Just An Asterisk

Tuesday April 22nd, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

Feeling a lot better today. Whatever lung rot virus I had seems to have run its course so hopefully I can move on and get something done. This month is almost over and I haven’t done nearly as much as I hoped I would. Life gets in the way. And then it’s over too soon.

I read today where a soul singer named Al Wilson died yesterday at 68 of kidney failure in Pomona, CA. He had a number one hit in 1974 that topped the charts for a single week. I’d never heard of Al or his hit song and that’s what made me start thinking of all this.

In 1974 I’m sure Al was doing pretty well. He probably had a record deal and his career was starting to take off and things looked peachy. He had a closet full of silk shirts with a collar so wide he could use it as a glider and a Cadillac with gangster white wall tires. He probably thought he was the next big thing in show business and then life got in the way.

Now it’s 2008 and his kidneys gave out and his name is an asterisk in the book of music history. What did he do for those missing 34 years? Was he bitter? Did he build his life in other areas? Maybe there’s an Al Wilson orphanage somewhere that helps needy children. Was Al a good husband and father? Did he like to grow his own spices or cook barbecue?

Life isn’t easy and I’m sure Al had his own problems to deal with even without the ones with his kidneys. There are a lot of people who set out to get to the top of their field and it might even happen like it did for Al Wilson even though it was only for one single week.

Is there anyone that goes through a whole life doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing? That’s a difficult task. In many ways I feel like I’ve wasted my life only because it has taken so long to figure it out and get over a lot of humps I had to overcome up front.

I missed out on a childhood and a college education all that goes with it and a family on many levels both growing up and being the head of one now. That’s a lot of life to miss. I won’t ever get any of it back either. There’s nothing I can do about it so I should shut up.

All of that stuff didn’t feel like it was in the cards for me though. Even as a kid I felt my life was different than most others and looking back on it I was right. Yes I’m sure I could have made a few other choices in life and had slightly different results but it still wouldn’t make me ‘normal’. The truth is I never really found a place to fit in and build a full life.

I scraped together what I could and did use my given talents in entertainment to eke out a living both in comedy and in radio but like Al Wilson I’m just an asterisk. I had a small taste of the big pie but if my kidneys failed today most of the people who heard the news would wrinkle their faces just like I did when I heard about Al Wilson and say ‘WHO?’

Life sure does keep most of us humble. I am not feeling cocky at all today and I hope to make the most of whatever time I have left. Whether anyone knows me or not when I die isn’t the issue right now. I hope I still have some living to do and I need to squeeze it out.