Thursday, June 21, 2012

Gonad Gratitude

Tuesday June 19th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   I feel FANTASTIC! Considering what I was doing exactly one year ago today, it wouldn’t take much to put me in a good mood by comparison. Last year at this time I was beginning a nine day hospital nightmare after being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes that rocked my world to the core.

   I don’t even want to think about how excruciating it was, but who could ever forget? Surgery is no picnic as a rule, but surgery on one’s genitals is a fate worse than death. It’s embarrassing and scary, and I’d previously joked about wishing a similar fate on anyone who had done me wrong.

   After surviving this torture personally, I can no longer find it in my heart to wish it on anybody else - even in jest. Looking back, it seems like it happened to someone else in a different lifetime altogether. But I know it was me, and in hindsight I see how extremely fortunate I actually was.

   Apparently, I’d come dangerously close to losing my plumbing. I had gangrene on my testicles and it frightens me to even type those words. It was a lot more frightening to have to wait for the doctor to tell me how bad it actually was. There was a time when I thought I’d be able to become the oldest member of the Vienna Boys Choir and hit all of the high notes. I’m delighted I did not.

   What a helpless feeling it was to stare at the ceiling from a hospital bed wondering if I’d get to keep my family jewels I’d grown so fond of over the years. I assumed we were lifetime partners, but that partnership was in serious question. It’s hilarious now, but I wasn’t laughing a year ago.

   I’ve had some remarkable events take place in my life to say the least, and this is right up there with any of them. I’ve dabbled in talking about it on stage a few times, but I really think I should develop it into a signature bit. Not only is it unique, it can be used to both entertain and educate.

   My entire life has changed with my diabetes diagnosis. I have changed my diet drastically and have exercised more in this last year than I had in the previous twenty combined. I have seen the results I wanted, and continue to constantly learn and improve. I’ve made it a habit to be healthy.

   Fear is a tremendous motivator, as that’s what drives me to keep going. I can’t imagine having to go back to the hospital and go through anything like that ever again. Maybe I needed to have a life changing experience like that to get me to take health seriously, but I did. I’m in this for life.

   If I am able to help others get through their own difficult times, I’m all for it. That’s why I feel I’m even on this planet in the first place. If my painful experience can bring a few laughs to those who need it at a difficult time, then it was all worthwhile. I just hope I don’t go through it again.

   I’m still nowhere near out of the water with any of this yet. I have to fight every day to stay on a healthy track. I no longer crave the junk foods and sodas that helped contribute to the diabetes, but exercise is a constant effort and the whole hospital experience devastated my life financially. All I can do is my best, and I’m really trying. I feel overwhelmed and humbled, but I am alive to keep slugging and I’m grateful for the chance. And I’m extra thankful to have kept my genitals.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

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