Club Most Club Owners

Saturday July 19thth, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Still catching up from yesterday’s Batman binge. After seeing that midnight showing of the movie I drove Jerry into the city to WLS. I had told him I would because I intended on continuing on to Shelbyville, IL to do a gig but plans changed. The opener and I live close to each other and with gas prices it wasn’t smart to drive separately so we split expenses.

Jerry would have had to catch the train and he hadn’t planned on that so I didn’t want to put him in a spot so I just drove him in like I said I would. It was 4:30am by the time I got there but that’s the best time to be in the city. I dropped him off and went to get my mail.

STILL no check from Topeka and that infuriates me. I thought we had an agreement for a peaceful settlement to a bothersome problem that shouldn’t have been a problem at all. I tried my best to be an adult and a professional and speak softly but in the end I’m still out. The club owner is being nothing short of a bitch about this and it’s a total lack of respect.

If I owed that pinhead fifty cents he’d sue me or have me banned from working there or who knows what kind of hell I’d have to pay. The booker would be all over me to get him paid off and I’d be barred from getting work until I cleared it up. When it’s me he doesn’t care at all and even though I told him I’d send him his commission I’m still out of luck.

This is the kind of petty insanity that makes big stars order the bowl of M&Ms with the brown ones removed. It’s maddening to have to keep after this weeks and months after it was an unnecessary distraction in the first place. I highly doubt I’ll ever get my money. If I keep pestering the booker about it that will be a sorer spot than it already is. This sucks.

If I take the maggot in Topeka to small claims court I’ll have a hassle and an expense of filing the paperwork and all of that is nothing I really want to do. Who does? Just pay me. I did the work and I even negotiated a deal where I wasn’t even asking to be paid for what turned out to be the issue at question. I just wanted my money for the show that went fine.

This is a very dangerous area for me. In the past I’ve done stupid things like send a club owner that had a heart attack a mail package that included a tub of Crisco, sausage gravy, Cheese Whiz, a pound of bacon and a jar of Miracle Whip. When I had my car accident in 1993 he had a ‘benefit’ for me and kept all the door donation money. That was my retort.

Was it funny? Sure. To the comedians I was a hero because that fat bag of pus had done a lot of underhanded things to a lot of people but I stood up to him and didn’t take it. I did send a message but I never did get my money. To this day he owes me $400 and it stinks.

Again, I tried to reason with that imbecile just like this one. He blew me off because the majority of other comedians will take stuff like that because they don’t want to lose work. I get that concept because work is limited but I don’t get how the majority of club owners sleep at night. This is just plain THEFT and if this was the Mafia they’d both get wacked. I’m glad I’m not in the Mafia because I’d have to take out a second hit and still be stiffed.

Anyone would be angry if this happened to them and I’m no exception. This is NOT the error of a well intended but absent minded accountant. This is flat out disrespect. This is a classic case of ‘Oh YEAH? So sue me.’ They seem to enjoy thumbing their noses at us. It goes on way too often and makes being in business not fun. These people are not ethical.

But somehow they still stay in business. That black hearted oaf in Milwaukee still has a club and our little incident happened back in 1994. He has a legendary reputation of being a selfish lout and screwing people over and bouncing checks on comedians but there’s an endless supply of people who are willing to work there and that cycle of abuse lives on.

I for one think my dignity and self respect are worth more than working for weenies like that but they still owe me money for shows that I did. It’s ‘only’ $375 in Topeka and $400 in Milwaukee but ‘only’ is a relative term. If they were owed that by me it would be a war but since I am owed by them it’s ‘only’ $400. ‘Why can’t you just let it go?’ Could YOU?

I can really use all of that money right now. Every single penny. I have two root canals I need to pay for for one and for another thing I earned the money. I did the shows and they were able to sell drinks while I did them so they have already been paid. I want my money and it’s now to the point where if I saw either one of those idiots I’d just start punching.

Business is not pleasant when it boils down to this. I have to believe small claims court is full of way more petty things than this but I can see why. There’s so much emotion that goes with it. This isn’t always about just the money. Respecting people is part of it too. It all boils down to the Golden Rule. No matter anyone’s religion that is THE best rule ever.

I always try to live by it and I sometimes fail but when I do I attempt to make it right. It wouldn’t have come to this point if it were me on the other side because I’d have handled it a lot differently. These two lowlife scumbags think they’re above the Golden Rule. NO.

I can’t make either one of them pay me. Having this Topeka trouble reminds me of that selfish soup head in Milwaukee and brings all that back up my mental drain pipe again. I try to forget about it but I can’t. Do I wish bad things on those people? Hmm. That’s very hard to say. To be honest if fat boy in Milwaukee had another heart attack I wouldn’t cry.

But wishing it on him is not what I’m about. All I wanted in the first place was to make all the customers laugh and get paid what we’d agreed on. THAT is my focus and taking time to waste energy wishing bad things on bad people doesn’t do anything to make me a better person. I don’t want to be around that kind of vibe but I do still want to get my pay.

I am washing my hands of this Topeka incident because I don’t see any positive energy coming out of it. I made my case and thought we had a deal negotiated but now it’s being ignored. I am a man of my word and if it had been me I’d have written the check quickly.

This is all a lesson for me as I move ahead with my Uranus Factory Outlet business. I am sure more incidents over money will occur and I intend to operate on an honest basis for my part of the business but I know not everyone else will follow suit. This is my warning.