Damage Control

Thursday July 10th, 2008 - Waukegan, IL/Kenosha, WI

I didn’t do all that much today but hopefully that’s about to change. I needed a day to be alone with my thoughts and a lot of thoughts they were. I’m at a real crossroads in my life right now and I don’t want to blow my opportunities like I’ve done so many times before.

I did some running around today but nothing strenuous. I stopped at my favorite joint to eat breakfast but the waitress I like was off. She hasn’t been there the last couple of times I stopped so maybe she quit or something but at least I stopped and tried. Grub was good as usual so it wasn’t a total loss. I do like that waitress though and would love to date her.

Maybe I’ll get a chance, maybe I won’t. Today wasn’t a day to worry about that or any other thing I can’t control. I’ve been beaten up lately by a lot of things and I just allowed whatever situation was at hand to be what it was. Maybe I should be like that more often.

After breakfast it was over to the radio station to cut a promo for the Mothership show. I met the G.M. for the first time and he was pretty laid back. I saw some others I haven’t seen in a while because I am in there on Sundays and they were all very complimentary of the show and whether they’ve heard it or not doesn’t matter. They were all very friendly.

After that I headed down to the Waukegan Auto Auction to drop off the title so I could run the Toyota through the auction. Whether it gets sold or not will be seen but I did get a message to stop doing the auction for a while. I need to pick ONE car and just drive that.

One thing I did was measure how far I walked yesterday and was shocked to find out it was exactly seven miles. That’s pretty good but I sure feel it in my legs today. It hurts just to get in and out of a car but at least I had a seven mile hike to think about what to do for the next little while. I need to regroup and pick a plan and stick with it. I’m too scattered.

I received quite an email from my friend Max down in Springfield. Max really took out the red pen and let me have it point blank. He told me some straight up points that cleared my sinuses and then some and I thank him for it. He was right. He told me I shouldn’t get wrapped up in car auctions and baseball cards and go out and live what I was meant to be.

I’d never really heard it put that way and a lot of it was in my face and non sugar coated but many times that’s how I am with people. They can’t take it and I become a pariah. It’s not easy to receive a face full of raw unbridled truth but that‘s exactly what I got today.

One thing Max can help me do is get my life savings back a little earlier than I thought. I have it tied up until late September as collateral for his ice cream shop and deli at a bank down in his town but he thinks he can rework the funding so I can get it earlier. I need it.

That would be SO huge even though I’ll end up spending a major chunk of it on teeth or my credit card bill but at least I’ll be able to get to ground zero and start over again with a clean slate. There will be no more baseball card purchases or junk cars in the near future.

I did those things because I enjoyed them and in a way I still do but it’s totally not what I need to be doing if I want any kind of a life and big time career. If I hit something I’ll be able to trade Rolls Royces like baseball cards if I want to but I’m not sure if I really do.

I want to CREATE. Period. That’s what I really enjoy. I thought about it all day and the things Max said are totally true. I need to crank out as much product as I can either as my own standup comedy products or writing movie scripts or even teaching comedy classes. I also need to focus on what’s good rather than what’s going wrong. That’s not so easy.

What IS easy? Nothing worthwhile is ever is. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so off target. Am I farting around to avoid something I know I have the ability to do? Am I afraid of it? I don’t know exactly what it is but I do know that what I’ve been doing is not satisfying.

Not a lot of people can do what I do on stage and the older I get the more I see that. I’ve really put my time in to learn how to do it and the vast majority of those who see it have a very positive opinion of it so why am I wasting my time trying to be a small time wheeler dealer just like my father and grandfather were? I don’t know but I’m sure rethinking it.

I got home and popped in the movie Airplane! I hadn’t watched that movie in years but it was made by the Zucker brothers who are from Milwaukee. I figured they were able to escape there and make something of themselves so I wanted to start soaking myself in the vibe so I can do it too. I watched it with the commentary from them and it was interesting.

They were in their 20s at the time and they had to fight the studios and bring it in under budget and all those hurdles new talents have to go through but they did it and it was very successful. They parlayed that into everything else they did and I have nothing but respect for them and would love to meet them someday. I learned a lot by watching and listening.

Dick Chudnow is another guy from Milwaukee I respect. Dick worked with the Zuckers and Jim Abrahams but apparently had a falling out for whatever reason. It’s not at all any of my business what the reason was and I’m not implying anyone was right or wrong. I’ve had my own share of that stuff myself. I don’t know that story but I do know about Dick.

Dick Chudnow went on to be the founder of Comedysportz. I was starting as a standup right at that time and sat in on a couple of their first meetings. I had a clear shot to be an original member then and in hindsight I kind of wish I would have done it. Too late now.

I saw the concept he was doing and liked it but I also didn’t want to share the stage back then. I wanted to be a standup so I decided to take that road but I know I could have done both at that time. Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda. Dick built that into a HUGE empire and he’s a brilliant marketer. He surrounded himself with talented people and I respect his vision.

The Zucker brothers are Hollywood stars. Dick Chudnow made the most of his situation and didn’t let their success stop him. He found his own thing and did it well. I’m now out floating in space and looking for my own thing to do well. I know it’s not at a car auction.