Spring Headcleaning

Tuesday March 25th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

I’m working steady for the next little while and I’m glad about that. I thought I’d lay off a little and get my business going but I haven’t done that at all. I’ve let it fall behind and I feel like a weenie. Too many things are in my face at once and I’m not getting it down to a system where I can make the most out of my time. This is a constant problem for me.

I can make all the excuses I want about being left handed and flaky and a creative type and all that but nobody really cares. I guess that takes the pressure off but there is a voice deep down inside me that tells me I can do a lot better. I am not satisfied with half-assing things and I want to squeeze every drop of potential I have out of me before I cash it in.

Fun is important and I love to enjoy a lot of things but the very best feeling is when I’ve put in a full effort on something and given it my all. That hasn’t happened nearly as much as I’d like it to and I want that to change. Working a lot of shows in the next two weeks is a great way to get me back on track. I’ll have to make good use of my time and I will.

This week I’m working at the downtown Zanies. That’s a hallowed hall of comedy lore as Jay Leno and Jerry Seinfeld and Sam Kinison and just about every other comedy giant of the last 30 years has worked there and I’m a regular there too. It’s a great place to work out material and keep improving and I intend to use this week as a workshop for myself.

Tonight was the first session. There were about 60 people at the show and they were not the greatest of laughers…at first. They were from all over the place from England to Ohio to Mississippi to Boston. I had to read them and decide what direction to take the show. It was a real challenge to get them going but I have a lot of experience so I went to work.

It’s easy to just say ‘these people stink’ and walk through a show with a condescending attitude. ‘Hey, I’m getting paid. Why do I need to impress THESE idiots?’ Part of that is true and I admit I’ve had that attitude more than once but this week I’m not going to do it at all. I’m fortunate to get this booking and I appreciate it and I won’t let anything spoil it.

I leaned into it tonight and was totally soaked in sweat when I got off. I didn’t intend to do my Greyhound bus bit but the energy swayed that way and I let it flow. I practiced the long version of it and went off on tangents and ad libbed a few lines and it worked great.

These are the kinds of things I need to work on every night from now on. I’ve got a nice solid 45 minute show I can do in 99% of comedy clubs in America and not a lot of people can say that but I can’t and won’t rest on that fact. I want to make it better and better and I know that I’ll never be satisfied with it but as long as I’m improving I know I’m growing.

I still have to get my days organized better though. I need to get my taxes ready and I’ve been pretty good at keeping records this past year so it shouldn’t be a nightmare but I still need to get it finished. I also want to get my website up and work on getting comedy class lessons on it. Not only that I want to get Uranus Factory Outlet up, running and profitable.

These are all big projects and I love thinking about them and working on them but if it’s unorganized like I have been none of them will ever get finished and I don’t want to make that mistake. I’ve come too far to get here and not closing the deal would be a big waste.

This is still my prime and it doesn’t have any guarantees of how long the shelf life on it will be. There are a lot of younger comics coming up that are very talented and a they are all competing with me for audiences who are a lot younger too. I have an expiration date at least in the comedy clubs. I can see that and need to cover myself for the next chapter.

Building business skills is a must. I’ve been really lax on that and I need to get back to the level of excitement I was at when I first had the Uranus idea. I talked with my friend Jim McHugh today and he scolded me about being too flighty and all over the place and he was 1000% right. He apologized afterward but I told him he didn’t need to at all.

I thanked him for his thoughts and he really was right. All the people I told about what I wanted to do got it and I hit a nerve and now I’m letting it drift away. WRONG. Why is it not getting my full attention? I can’t answer that and I knew when Jim said it I need a new commitment to that idea. I am the King of Uranus and I am a self made multi-millionaire.

I think that’s the first time I typed that phrase out and looked and it kind of scares me a little. Everyone dreams about being rich and famous and successful but to actually DO it is another story. Am I afraid of it? I don’t think so but maybe I am. What is the tweak that has stopped me from pursuing what I still think is a worthwhile goal? I have no answer.

I also have no answer as to why my family situation still rots. Yesterday was my brother Larry’s birthday. He’s two years older than me. I haven’t spoken with him in a few years and I don’t know why. We didn’t have a fight or anything and he’s a wonderful soul but it just has never been in him to contact me and I have tried to contact him but he ignores it.

According to my half brother Bruce Larry isn’t mad at me but he just lives his own life and I’m not part of that for whatever reason. I would love to get back together and at least meet face to face with all my siblings now that the old man is finally dead and start over. We’ve all got a lot of healing to do and it would mean the world to me if we could do it.

Bruce and I were in contact via emails for a few months and things were going in a very positive direction and then it just stopped. I hope he’s ok. If I offended him it sure was an unintentional thing and after a lifetime of non communication I’d hate to end it now when it just was getting started. He was really in a good place and gave me some needed hope.

My sister Tammy has held her grudge for 15 years now but I have to give her credit for her persistence. I can’t think of any other ways to try to apologize or smooth it over and if any healing with her will take place she’ll have to be the one to do it. I’m all out of ideas.

Getting all this family stuff straightened out would do wonders for my soul. Making all of my millions is a fun dream but it would be worth a whole lot more than money to heal the family pain that has hung over my head for so long. A fresh start there would be fantastic.