Quarterly Questions

Monday March 31st, 2008 - Chicago, IL

It’s the end of the first quarter already. I guess it’s time to take down the Christmas tree. Where did these three months go? I’ve made progress in some ways but in others I’m just letting life wander away like a new puppy without a leash. I can’t do everything I want to but I could do more. Rather than whine about it I need to suck it up and keep improving.

I thought about these last few months on my train ride downtown to be on WLS. That’s been one of the highlights of the year and it continues to go well. We had another halfway decent show today and it was again very fun. The flow of banter between us is improving every week and that’s what will make this bit successful but I need to improve my part.

I’m a pretty good ad libber and I’ve been depending on that which isn’t how to do it for the long run. I need to delve more into the stories we’re talking about and write jokes. It’s a discipline and a time eater and one thing I don’t have much of these days is extra time.

I don’t want to let Jerry down or the other guys on the panel either. In my mind I can be a lot better and I will make it a point to keep improving. I’m also finishing up my writing course with Gene Perret so that will free up some time and hopefully help me keep sharp for the rest of the year. I never want to get lazy because that’s when all the growth stops.

Another positive in the last few months has been working at Zanies hosting the Monday night new talent showcase shows. We were off tonight but I still went to Zanies to be on a Chicago Comedy All Stars show with Jim McHugh. He’s trying to rebuild the concept of a group show and I’m all for it. There wasn’t a large crowd but they were good laughers.

Jim is a few years older than me and a very good comedian. I remember seeing him way back when I first started to come to Chicago from Milwaukee back in the mid ‘80s and he was funny then and still is. He is also trying to market himself and find his own big break.

For whatever reason neither one of us have been great at marketing ourselves and I hate to say it but we’re both underachieving as far as where we should be in the business. Both of us have had our share of run ins with idiots and neither of us are very good politicians.

Those ingredients spell disaster as far as building a career in show business and we both know it. We talked very openly about it on our ride down to the show but at least we have a realistic grasp on where we are and why we’re there. That’s the first step to changing it.

Jim has a wife and kids and a mortgage and it’s not as easy for him to take chances as it is for me. He is a big fan of the Uranus idea and he got in my face and told me to go do it. He’s right. I really do need to make that a priority but I have so many other things going.

What are the things I can afford to drop from my life or at least postpone? I have a hard time deciding that and sometimes I need someone outside my skin to help me look at how I should go about solving my time management issue. It’s not going away any time soon.

Unless of course I get shot or have a heart attack and croak suddenly. Then all of it is of no consequence whatsoever. That’s what bothers me so much. If none of this is important in the long run why is any of it so important to me now? I don’t know but it is. I feel like I have an obligation to finish what I say I’m going to start and I want to make good on that.

This life is never going to be perfect and as long as I’m here there will be a lot of regrets I’ll never be able to change. The easy way out would be to suck a bullet and start over in a new world or if there isn’t one just end the pain of the one I’m in now. But I need closure.

I don’t know why I came from where I came from but it’s always been extra difficult on just about every level for me in everything I do. Maybe I chose this because I have an ego so out of control that I’ll only be satisfied if I overcome gigantic odds and nothing less.

If that’s the case I got exactly what I wanted. I’ve always faced gigantic odds but so far it hasn’t killed me and I’m still alive and still doing what I enjoy. I want to now make a new path and achieve financial independence and business success. Starting at this latter stage of my life isn’t going to be any easier but it’s only been now that I feel I’m ready to do it.

Others throughout history have overcome bigger odds than mine and done it with less at their disposal and it’s 100% my fault if I don’t live my dreams at this point. The world as we know it is insane in many ways but also has more to offer than ever before. I have BIG opportunity through the internet and my connections to plug in and make my life explode.

These kinds of thoughts have been flying through my head for the last few days and I’m glad they are. I want to improve and grow and make all my ideas come to life from only a spark of an idea and that will take a major effort. I know I can do better than I‘m doing.

My writing partner Rick Kaempfer emailed me today and I told him I would love to get back to work on our movie script. He said he was thinking the same thing and that’s what I needed to hear. That has been sitting and festering too long and it bothers me very much. I want to get it FINISHED and in motion because when it sells it will open a lot of doors.

It’s a lot better to have these kinds of thoughts weekly and monthly and quarterly and at the end of the year rather than have it only once at the end of my life so I can look back at all the damage I caused and not be able to do anything about it. That’s what my father had to do. Whether he felt guilty or not he didn’t have any plans in his life and now it’s over.

Mine could be over at any time and I know that but if I get to live as long as both he and his father did I have 24 more years ahead of me. What could I do in that time? A LOT. To not use the rest of my time productively would be a complete waste and I don’t want that.

I’ve got books to write and CD projects to record and release and a comedy class online to create and all that has to come between creating my kingdom for the King of Uranus. I have funny things to write and buy and products to develop and make and sell and laughs to get from people who really need it. What am I waiting for? I’ve got a lot of work to do!