Blastoff To Uranus!

Tuesday January 1st, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

The mothership has landed. 2008 is here and there are no more excuses. I said this was a year of major change for me and I started it off by putting in a full day’s work of preparing for a full year’s work. I have a lot of things to get to so I just got up and started doing all I could to organize my possessions and start throwing away what I don’t need. I started last year and made some major progress but now I’m working my way down to the little stuff.

I went through every piece of clothing I own and decided if I wanted to keep it or not. If I wore it in the last year and liked it I kept it. If I didn’t wear it or like it or fit into it now I put it into a pile and then I put it into some hefty bags and I will take them to a thrift store. I also put shoes, socks, underwear and towels in their proper place and it feels SO good to hit the ground organized in the new year. I won’t have to do laundry for several months.

The weather was nasty today and I didn’t even go outside. I was going to begin my plan to walk at least 30 minutes every day but the snow stopped me today. I was busy doing all the other things I said I was going to do so I didn’t sweat it. I will get going on walking as soon as they clean up the snow which should be tomorrow. I am not going to let it slide.

There are too many things to do in the next thirty days especially and I am bound to not get to a few of them. My goal is to sleep as little as possible and put in my time getting the groundwork laid for my new direction. That involves a lot of busy work but also a mental retooling which will make me have to constantly think of what my next step is going to be.

Today I thought it was important to go through my clothes and get all that ready so it is not something that will get in the way. It’s done now and I’m glad. Folding sweatshirts or twisting socks into that little inside out ball is not my idea of adventure but if I am finished with it for a couple of months it can help clear my head for the fun stuff. I’m glad I did it.

Most other people spent the day today hung over or packing Cheetos into their pie holes and overdosing on college football. I had the TV on for a while but not a lot. I wanted my subconscious mind to start germinating ideas as to how I’m going to pull this business off. I watched a few documentaries on prison life on CNBC and that was motivation enough.

I have come a long way in my life to get to this point of just being able to start now. I’m rested and ready and motivated more than I have ever been in anything I’ve ever done. It’s not a black and white plan so I will have to fill in some gray areas constantly. I will guess a lot as to what to do and sometimes I’m going to guess wrong. I am prepared to handle it.

I have to be in Pittsburgh on Thursday to work at the Funny Bone. I’m not sure when to leave. I was going to go tomorrow and have dinner with Kate Brindle in Ann Arbor. She’s a comedian and one of my favorite people but they got blasted with a blizzard and I’m not sure it won’t be smarter to stay here and get some more work done and leave Thursday. It would save a hotel room but then I’ll have to hustle it driving all day and do a show after a 500 mile drive. I never like doing that but in this case it might be the best choice to make.

Everyone’s life is full of choices and I’m making some new ones in mine. This is a scary time for most people my age because they’re going through their midlife crisis. Maybe I’m doing it too in a way but I’m not going to get a Corvette and hang out at strip clubs. I just want to build an honest business that will give me some financial security for a change. It’s time to realize I’m not the young buck anymore and time isn’t on my side like it once was.

Is that a crisis? Not really. I would have been this age anyway no matter what I chose to do with my life. My grandfather was always trying to get me to go into civil service and be miserable like he was because it was a steady check. My father and uncle fell for that scam too and they both lived lives of misery which in turn they trickled down to their children. I lived up to my grandfather’s dream and got my own job - for ONE day. That was enough.

I worked at a police station in Milwaukee third shift as a ‘clerk typist’. I had to take the exam and everything. The pay would have been $14,000 a year with benefits back in 1981. I suppose I could have socked away some cash if I was smart and probably bought a home and a nice car but the thought of working as a clerk typist on third shift made me vomit. It was not my calling in life and I remember having a hard time making it through even a day.

The sergeant who was to be my boss was a crew cutted hard ass and I knew I wouldn’t have been on his wavelength so I finished out my shift and told him I wasn’t coming back. He looked at me like I was nuts and said ‘You took the exam and everything. Who would be stupid enough to quit NOW?’ I told him ‘That would be me. Just call me stupid.’ What always makes me laugh is that the only thing I ever typed at that job was my resignation.

There have been a lot of adventures since that day to say the least. Sometimes I wish the newfound respect and desire to be good with money that’s growing now was there then. It didn’t wake up inside me until just recently. I was never motivated by money when I got in comedy or radio. I did it because I enjoyed it and knew I had to pay some dues learning all I needed to know to be good at it. Now I’ve done that and it’s time to make it all pay off.

I could have been smarter though. Had I had a saving plan I could have been really in an ideal position now because I never got married and had kids or got divorced and had a big alimony or child support bill like many people my age now have to deal with. I should be a lot better off financially than I am but I’m not and that’s just the way it is. Time to change.

The reason I’m cataloging all this in a diary is hopefully I will inspire someone else to do what I’m doing sometime in the future. Very few people have ideal conditions in life and it isn’t easy to change directions right in the middle of it and chase a new dream. I’m not the first person to chase a dream but I may well be the first one to purposely call himself ‘The King Of Uranus’. I put it on my answering machine and I have it on my license plates too.

Today is the day I start transforming myself into the new title of King of Uranus. My life has had some odd twists for sure but this one is planned. I will attempt to break barriers to places I haven’t been before. I dreamed of being a comedian and I lived it for 20 years. It’s now time to set the bar higher so I’m firing up my space ship and launching it for Uranus.