Father Figuring

Sunday June 21st, 2009 - Kenosha, WI/Lake Villa, IL

Another Father’s Day. No matter how many more I live to see it won’t erase the feeling of emptiness that goes with it. I won’t yammer on about it because I’ve done that enough. I talked to my cousin Brett today and he’s in the same boat. He and his old man have not spoken in several years and at this point he said he has no desire to. What’s done is done.

Unfortunately I can relate. I didn’t speak to my sperm donor for years either and then he died and that was it. No tears. No mourning. No emotions at all really. Not right away. He was such a cold hearted ogre I was just glad to know he wasn’t alive to be mean anymore.

The worst part is that I’m by far not the only one with an ugly father story. Many people have had to struggle with it and I’m sorry to hear of it. Wayne Dyer has an amazing story of how his father abandoned the whole family and Wayne never got to meet him at all. He only got to stand at his grave and that’s when he was able to forgive him for all the pain.

If you’ve never heard Wayne Dyer or have and don’t like him that is one amazing story I think every dented can should hear. I personally happen to really enjoy all of the stuff he puts out because I think he’s passionate about it and funny too. His vibe is extremely real.

He doesn’t mince words and says a lot of things that make a lot of sense to me. I always get something out of listening to his audio programs as I do from several people like Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy and Earl Nightingale and Les Brown and quite a few others too.

I’ve been pounding a lot of those recordings into my head lately because I really think it resonates in the subconscious mind. If I’m going to win the game of life I have to tune my inner brain waves to the right frequency for success. Rotten thinking brings rotten results.

We all can get into that mental rut and I for one am sick of staying there. Yes, my father was a bully and a loser and a pathetic excuse for a person much less a father but who’s to say his function wasn’t to show my siblings and me how NOT to live? That concept has a twist I really hadn’t thought of but it sure is interesting to think about. Maybe it’s correct.

It’s very difficult not to have anger and disdain and a lot of other ill feelings toward him and I drift in and out of all of them but the concept that I may have chosen my parents is a mind bender I’m just now able to even conceptualize. Why would anyone choose that?

The Mothership Connection is great for stuff like this. Tonight we had a fantastic guest named Kay Taylor Parker who went into a lot of things like this and it was riveting radio for the entire two hours. We got a ton of calls and the time flew by. I highly recommend a trip to her website at www.starsourceonline.com. Tell her you heard about her from me.

Have we lived before? Are there old and young souls? What’s the truth? Lots of people have lots of answers and everyone thinks they’re right. I’m trying to think it all through so I can make up my own mind. What I do know is I’m not the only one who’s wondering.