Pittsburgh Pride

Thursday January 3rd, 2008 - Pittsburgh, PA

You never forget your first and for me this was it. Pittsburgh will always have a special place in my heart because this is where I came for my first real comedy road gig. I played the Funny Bone then just like I am this week but the club was in a different location. I can still remember what a thrill it was to get booked for a whole week at a real comedy club.

The owners of this Bone are two brothers that opened one in Milwaukee in the mid ‘80s because they had a cousin there. I answered the phones, cleaned urinals, sat people for the show and was their emcee as often as I could get stage time. It was my education in show business even though at the time I didn’t realize it. Looking back now it was SO exciting.

I remember when one of the brothers asked if I wanted to go to Pittsburgh for a week. I just about jumped through the ceiling tiles with excitement. I would be driving with a local magician at the time named Kyle Nape. We’d split the gas and a room and I would be paid the grand sum of $150 for the week. PAID? I’d have walked here and paid them to do it.

The hotel we stayed in was thoroughly disgusting and I can still recall the stench of urine in the elevators like it was yesterday. It was called The Brentwood and I can’t believe I’m able to remember it all these years later but it was a dream come true to get a paid week. I was thrilled to get it but in retrospect I sure wasn’t ready. I was horrible the entire week.

I was booked as the opener and had to do 15 minutes. I thought I had that aced but not so. Some of my stuff was pretty local to Milwaukee back then and time shrinks quickly for an aspiring comic in a new town. I was in over my head and I knew it after the first show. I’m very that lucky Kyle Nape was a good guy. He helped me make it through the week.

Getting that $150 was about as proud a moment as I’ve ever had in my life. I wanted to call my father and tell him but I knew he couldn’t have cared less. I didn’t have his number anyway so it wouldn’t have mattered but I felt like I had really accomplished something to get paid for going to a far away city and telling jokes on stage. Looking back on it - I did.

I sure have come a long way since that week. I know I wasn’t worth the $150 I got paid then but there have been many times since when I’ve given shows that have been the exact opposite. Now I feel like I’M the one getting ripped off. Back then I wasn’t ready for that but now I am over ready. It brought back memories to walk in the Funny Bone club today.

This is going to be a brutal weekend because the Steelers play on Saturday night at 8pm. That’ll kill both shows and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Tonight we had fifteen people but they were nice and I easily did a strong 45 minute headliner set and didn’t even think twice. I wish I could have had myself back then see myself now. I‘d have loved it all.

No matter what happens this week I’ll be ok. I’m here to work and that’s what I’ll do all weekend. During the day I’m the King Of Uranus and at night I’m a comedy headliner. At least I’m in a nice hotel this time. It’s a beautiful Radisson with no urine smells anywhere.