I’m not going to lie, I’m absolutely miserable out here. I hate it, and I want to go home immediately. Whatever thrill there was about cruises or travel or exotic locales is now as far away as my lost piece of luggage. It’s gone, and I have no idea if it will ever return.
I thought about that all day today as I sat in my cabin and tried to get work done. I went down to the ship’s office to see if they could help me track down my luggage, but all they did was laugh at me and try to make bad jokes in their broken English. I could have said a lot of very nasty things, but I wisely held my tongue. I don’t need those guys angry at me.
I don’t need anyone angry at me. I just want to live my life in peace and do what I enjoy doing. I love comedy, but not in this particular venue. These people aren’t here to watch a comedy show, they’re here to be on vacation. IF a good show happens, it’s almost a fluke.
The thought crossed my mind that a lot of comedians would love to have these gigs and a whole lot more wish they had the ability to do the clean and the adult shows in the same night. This isn’t for the novice, and every night is unpredictable as to the audience’s vibe.
I know a lot of other people still would love the chance to come visit all the exotic ports we’re stopping at, and I’m trying not to be ungrateful for any of it - but I’m totally sick of it all and want to go back to Chicago and do what I was doing. That’s where my heart is.
I know I’m a picky bastard, but that’s how I am. When I was at The Loop, it was a radio job that everyone in America wanted, but that was miserable too. We had to do things the way of our program director, and I didn’t enjoy it at all. If there’s one thing I am it’s a big control freak when it comes to creativity. I’ll sacrifice a lot of things in life, but not that.
I stayed with The Loop gig and eventually it did start to get fun. Too bad it was about a month before we got fired. All in all, it was a year of misery vs. a month of fun. Was that worth it? NO. I did meet my friend Max Bumgardner and he’s a wonderful soul, but to go through a year of hell to meet him was a heavy price to pay. The money was nice though.
That’s the dilemma I’m facing. Do I suck it up and keep coming back? The money’s the only reason to say yes. It’s even more than I was making at The Loop, but the level of my misery is more too. Maybe it will even out, but as of right now I want to abandon ship by morning. I wanted to quit the radio job too, but I stayed with it even though I loathed it.
The shows tonight were actually very good. The family show went so well a large group from Florida with kids asked for my autograph and said they thought I was great. I didn’t let on I was miserable, and thanked them for their kind words. They didn’t need to know.
The good news is I’ll be off the ships for the next six weeks. I’ve got my own bookings and I’ll have a chance to let this all settle in and see if the money is indeed worth the bad side nobody sees. There has to be a happy medium with both fun and money somewhere.
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