Finally, a day to rest. Not a lot, but at least a little. I needed it. I’ve been running around in too many directions, not getting enough things done. That’s been a common story for a long time, but now I’m at my limit. I can’t pile any more activities on my too full plate.
It’s time to start chopping some out actually. One of the first will probably be the Rising Star Showcase hosting at Zanies in Chicago on Mondays. That’s a long way to drive after what’s usually a full weekend of comedy shows, then it’s the radio show on Sunday night.
Mondays should be a day off, but it’s hard to turn down money. Most comics don’t ever turn a buck on Mondays, so that’s what attracted me to it at first. Plus, I taught my classes so it made it doubly worth my time. But that was when I lived in Chicago. Now I’m in the outer reaches of Lake County and it’s a fifty mile drive through construction to get there.
Bill Gorgo lives in the city and he’s been doing a splendid job of teaching the beginner level as I knew he would. He loves it, and is a teacher by trade anyway. Plus, I tend to get a little weary having to teach rank beginners. It’s much more fun to work with experience.
I have to say those two imbeciles from yesterday really bothered me. Both of them went off on me when all I was trying to do was explain how it really is. I don’t claim to know it all, but as far as standup comedy goes I’ve earned a few stripes in my quarter of a century out here in the trenches piecing together a living. Their attitudes really hit my off button.
What the hell am I wasting my time for? I really don’t know. I always felt a need to help others, but when they not only don’t appreciate it but cop a major attitude besides, it takes any and all the fun or reward out of it. The older guy sent me his long rambling manifesto on Facebook which I won’t even read. I could see the rage in his eyes and I don’t need to.
He’s pissed off at his own life, for whatever reason. It’s more than me, but I don’t need to sit there and take it from someone I’m trying to help. He may be a dented can himself, but I’ve got my own problems. Let him make his own mistakes since he knows so much.
That whole thing really left a bad taste in my mouth and still does. What do I need to be doing instead that doesn’t put me directly in touch with clueless idiots? I wish I knew, but there seems to be an inexhaustible supply that keep showing up and I’ve had quite my fill.
I went up to Milwaukee today to have a lunch date with the woman I hesitate to call my girlfriend, and I just didn’t feel like being there either. I used to really like her for a lot of reasons, but now I don’t feel anything. She forgot my birthday in March. It hurt then, and still does. I know she‘s swamped, but I am too. I remembered her birthday. What gives?
We had lunch, and she said I wasn’t my normal self. And I wasn’t. All I wanted was to lay down and get some sleep, which I ended up doing as soon as I got home. I need to get my batteries recharged, but I don’t know how I’m going to do that. It’s back to the grind.
I’ve got work this week in Eau Claire, WI and then three nights in Michigan. I was able to manufacture a week of work by piecing together four nights in a row, but that’s getting harder and harder to do. I can see the writing on the wall, and it says “go get a stable job“.
Like what, cruise ships? That booker sent me an email today asking me to fill out avails for the rest of the year starting in mid October. I have to take it, at least for now. I’ll bank as much as I can while I can, and just learn to suck it up and live with the lifestyle for the time being. Nobody else is paying even close to what the ships are, so why not take it?
Life is not going at all like I thought it would, but it’s not necessarily bad. I never would have thought I’d be spending any time on cruise ships, but there are some perks to it that I will enjoy. Weather will be the main one, and I’m going to enjoy being away in the winter months. I’ll take advantage of the sun and hopefully that will make up for the down side.
I also have to remember that I’m still out here plugging, technically doing the thing that I love most - comedy. I’ve seen a lot of friends drop out of the business for many reasons, most of them legit. They had families to feed, or illness, and others just couldn’t hack it.
It’s rough out here, I’m not going to lie. I think about quitting, but that’s not what a real winner would do. That’s too harsh. A real winner would plot a course from where he was to where he’d want to go, and do everything it took to get where he was trying to go. That sounds a lot easier than it is, but it’s exactly the right thing to do. That’s where I am now.
I’ve struggled and worked my ass off to get to this point, and it’s not even close to what I pictured it would be. Maybe that’s part of the problem, I really didn’t picture a whole lot of anything. I just kind of thought things would work themselves out. They sure have not.
I think I still have some time to regroup, and I also feel I still have some things I want to do. Despite the reaction those two halfwits gave me at Zanies, I know I can help mentor a new performer who’s sincere about learning the craft of standup comedy. I’d hate to think all these mistakes would go to waste without them helping someone benefit from them.
Hopefully I still can myself as well. I think I have a lot of great shows still in me, and if I stay with it, good things will keep happening. The cruise ships are paying, and that’s the thing I need most right now. If I can bank some cash, my whole outlook will be brighter.
The main thing I need to remember is that each and every day I wake up is bonus time. In truth, by all accounts I should be dead right now. I’ve had four nasty car accidents that could have easily killed me in an instant. Any one of them probably should have, but I’m still here. Is there a reason? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Sometimes I do wonder.
Another thing I need to remember is most of the things I’m doing are fun things. I’m all stressed out and busy, but it’s for my own projects like doing comedy or radio shows and a whole lot of other things. Not a lot of others ever get to do that. Even though it’s not the exact picture I had in my mind, my life is still pretty good. I need to keep thinking of that.
2 comments:
I asked Dopey to post my response to him on this blog, but he won't because he's a coward. I knew his bloated ego would prevent it.
So who's the asshole here, I ask?
It's you, Joe.
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