Searching For Comedy Class

Thursday May 7th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

Back to work today after my little Smokey and the Bandit style cross country gallivant yesterday. I’m glad I could help a friend but now it’s time to help myself. I’m up to about all I can handle with everything I’m working on and even one day away slows me down.

Things are actually pretty good right now but I’m still in the danger zone of unfinished projects that can blow up in my face with no payoff. Comedy classes are one of them. It’s going to take some readjustment to get them where I want them because the battle field is constantly changing due to the steady supply of weasels who seem to want to ‘teach’ one.

I’m still pretty scorched at my ex business partner and his main minion who are still on a mission to make my life miserable apparently. I saw a snide posting the guy made on an independent website and I had all I could do to not call him at 3am and insult him and his bull moose old lady he sponges off of because he’s an aging hippie who never was funny.

Does it piss me off? Absolutely. He flat out stole my idea and isn’t even replicating it in a way that makes the product look good. He’s a money grubbing loser who couldn’t think of his own idea so he had to take mine which has been successful without him since ‘93.

Ditto to my ex partner. I trusted both of those gimokes and they turned around and stuck it in my brown eye with a cattle prod. Who wouldn’t be angry about that? Too bad for me though because nobody else cares. They weren’t violated so to the rest of the world it’s no issue at all. If I go on and on about it I look like the ass even though they are the thieves.

Anger management has been a major problem for me over the years and a major reason for it is my dented can past. I’m not saying that’s right or that I have an excuse but I am at a place in my life where I can objectively look at it from afar rather than blowing my cool.

One of the main reasons I’m not farther along in show business is that I have never been good at playing the politics game. I like who I like and I don’t who I don’t and I’ve had an extremely difficult time hiding my disdain for those I deem to be either an idiot or mean.

It’s especially difficult when someone is both but that’s not the case here. These serpent bastards are not idiots at all. They’re very cunning as a matter of fact. Many times when a person has limited abilities he or she has to rely on other tactics to get over. It isn’t always a bad thing and I’ve seen some people who’ve really been able to get far with their moxie.

I’m the first person to admit when I make a mistake and I’m also not claiming to be any other thing than passionate when I go off on protecting my comedy classes. It’s one of my most positive achievements and it’s taken years and years of hard work to develop them.

I’ve sacrificed a lot of things in my life to get this far and to see some no talent balding yesterday’s news hack bastard come along and pilfer the fruits of my labor it ruffles all of my feathers and sends me into a defense mode. I won’t let anyone steal my heart and soul.

All that being said, there’s a smart way I need to handle all of this. This is THE hardest and most frustrating thing for me to deal with because I’ve blown it so many times in the past. I have a tendency to say what I feel and when it isn’t pretty it tends to make waves.

I never used to worry about it and I’d just let it rip and say what I thought unvarnished. I have no problem putting words together to make my point and if I think someone is a jerk or trying to bully me I’ll really lean into it and go for the jugular. It’s ballsy and I admit it feels good doing it…but only for a while. The backlash usually lingers for many years.

People in those situations have a long memory, especially when they’re insecure and are not able to get by with talent and ability. That tends to make them defensive and when it’s pointed out that they’re untalented blood suckers they don’t usually react to it positively.

That’s human nature and I should know it by now but many times my temper has taken over at exactly the wrong time and I’ve unleashed an atomic verbal blast or two that has caused me much ill will, especially from strangers who have never met me personally.

Had I called the dufus or sent out a scathing email I thought about it would be over and I’d feel better and have moved on. He would still have it and send it to those who think I am a wank stick and negative momentum would be building and I wouldn’t even know it.

This is SO difficult for me. Amy Winehouse has a hard time staying away from heroin. I have a hard time not driving over to this ass bag’s trailer and getting right in both of the faces of he and his wart hog she beast cloven hoofed balloon ass old lady who looks like Lily Munster after a funeral parlor gang bang and telling them to stop stealing my idea.

But I can’t do that. Well, I guess I could but why waste my energy? I used to have a lot of this angst pulsating through my veins and I couldn’t wait to let it out but now I’m older and have acquired the ability to think at least a little bit before I plow ahead into stupidity.

What’s the smart thing to do here? Make MY classes even better. I know what I can do to make class fun and I’ve been doing it for many years. I also know it takes a major dose of HARD WORK to do it and neither of those two lazy bastards will put in that effort to make it a winner in the long run. They’re bugging me now but I can outwork them both.

That’s what I need to do with all this emotion I’m feeling right now. It would feel good to let them both have it but they apparently aren’t going to stop any time soon so all I will be doing is taking time and effort away from what I’m doing, and I know I have a gift for both teaching and performing. Those two are just trying to scam a buck and suckle a teat.

I’m not perfect or without blame in life and I never claimed to be but this issue is a raw bloody scab with me. Someone has invaded my inner creative space and raped me with an axe handle with an idea I was willing to share within reason. They’re trying to suck it all up for themselves and yes I’m steamed like a giant lobster about it. I need to tiptoe gently through this minefield before I do anything stupid. There’s too much else good going on.