Shots And Giggles

Saturday July 5th, 2008 - Chicago, IL/Brookfield, WI

The last 36 hours have been some of the most physically painful and agonizing ones of my entire life. I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t go out and every minute of it was a constant throbbing ache. I had to do something about it today or I would have eaten a fresh bullet.

It was that painful. Whatever nerve or root I touched off sure had a lot of kick to it. This was absolute agony and I had to wait it out until I could find someone to help me. What it must have been like in the old days is unimaginable. I can’t imagine having this condition on the Mayflower or on Lewis and Clark’s journey. They’d have had to shoot me by now.

The first thing I did was call 1-800-DENTIST. I’d always heard that was the first step to getting emergency help but the idiot on the phone was completely useless. She asked for a lot of personal information and then my location and when I told her she made me wait an extra long time before she came back on the line and said ‘Everything near you is closed.’

Thanks a lot, pinhead. What am I supposed to do now, suffer until they open? I hung up in disgust before I said something I’d be sorry for and got in my car and went over to visit my regular dentist Dr. Beyer in Wheeling, IL. He’s a Russian guy with a work ethic that’s not common in America these days and if anyone would be open today it would be him.

Sure enough, I walked in the office and they took me within five minutes. Dr. Beyer has always been very straight with me and knows his job better than anyone I’ve ever met. He said he could get my root canal done today if I came back at 1:30 and I told him I could.

I don’t think I could have stood another night like last night and I’m glad I made a smart decision to come see him rather than depend on the moron I talked to on the phone. I have had enough problems listening to idiots in my life without letting another one screw me.

It turns out I needed a cleaning and a root canal and they found two more cavities too. It took me totally by surprise because I thought I didn’t have any teeth left that hadn’t gotten filled yet. I guess there are two more and again here we go with the big dental nightmare.

Last summer was a bad one and it looks like I’m picking up where I left off. I will have to foot the bill again because I have no insurance and it makes me thank those fine folks I used to work for at the Loop for firing us when they did so we all could lose our benefits.

It is what it is and I can’t turn back now. Today cost $900 I don’t have and the two new cavities won’t be cheap nor will the crown I need for the root canal. I’ll be running VERY lean for the next few months but what can I do? Unless I hit the lottery soon I’m screwed.

Dr. Beyer didn’t do the root canal work. There was a specialist in the building today and I guess I caught a break after all. He got me in and out in about an hour but not without an inordinate amount of needles. He had one that felt like a knitting needle that he jabbed me with and said ‘this might sting a little’ ten seconds after it was already shishkabobing me.

The part I worried most about was having to perform tonight after having had this done. It takes a lot of energy to do two shows and I didn’t want to have to go on after having all this drama today. I wasn’t very well rested at all and my mind was in my mouth all day.

That was nobody’s concern but mine because I had two shows to do at Giggles Comedy Pub in Brookfield, WI. They used to be in Germantown but they moved in the last year or so for whatever reason. I like Jesse the owner and we’ve worked together for many years.

This was a short week because of the holiday and actually the week was only one night. There were two shows tonight and I could feel my mouth was still numb as I walked into the club for the 7:15 early show. I was a little woozy and tired but nobody else knew that.

I thought both audiences tonight were exquisite. They could tend to be a little rowdy or drunk or just plain stupid over at the other place or any combination thereof but tonight it was anything but that. These people were fantastic and totally cheered up my whole day.

Both shows were right around 100-ish and there weren’t any hecklers or drunk idiots to distract me. That’s how I always thought it should be but I’ve been terribly and frequently wrong - especially in the Milwaukee area. I’m thrilled that tonight was so good and I gave everyone who came the very best I had. I was totally drenched in sweat after both shows.

I love it when it’s like that because I can feel a synergy with the audience. I can take the wheel and steer the show in any direction I want and when they’re with me it’s a dance. It isn’t difficult at all when they want it and tonight they all wanted it. It was fun for us all.

My mentor C. Cardell Willis would have been proud of me tonight and his family came out to see me. His wife Mary was there and his son Ben and his new wife came along and that was very nice of them to do that. I thanked Cardell from the stage and it made a huge difference to the family. They clapped loudly and all of them thanked me after the show.

Cardell was the greatest and he really would have been proud of me tonight. I had a bad couple of days with a lot of pain and personal baggage but I didn’t let it affect the show at all. After both shows people lined up to shake my hand and they were beaming when they said things like ‘You were SOOOO funny!’ or ‘I haven’t laughed that hard in YEARS!’

I usually respond with what Cardell taught me to say in those situations - ‘I’m glad you were here.’ Those few words say the most with the least and it personalizes it. If I just say thanks it doesn’t add that extra little touch. I used to watch Cardell say that exact phrase when people would come up to him. It sounded very classy when he used it so I do too.

Being a class act is important to me, especially in the Milwaukee area. This is my home turf and even though my siblings won’t talk to me and some radio people here think I’m a complete jackass I still want to conduct myself with class. Those people who won’t forget the past are missing out but I can’t make them like me. I tried to make up with all of them but they don’t want to so I did all I can do. All those people tonight thought I was great.