I didn’t do much of anything today, and I loved every minute of it. I had planned to find my tax records if nothing else, and I still haven’t. I looked in a couple of places I possibly could have placed them, but they weren’t there. It’s concerning me a little, but I’m not yet officially worried. I know I kept them and they have to be somewhere. I’ll keep looking.
I’m probably not going to owe much if anything, but this is really bothering me. There’s no excuse for it, and I’m ashamed and embarrassed. But only a little. I’ve been working at a lot of things in my life lately, and much of it is getting better. I’m starting to notice it for the first time, and I may not be the person I thought I was but I’m being the best me I can.
This whole dimensional plane is insane and imperfect and all I kept thinking of today is that none of it really matters. If I’m fat or bald or ugly or broke or unhappy, nobody really cares except me. Happiness is up to each one of us, and we do have free choice despite all the things that are imperfect about this world. We can still choose a lot of things each day.
We can choose to be satisfied or depressed or jealous or content or anything else we can imagine. It’s not like that’s anything new, but it really hit home today and I didn’t allow a thing to bother me all day long. I made up my mind before I got in the car that I was NOT going to let anyone piss me off, no matter how much they tried. Some tried, but all failed.
I wanted to count how many strangers I could make laugh out loud today and I got it up to six. Not great, but not horrible either. The hardest was the Chinese guy at the buffet but when I got him he really cracked up. Language can be a barrier, but it wasn’t a deal killer. I made up in my mind I was going to get that guy to laugh, and eventually it happened.
I was at the buffet with Lou Rugani from WLIP, film director Mark Gumbinger and his brother Mike. They’re regulars every Monday and all thought I was on the ship and out of action. When I walked in I saw genuine looks of pleasant surprise and it felt wonderful to know someone was happy to see me. We had a fantastic lunch and laughed like toddlers.
This is all hokey and cornballish in a way, but it really isn’t. What do we really have but our ability to choose? Everything else is a product of that, but choice is where it all begins and ends. I can feel I’m getting better in my choice making abilities, and it’s about time.
I had a really great day today, and didn’t do a damn thing anyone would consider to be a groundbreaking act. In fact, I did very few acts at all. I had lunch with friends, I spoke to a few more on the phone and online, and I spent most of the day being grateful for each and every little blessing I have. I’m thankful for the ship gigs, and for life itself. I feel good.
I know I have my work cut out for me, and that’s another thing that makes me feel good all over. I’m going to go out there and nail those shows on the ship. I’m going to improve by the show, and enlist the help of others to build an act that people love. Everything I am doing now is a labor of love. If nothing else, I was able to find some things in life I enjoy.
No comments:
Post a Comment