Hannah Mania

Friday January 4th, 2008 - Pittsburgh, PA

Hannah Montana fascinates me. I couldn’t care less about the actual show itself but the mania it’s creating has my full attention. The live show is here in Pittsburgh and it was all over the local news how tickets were going for $2000 each. The Steelers are playing in an important playoff game tomorrow and it’s easier to get a Steelers ticket than one of these.

What did the Hannah Montana show plug into to create such a fever? The news stations are comparing it with Beatlemania and that’s pretty amazing company. This whole thing is a money printer and Billy Ray Cyrus of all people is sitting in the driver’s seat. I guess he’s not as big of a goober as everyone thought but I still don’t understand why this is so hot.

Sports plugs into the ‘us against them’ thing deep down in all of us. I get that. But what does a teenage girl who sings plug into besides teenage boys? Most of the kids who go see the show seem to be girls so it must be some kind of a fantasy thing but it sure is working. The last thing that plugged into teenage girls like this was Madonna back in the early ‘80s.

Young girls dressed like Madonna and wanted to be like her back then. I couldn’t figure that one out either but Madonna sure cashed in on it. But not like this. This one is amazing beyond belief. It was the lead story on every news channel tonight but it’s nation wide too. I’ve been trying to create some kind of mania for over 20 years and this kid shows me up.

She’s showing the world up. I hope she saves her money and has a nice life when it’s all over but for now that doesn’t look to be any time soon. I’m not sure if this affected any of our audience at the club tonight but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did. We had PLENTY of seats available for both shows this evening. Any scalper selling my tickets didn’t make out.

We still had fun shows though. I have a couple who saw me last time that think I am the funniest comedian they’ve ever seen. They said they’ve been watching until I came back to town so they could see me again. That’s very flattering to get that and after the first show they came up and told me I was funnier than ever. That’s the reason I keep doing comedy.

But that’s two people in Pittsburgh. Hannah Montana has THOUSANDS of people who are fighting to get tickets to see her show. Can’t I have a few HUNDRED fighting for me? It’s feast or famine and I don’t know what else to do except keep doing what I’m doing as long as I can while I work on Uranus Factory Outlet. That is my main hope for security.

Every performer dreams of having a big run at some point. It’s never forever but it does add credibility forever. All the rock bands of the ‘70s and now ‘80s tour car shows for the rest of their lives because they had a few hits on the radio. Even a few comedians get their chance to tour forever because they had some time in the spotlight. That big run is crucial.

Tommy Chong still tours and so does Jimmie Walker. They still get booked because of a career they had 30 years ago. I don’t have that. Nobody cares that I was on a few morning radio shows in the ‘90s. That’s why I’m creating ‘The King Of Uranus‘. I need a gimmick.