This Little Piggy

Tuesday March 11th, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

Tuesdays are my weekend and today I hung out and did nothing. Mondays are usually packed and I usually have comedy shows on Fridays and Saturdays so Tuesday is a day to rot and do nothing. Actually I have a hard time doing nothing so I spent most of the day sorting baseball cards. That’s probably boring to most people but it’s very relaxing to me.

I won a big auction on Ebay of 1971 baseball cards and I started plowing through them. That’s the first year I remember collecting as a kid and it brought back memories. That’s the main appeal of collecting sports cards. It’s an immediate trip back in time to the safe part of childhood. I have a lot of places I don’t want to go back to but I did enjoy sports.

It occurred to me as I was sorting that most of the players are now in their late 60s and early 70s and that was kind of an eye opener. When I was a kid they seemed old to me but in reality they were in their prime years. Now I’m older than they were then and they’d be happy to trade places with me. It’s all so surreal. Nobody stays exactly the same forever.

I used to be very athletic and wiry but now I’m a flabby pig and need to drop some lard. I played baseball night and day in the summer until it was football season and then that’s what I did in my spare time. I loved basketball too. Now I am morphing into the slobs that I talk about in my act and I don’t like it. It’s my own fault though. I don’t exercise at all.

I start and stop and start and stop and stop and stay stopped until I start again and then it stops. There’s always more stopping than there is starting and in between there is a lot of great food available with little effort. I love to sample good food but I’m paying for it all.

Yes it’s delicious but if I keep up this lifestyle they’ll be burying me sooner than later.
I’ve been in this situation before and I’m not the only one struggling with it either. Life is passing quickly and I’m not the young buck I once was who could eat anything and not worry about it. I can kid myself all I want to but I’m an out of shape piece of chewed gum and if I don’t immediately change my thinking it will cause a catastrophic event quickly.

Wow, how’s that for relaxing on my day off? It’s true though and I’m not doing myself any favors by ignoring it. I need to start an exercise plan and STAY WITH IT. I also need to watch what I eat more. Sodas are the killer and I admit it. I love them and I need to stop or at least drastically cut down on them. I am feeling sluggish and tired and I don’t like it.

The best birthday present I can give myself is to get my head out of my ass and then get my ass out of Taco Bell and all the other places that have captured my palate’s fancy. I’ve had a lifetime of eating whatever I wanted and it was great but now it’s caught up and it’s time to change my ways. How many times have I written about starting to exercise daily?

If I don’t do it I won’t be writing anything. There will be something written about me - my obituary. I’ve had enough great tasting food for three lifetimes. If there’s one priority I made in life it’s eating good. Now I have to eat WELL, as in healthy. Time to do it right.