Joy And Pain

Monday May 19th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

‘Joy and pain…like sunshine and rain.’ Those are lyrics from a song by Frankie Beverly and Maze that has always been one of my favorites. It talks about how life is made of ups and downs and really says it well. I got a heaping face full of both today and joy is better.

We had a very strong show today on WLS. The guys were all in sync and Jerry was too. We all contributed today. Maura Myles is Jerry’s news person and she’s very capable as a broadcaster but also can be funny too. All of us are starting to gel together and it’s a blast.

Half an hour on WLS every week is the equivalent to a TV spot. More people will hear us in our short time on the air than if we each headlined a club seven nights a week for an entire year. We’re getting more and more comfortable doing it and we can get better still.

That was the joy part. Nothing feels better than having something like this come from a single idea into a reality that is now ready to head to the next level. We’ve been on the air for six months and soon will do a live week at Zanies downtown in June. We’re excited.

Kipper McGee took us out to lunch today on the station’s dime so we could talk about a plan for the week at Zanies. We are going to do a press release and make it an event and it will be exactly what I’ve always wanted to happen. It’s only taken 20 years to make it so.

The pain part was getting home and seeing an email from a guy named Chili Challis. He used to write for Jay Leno and approached me several years ago about teaching him how I teach my comedy classes. He promised to get Jay Leno to endorse my book and tape set if I’d let him sit in with me and I did. It sounded like a great deal at the time so I said yes.

Boy did I make a gargantuan mistake. He came in with all the flashy L.A. talk and had a business card that said ‘Tonight Show Writer’ on it and he played the game great. He was never a strong comic but always tried to be everyone’s friend and sometimes that works.

We taught some classes and I ended up doing all the work but he watched how I did it. I tried to be generous and share my resources because I truly love to teach. It’s a matter of a chance to give something back but I’m learning for others it’s a gravy train to easy cash.

We did a class in Ann Arbor, MI which is one of my favorite clubs. The manager is laid back and easygoing and everyone likes him. He let us do what we wanted and it we had a nice turnout and the class was a success. Little did I know I was about to get hoodwinked.

Soon after Challis went behind my back and told the manager I ‘wasn’t interested’ and he slid right in and took the class over himself. No phone call. No ‘thanks for helping me get started.’ No nothing. It really stuck in my craw and I told him. He laughed it off and it really scorched my ‘nads and still does. Now he’s doing it again and I fired off an email I probably shouldn’t have but it infuriates me that a wank pole can get away with this and I can’t do a thing about it. I spent years perfecting my lessons and he coasted on my work.

When I used to promote pro wrestling shows I always noticed how the good guys inside the ring were the biggest ass bags outside of it. They would come across as such nice guys in public but behind the scenes they were the slithering snakes I had to keep both eyes on.

The bad guys in the ring were always the nicest outside of it. Those were the ones that I could call when my car broke down to come give me a jump start. It always amazed me to see how that mindset worked but it was definitely true. It’s also in other walks of life too.

Ministers come to mind. The ones that preach against things the most are the ones who seem to get caught with cocaine and underage sex partners of both genders or whatever is the vilest nastiest sin in the deepest pages of the scriptures. They’re the worst offenders.

There are a few comedians I can think of that come to mind too. I won’t name them but I can think of several I know who have been down this tired path. They play the clean and wholesome family man card on stage and then when the show’s over they’re the first ones out chasing skanky waitresses and snorting everything they can pound up their nose holes.

It’s not my job to tell anyone how to live and I’ve got enough problems of my own for a dozen country music records but what makes my colon wink is that these other guys try to hide it and pretend they’re good people. No they’re not. They’re greasy weasels from hell.

This is a real lump in my throat today. Some days it would just roll off my back but not today. I really helped Challis and thought his motives were good. Usually I can spot a bad egg a mile away but he even slid past my radar which is usually pretty accurate. I’m sorry he felt he had to go behind my back like a punk when all had had to do was just tell me.

That’s why I’m so upset with the other pencil neck poop shoot who boned me on out of the comedy class money. He and Challis were ‘friends’, much like Hitler and Mussolini. I must be putting out the wrong vibe if I keep attracting people into my life who are out for no good and I am going to do whatever I need to to stop it immediately. Enough already.

Will it kill me to have someone doing a comedy class in Ann Arbor, MI? No, it won’t. I don’t claim to be the only one who can teach a class but I do claim to put more into those classes than anyone I’ve met. I pour my heart and soul out for my students and try to give them all way more than they pay for. These other yahoos are out to skim a quick nickel.

It’s important to react in the right way to all this. I’m actually more hurt than angry that both the embezzler and Challis would be so cold as to stick it to me behind my back. That is not something I’d do and I admit that I don’t like it one bit. But I need to handle it right and not look like an ass which I can tend to do quite easily. This is a delicate situation.

The smart thing to do is keep focusing on the good things. The WLS show is sprouting. Uranus Factory Outlet is still a huge possibility. I am still able to teach comedy classes at Zanies who have been loyal to me and continue to let me have free reign to do whatever I want with their blessing. That’s what I focus on, not backstabbers I thought I could trust.