Booker Backlash

Thursday May 1st, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Mixed emotions are everywhere. Tim Walkoe had an extra ticket for the Cubs/Brewers game at Wrigley Field today. I love going to Wrigley Field but it’s always weird when the Brewers are in town because I don’t know who to cheer for. I grew up in Milwaukee and I listened to Brewers, Cubs and White Sox games on the radio and I liked all three teams.

The Brewers were in the American League then and I always loved the Cubs because of the mystique of the National League. I always hated the DH and still do so I looked on the National League as real baseball. Plus I loved the ivy of Wrigley and just always liked the Cubs. When I moved to Chicago the Brewers were still in the AL so I became a Cubs fan.

Then when the Brewers jumped leagues they were so bad for so long they were never a threat. Now they’re good and I really like their team. They’ve got great young players that are easy to cheer for and part of me really likes them. But another part likes the Cubs too.

Anytime I get to go to Wrigley Field I enjoy it. It’s just like going to a Packer game. It’s the shrine of that sport and it’s a wonderful experience. I decided to cheer for the Cubs as Tim and the two other friends he brought were die hard Cub fans so that was my team for the day. It helped that one of the other guys also grew up in Milwaukee and understood.

He was a few years older than me and he loved the Braves. When they moved he moved over to the Cubs and he also said that he has the same problem when the Brewers are here as to which team to cheer for. We all saw a very exciting game and in the end the Brewers won in the 9th inning. I didn’t want to be rude and cheer in front of the other guys though.

It would have been good if the Cubs won too. I hope I get to see a World Series win as I have followed them since I was 9 or 10 years old. But I like the Brewers too. I’m wishing both teams good luck and I hope they both get into the playoffs. That would be really fun.

Tim Walkoe is one of the funniest humans on the entire planet. Any Chicago comedian will tell you that and it’s beyond me why he isn’t a major superstar. He’s quick and funny and has a rhythm that’s all his own and off stage he can crack me up like no other person I’ve ever met. Any time I get to hang with him I always enjoy it because he entertains me.

It was very nice of him to call me for the game and we sat and talked about the state of the whole comedy business. Tim is a few years older than me and has been doing it a few years longer and he sees the red flags coming up everywhere too. He’s in the same boat I am in that he’s not a ‘name’ act. He’s as funny as anyone on earth but he’s not famous.

That seems to be what’s needed now. Some no talent wanker who was on Last Comic Standing for three weeks packs people in but can’t deliver a solid funny 45 minute show. Tim Walkoe and me and many other guys who aren’t famous can blow the roof off a club but nobody cares. We get blown off by bookers and then everyone wonders why we have a ‘bad attitude’. Tim was sorry to hear about my situation in Topeka but he understood it.

I heard from the booker today and it’s turning out exactly as I thought it would. Badly. I let it cool off for a couple of days just so I could think about it rationally and cool down a bit. I wrote out my thoughts carefully and explained the situation at hand. NOBODY had a chance in that situation and I was screwed before I got on stage. It was the club’s fault.

Bookers NEVER take the side of the comic in these kinds of situations and that’s what I expected here too. That’s exactly what I got. He wrote that since I didn’t get my money at the time that he would have to ‘teach me a lesson’ and I’d have to eat it this time. He also said ‘I’m NOT going to let you ruin my business. You’ve done this before.’ Hold on here.

YES I have walked off stage before. I can handle just about anything on stage but when it gets out of hand there comes a point when nobody on Earth would be able to do a show. It gets loud and insane or someone throws something or the sound and lights malfunction or who knows what? Many times we just have to suck it up as comics but not this time.

He went on to lecture me about how I was ‘representing him’ and I put it right back on him. Yes, I was representing him and that’s why I walked off stage after asking to get the drunks removed THREE DIFFERENT TIMES. Had I stayed I’d have probably taken the mike stand and caved in a few skulls. But I didn’t want to let it get to that point so I left.

Whatever he thinks I did do a very good show on Friday night and I feel I should get my pay for that night at the very least. Saturday should be paid too but I won’t push that. I do want my pay for Friday and I will call the owner myself and explain my situation politely and see what happens. Since the booker won’t fight for me I will pursue this by myself.

I really hate to see it get this far. He should protect me here but he doesn’t. Most of the bookers won’t. They’re out for themselves only and don’t understand how difficult it is to do standup comedy. They don’t really care if the situation is out of hand and that’s wrong.

‘Teaching me a lesson’ by not asking for my pay infuriates me and I’ll go over his head.
This means I won’t get booked with him anymore but at this point I’m ok with that. He showed his true colors and his gigs are at the lower end of the totem pole anyway. I’m not looking to make enemies and I really did like working for the guy but this took it too far.

I remember a situation with that fat bag of pig snot who runs the club in Milwaukee that thinks he’s Al Capone’s overweight clone. He acts like a gangster and he pulled a similar stunt years ago and screwed me out of $400. I tried to be nice and handle it professionally then but he was an ass and flaunted it in my face to boot. I listened to the wrong people.

The booker there was supposed to help but she didn’t so I am out the cash. She’s out of the business. Who lost? Everyone except that fat scumbag. I should have filed a claim for it in small claims court so if and when he sells the joint I’ll get my money eventually. If it took 20 years it’d still be worth it if it would make his life as miserable as he made mine.

I really don’t want it to come to that though. All I want is my money for a show I did. If I never play Topeka again I’m not going to die but this whole thing seems so unnecessary.