Sunday, August 29, 2010

Treading Water

Friday August 27th, 2010 - Somewhere Near Belize

   The shows tonight weren’t horrible, but they sure weren’t what they were last night. It’s a little frustrating to take a step backward, but I really don’t think many people noticed or cared in the least. It was funny enough, and quite a few drinks were sold. That’s the goal.

   I highly doubt if these gigs will ever be consistently great, but that’s ok. It’s a chance to catch up financially, and that’s crucial right about now. I’ll be able to put a healthy dent in my pile of bills by the end of this run and hopefully get back to and then pass break even.

   That’s a point I should have been years ago, and I was. Then all hell broke loose, and it got out of control. Bad breaks combined with bad decisions put me in a hole. This will be my way out, and the smart thing to do is ride this horse until it bucks me off. As long as it keeps paying, I need to keep showing up. I can make better decisions if I have a backup.

   I thought the radio gig at The Loop was going to last a lot longer than it did. It probably would have if the station hadn’t been sold, but who could predict that? I’d be set for sure by now, but it didn’t happen. I’m going to treat this completely different. It’s temporary.

   From everything I’m hearing, I can count on it for at least six months to a year. I’m not sure if I want to be out every single week, but if I could do two weeks a month I could get the best of both worlds. I could have steady income and savings now, and still develop all the other fun stuff I’m working on like comedy classes, ‘Schlitz Happened!’ and Uranus.

   I want to focus on long term wealth, even though nothing is guaranteed. If I bust ass for the next few years and save like I should, I should have a few years of a cushion saved so I won’t be living hand to mouth anymore. That’s not how life is supposed to be and it’s a brutal way to exist. I’ve been doing it so long I’m used to it, but it doesn’t mean I like it.

   I didn’t really like the shows tonight either, but I’m not worried about it. Eddie Capone didn’t like them either, and he’s been out here a lot longer than I have. He said they were much more difficult to do in the smaller lounge we’re in rather than the big rooms he has done for years. He said there was just one comedian then, and it was a lot better situation.

   Like a lot of things in life, it’s not what it was. He’s used to it being a lot better, but for me it’s a step up. He did his shows and they were fine, and then he came off stage saying how he wasn’t happy with them at all. At last, a kindred spirit. I think it’s good to not be satisfied with a show. It means a performer wants to improve, and that’s never negative.

   Sometimes things are just ok. They might not be spectacular, but they’re not horrendous either. That’s how it is with most of these gigs. I know the standards for myself are higher by far than anyone else’s are for me, so to most others I’m doing ok. I need to accept that.

   I don’t see this chapter of my life lasting very long, but who knows? I’ve never been on target before with predictions, so why start now? I better just keep showing up every day.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

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