Crunching Numbers

Thursday January 10th, 2008 - Wausau, WI/Lake Villa, IL

Another 526 mile round trip to work. I told myself I would stop doing these gigs so I’d be able to focus on Uranus Factory Outlet but the phone keeps ringing. This one I took as did every other one that came along. I’ve got a nice full schedule for the next few months but is that what I want? I said I didn’t but when the phone rang for this one I couldn’t say no. Old habits are hard to break I guess. I like the booker so I did it but I wish I’d said no.

This was the first night of comedy for a place that was just bought by two guys in about their mid 30’s. It used to be a martini bar apparently and now it’s a joint that has different kinds of live entertainment six nights a week. Jazz, folk, open mike singers and comedy. It may work and it may not but I am not thrilled about doing places like this. I’m burned out.

Dan Still was the opener and I’ve known Dan for many years. He’s a great guy and if he wouldn’t have been there I’d have gotten in my car and immediately driven home. I didn’t and now that it’s over I’m glad I didn’t because I got paid and even though it wasn’t fun I can always use the money. That’s why I came up here but thank goodness I don’t need it.

There’s a BIG difference between needing the money and wanting the money. I used to always be in a position of needing it so I’d drive extra far or put up with a lot more stupid circumstances than I’m willing to now. I do comedy because I enjoy it. I don’t need to get attention from strangers that bad that I force a show in a hell hole where nobody wants it.

This place wasn’t a hell hole and the owners were actually decent guys. One of them is a musician so at least he gets the performing part and how difficult it is. They had some ads in a local entertainment paper but their account rep quit and they didn’t get in so there was nobody there for comedy. They called some of their friends to try and create a last minute audience and that’s even worse. They should have just paid us out and we’d all go home.

But it’s not my job to tell them that and the booker is a good person who thinks I’m one of the funniest people she’s ever seen. Whether I am or not she THINKS I am so why do I want to screw that up by walking off stage or leaving town without doing my job? It was a situation I’ve been in all too often so I just went up and did my time and got paid and left.

On the way home I was listening to my favorite radio show ‘Coast to Coast AM’. That’s what keeps me awake on long drives and this one was tough because it was snowing really hard and roads were slick and dangerous. The topic of conversation was numerology and I was riveted by the lady who was the guest. It’s a study that’s been around for 2500 years.

She gave the formula for figuring out the ‘master number’ everyone supposedly has. It’s derived from the month, day and year a person is born. There are allegedly nine ‘life paths’ we all are on and whether it’s true or not it was fascinating to listen to through the snow. I am a ‘9’ which is a humanitarian. ‘9’s’ supposedly like to give back and like to help people more than they like to help themselves. That makes sense. I really do feel that way. I can’t say how all of this makes sense but it does. I think there’s more to life than meets the eye.

I have a couple of books on numerology I bought years ago and never read through but I did keep them when I got rid of most of my possessions last year. The subject interested me enough to keep those books and now I’m going to buzz through them a little. I’m not into all that moonbeams and star dust new age yackity yack but I don’t think this is that.

Numerology has been around for thousands of years and there is all kinds of mathematic calculations in the universe from pi to Einstein’s theories to who knows what else? I really perked up when the lady said that us ‘9’s’ are not only humanitarians but also ‘old souls.’
I have heard that term over and over again my entire life even when I was a kid. People through the years have always told me ‘You are an old soul.’ Even my father said it when I was about 10. He was talking to my grandfather and I overheard him say ‘That kid is just WAY beyond his years. I can’t get into his head.’ He was right. He never did and it hurts.

Since I had the magic formula given out by the lady I tried to figure out as many ‘master numbers’ as I could from any and everyone I could think of that I knew their birth date. If nothing else it kept me awake on the road. Every number has a meaning attached to it and allegedly birthdays on an ‘11’ or ‘22’ are very significant. Those apparently are for people who have strong personalities. Jack Nicholson is a 22 according to the lady. It made sense.

George Clinton is also a 22. His birthday is July 22nd. The lady said these people have an unbelievable charisma as a rule and if there are two more charismatic people than them I’d like to see it. Jack is a movie star for a reason. George is a star too. They just command an attention when they show up and have an unbelievably strong presence. I don’t have that.

I really do think I’m a humanitarian though. I try to help people whenever I can and I am always thinking of what I can do to contribute to the betterment of life. As I went through all the people I could think of and their birthdays to see if I could find any other ‘9’s’ there were only two. One was my good friend Drew Olson and the other was my sister Tammy.

It makes perfect sense with Drew. He’s totally a giver and I’ve known him 20 years. He has always been very generous with not only me but everyone else he meets. There isn’t a person I know who doesn’t like Drew and that’s probably why we’ve been friends for this long. He doesn’t seem like an old soul but maybe it’s true. He sure does think of others.

My sister Tammy really surprised me. We have never really gotten along and that always bothered me. For some reason I just felt she never liked me as a kid and as an adult we are not even talking. She hasn’t talked to me in going on 15 years now and I’ve made a bunch of attempts to patch it up over the years but she wants nothing to do with me ever again.

That’s her choice and I can’t change it because I’ve tried. She must be in a lot of pain to hold a grudge this long. Maybe if there are past lives I did something bad to her. I tried to sincerely apologize for anything I did in this one but whatever it is sure got to her in a bad space. I hope we can patch it up at some point but if not I tried my best. I sure can’t say if any of this number stuff is accurate or not but it sure killed the time driving home tonight.