as a motivator and keep working with what I have I might not be as bad off as I first thought. But I’m not getting cocky just yet.

I did get a call for a comedy booking in Peoria in February which made me feel fantastic. I was apparently recommended by another comedian and the booker called and gave me a week at a new club that’s opening there. I can use the cash and I appreciate the thought of another comedian recommending me. One day at a time is the plan and today was positive.