Opposite Reactions

Wednesday January 23rd, 2008 - Green Bay, WI

I can’t figure life out. I got kicked off the Bob and Tom radio show a while back for my now infamous Tuscaloosa, AL comedy road story that was printed in the book ‘I Killed’. They physically removed me from the building and I am persona non grata to this day. If I had known it would have caused that much of a stink I would have shut my big fat mouth.

What really sticks in my craw is that they’re the ones that asked me to tell it. I told it on the air and didn’t swear once even though there was a lot of swearing in the actual story. I was pretty proud of myself for being able to skirt the actual words on short notice and still be able to get the vibe across but it sure put everyone in a tizzy. I still have no idea why.

This morning I was a guest on WAPL ‘The Rockin’ Apple’ in Appleton, WI and I was a little gun shy when they asked me to tell it again on the Rick and Len show. Apparently it was Rick’s favorite story in the book and he’s been waiting a couple of years to meet me. I was very flattered to hear him say it on the air and I could feel his sincerity. He meant it.

They asked me to tell the story and again I dodged all the dangerous parts but still told it well enough to get the point across and they went nuts. It’s amazing how I was able to get two completely polarized reactions to exactly the same story. Bob and Tom threw me out on the street and Rick and Len treated me like I was a comedy hero. I wish I could find an in between point somewhere but I’ve always had trouble doing that. I polarize people.

I’m getting a little tired of it but I don’t know what I can do to change it. I’m just myself but that isn’t always good enough for some people. The ones that don’t like me have been very vocal about it over the years and I guess that’s they’re right but when it’s somebody I didn’t do anything to it puzzles me. I have a few people I’m not fond of but I tend to leave them alone rather than look for confrontation. That’s not always what I get back in return.

Bob and Tom were really mean to me and I didn’t intentionally do anything to cause the reaction I got. They asked me to tell the story so I did. That set off their fury and I had my head handed to me on the way out of the building. I still don’t know why they had to do it like that but they did. They said they’d NEVER have me back and that’s a little bit harsh.

Bob and Brian and Dave Luczak in Milwaukee treat me the same way. They won’t ever have me on their show even if I was the hottest thing in show business and I can’t seem to get them to change their minds. I have tried to apologize and make nice and shake a hand or kiss an ass or whatever I need to do to end the war but none of them will speak to me.

My sister Tammy is the same way. She has a major bug up her bung hole and has blown me off for almost fifteen years. That blows my mind. I can’t believe I can get anyone that upset but I seem to have done it quite nicely in these cases even though I didn’t mean to. I try to be a nice person and think of others and do all the things we’re supposed to do but I still get people that don’t see it that way and it’s almost funny to see how negative a way they react. I don’t claim to be perfect but at least I think I should have a second chance.

But that’s probably not going to happen any time soon. Bob and Tom don’t need me for their show and I realize that. Neither does Bob and Brian or Dave Luczak. There are a lot of comedians and a lot of radio shows and nobody fits with all of them. Comedy clubs are the same way. Nobody works all the clubs in the country and I have a couple of those too.

One of them happens to be here in the Green Bay area. It’s called Skyline Comedy Café and it’s in Appleton. By all accounts it’s a great club with packed audiences and I’ve only heard wonderful things about it but for whatever reason I will never get a chance to work it. The owners for some reason have decided that I am the antichrist and that’s it for me.

The funny thing is I’ve never even met those guys. I tried writing a letter and last year when I was in Las Vegas one of the owners was there and I started to walk over to at least shake his hand and meet him personally but he turned on his heels and walked away from me and left me standing there. Again, it made me laugh to think I could be THAT hated.

He didn’t have to book me but I wanted a chance to stand belly to belly and give him an opportunity to tell me to my face what it is that upset him so much. I’d do a super job for him at his club but I guess I’m not going to get the chance. I think it’s all insane but that’s not my call. Those people have their reasons and even though I tried to correct it I can’t.

At least I know in my heart I tried to make it right with all of them. From my father who was nothing but mean to JD of the Comedy Café in Milwaukee who had a ‘benefit’ when I had my car accident in 1993 and kept all the money for himself. I voiced my opinions to each of them and when there was a disagreement I made it known but they didn’t budge.

What else can I do but keep going? Wasting time on all these people is taking time from what I’m good at. For every Bob and Tom who think I’m a butt head I’ve got a big list of people who think I’m hilarious like the Rick and Len show and WLS in Chicago and Jim Stone and Double T in Rockford and The D List at ESPN Radio in Milwaukee and more.

Rick and Len couldn’t have been any nicer today. They loved the story and treated both of us as if we were big stars and that’s how it’s supposed to be We thanked them and then headed over to Lambeau Field to take a tour of the Packer Hall Of Fame. I hadn’t seen the new one since they remodeled it and this was the perfect week to do that. It was empty.

The show at the Oneida Casino was very good. My name and picture was on all the ads and it felt really good to know I was part of the plan for once other than ‘Hey, can you do a few minutes over here while we mop up after the dog act?’ They made us feel important and who doesn’t enjoy that? Mike Weldon was the opening act and he felt the same way.

Mike is a very nice guy and is my age. He does impressions and had to get out of it for a while because of a small little thing called…cancer. Wow. I thought I had a few problems but when he told me that I clammed right up. He’s doing well now and we got along great the whole time. He loved the Hall of Fame and we went to Chili John’s for lunch and that was a treat for both of us. Bob and Tom don’t know what they’re missing. I’m a nice guy.