Miles Of Smiles

Sunday May 25th, 2008 - Kenosha, WI

No Mothership Connection radio show in Kenosha today but I went up there anyway to help a friend live a dream. Bert Haas is the booker of Zanies but he is also a writer and is working on a play about a young comedian being visited by the ghosts of comedians who have passed away. It’s kind of like An Evening At The Improv meets A Christmas Carol.

Bert has done me too many favors in my life to count. Whenever I have needed work he has filled my calendar and kept my dream alive so the least I could do was help feed his. I hired one of the engineers at the radio station to record the play and Bert brought the cast.

I played the small part of a jaded road warrior comedian that wasn’t too far from what I play in real life. That lead into the young comic played by a very funny up and comer kid named Bryan Berrey. Mark Shilobrit was also in it and he played Rodney Dangerfield.

I’ve known Mark and Bert for years and years and it was my pleasure to hook Mark up with Bert because I knew he did a superb Rodney impersonation. Bert picked Bryan and it was an excellent choice. Another kid on the rise is Jeff Hansen who was Mitch Hedberg.

It took a couple of hours to lay it down in the studio but it went very well and we all got to contribute. Bert has worked very hard on this project and he asked me nicely for a hand in getting it recorded so how could I say no? I did all I could to make sure he got it done.

It feels very good to be able to pay back someone who has been so good to me. One of a few things in this life that makes me happy is my chance to make others happy. That’s the best part of being a comedian. Hearing all those people laughing is what fuels life‘s fire.

I’ve always enjoyed making other people smile and I still do. I decided to give away the Rodney Dangerfield autographed tie I just won on Ebay recently to Mark Shilobrit since I know it’s his birthday next week. He had heard about it anyway because I stupidly leaked it out in this diary a while back but even still his eyes bugged out when he actually saw it.

I thought he was going to start crying and I could tell it was a huge hit. He’s got a house and will hang it on his wall and enjoy it more than I would so I let him have it. Bert had a smile on his face from the time he walked in the station until the time we left and I could tell he was pleased with how it went as were we all. I put some big smiles on faces today.

That’s what makes me feel alive and I’ve always wanted to make people feel good but I have failed miserably with some of the ones that were supposed to be closest to me. I’ve never been able to mesh with my family and that kind of stuff still bothers me even now.

My sister still won’t talk to me fifteen years after we had a falling out despite my efforts to patch things up several times. My brother stopped talking to me too a few years ago for reasons only he knows. We didn’t have a fight but he just stopped talking to me. The very worst is my half brother who stopped answering emails after we’d started to correspond.

That one still puzzles me. We started to really open up a solid line of communication on both ends and then it just stopped. He didn’t answer an email and then I sent another and I could tell after a while it wasn’t an accident. I don’t know what I did but we now have not corresponded in months and it looks like it’s over for whatever reason. It baffles me still.

Howie Mandel used to talk about how he could be in a room with 3000 people in it and if just one person in front wasn’t laughing that’s the one he’d focus on and it would really bother him. I don’t agree with Howie Mandel on too many things concerning comedy but that’s definitely one I do. I guess it’s the comic’s nature to see the one guy NOT laughing.

In my life I have probably made over a million people laugh at one time or another and I have had too many people to count come up to me after a show or on the street or out in a restaurant come up to me and say something like ‘YOU are SOOOOO funny.’ It’s great. I love hearing it and it never gets old but thinking of the few who think I‘m a jerk is a pain.

If someone thinks I’m not funny I can live with that. But when they think I’m an ass or a mean person makes me sad because that’s not at all what I want to be. Radio people are notorious for freezing me out and I can’t understand it. Bob and Tom in Indianapolis hate my guts still apparently and I still don’t think what I did was all that bad. But I’m banned.

Dave Luczak and Bob and Brian in Milwaukee are two morning shows that have chilled me big time for years. They will go out of their way to keep me off their show and not any of the three of them would spit on my teeth if my mouth was on fire. Again I’ve sincerely tried to end any hostilities with all of them and they wouldn’t even acknowledge me once.

It’s not easy to admit mistakes but I have made many and really don’t want to have heat with anyone but there is definitely a certain type of person that thinks I am the antichrist. I can’t change their minds no matter how hard I try and how many times I try so why worry about it? That’s the right answer but it’s not that easy. I sure wish I could end these feuds.

All I would want is for my sister or brothers or Bob and Tom or Bob and Brian or Dave Luczak to just send me an email or give me a call or something and say ‘Hey, you’re not my kind of person but at least you’ve made an honest attempt to apologize. I accept it.’

That would really make a huge difference in my warped world but I don‘t see it coming. I’ve tried and tried more than once with all of those people but they just blow me off and now it’s to the point where trying again would just be stupid. I’ve made an honest effort.

Nice guys might finish last but at least we finish with class and dignity. I will never get the approval of everyone but who does? Nobody. At least I have a large circle of friends I have taken a lifetime to collect that think I’m an ok guy. I sure hope they do anyway. I try.

Today I did more than try. I succeeded. This kind of a day makes memories that will get brought up years from now and I want to keep doing things like this with as many as I can for as long as I’m alive. The others who think I’m a weenie missed out on a loyal friend.