Mail Dominance

Wednesday April 16th, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

Beautiful weather today. Not too many things put me in a better mood than a sunny day that’s warm and today was about as perfect as it gets. I gladly drove to meet Marc Schultz and Tim Walkoe for lunch with my windows down and my radio up. Gas is expensive but it’s worth it to drive on a day like today. This is what I loved about living in Los Angeles.

It’s always great to have lunch with Marc but Tim Walkoe is flat out one of the funniest humans who has ever walked the earth. He has a quick rhythm of speaking just like me so when we get together it’s machine gun freestyle and Marc was laughing so hard he barely was able to finish his meal. I was laughing too because when Tim gets going he’s on fire.

We had a lot of laughs during our meal but we also were discussing what’s next for the comedy business as we know it. Tim has been doing more and more cruise ships and just did a big showcase down in Florida. He’s a guitar act when he needs to be and that totally helps in that arena. Straight monologists like me have to be extra strong to get hired there.

Marc has been a booker of corporate events for many years and he said there’s always a fluctuation in that market depending on the economy. He doesn’t only book comedians so he has a cushion in what he can sell but he said that we are definitely in a down cycle now but it will come back up again. I am working for him tomorrow night as a matter of fact.

After lunch I went into Chicago to get my mail. I’ve been waiting for a package that had finally come in and I didn’t want to wait any longer. I won a mail order course a few days ago on Ebay by a famous mail order entrepreneur named E. Joseph Cossman. I remember his infomercials years ago but I never popped for his course. I think it was around $350.

My winning bid was $59.95 and with $15 postage I now own it free and clear for $75. It was a great buy and looking over the course I know I’ll get way more than $75 out of it as I already have a mini course from him that I paid $30 for and that was fantastic. This is an expanded version of that and just by looking through it I can tell I got my money‘s worth.

Melvin Powers is another mail order millionaire who has a great course I took way back when and have since gotten to know him personally. He lives in Hollywood and has been very generous with his time giving me tips on how I can market my comedy class through a mail order course. He told me that E. Joseph Cossman was one of the all time winners.

I sent Melvin an email today asking him to help me with the Uranus idea. I’m not stupid enough to think I can do this myself and I am going to call in every favor I can. I have not asked for many favors in life from anyone but this is a time when I am choosing my spots.

People ask me for help in comedy and I always try to give it whenever I can. This is the same thing and I know what I’m asking isn’t out of line at all. Melvin will tell me what to start with and what books to read and how to get this thing to be a reality. I will listen to a guy like him because he’s made millions over the years. He’s a huge success in that field.

I’ve been interested in mail order for about as long as I can remember and the more I’m studying it the more I feel I have what it takes to be a huge success too. There needs to be a workable mix of several ingredients and I have at least some of them that are required to win at this game. One of them is showmanship and that’s something I understand well.

I’ve always been able to come up with a clever slogan or product idea and I totally love doing it. I also think I can handle the job of writing funny and interesting ad copy that will sell my products. Mail order has changed because of the internet but the principles are the same they’ve always been. The sales ‘circular’ is what sells the product - whatever it is.

Melvin’s book and tapes talked about that as did E. Joseph Cossman’s course I already own. This is his master course and I’m sure a lot of the same things will be covered but it still was worth it to me to invest in it so I can immerse myself in it and start to learn from a true master even though he passed away a few years ago. This is my chance to succeed.

Desire is also a major ingredient for success in mail order. I guess it is in life too but for mail order it’s extra important because it requires so much individual effort. There isn’t a place to go to start as a clerk and work up the ladder like with a regular job. This requires a whole different attitude and quite frankly it can be a little scary to take on by one’s self.

I have been putting my dream off way too long. I have been tiptoeing through this and it has been good so far but now I have to kick it in gear and dive in the pool. I am now in an educational mode and need to pack my brain with as much knowledge as I can about what I have chosen to pursue. I need to then take what I’ve learned and parlay that into success.

I also won another very famous mail order success story book on Ebay called ‘The Lazy Man’s Way To Riches.’ That was written by a guy named Joe Karbo who used mail order to sell millions of dollars worth of books in the ‘70s. He’s also passed away now and I’ve been looking for a copy of that book for years. He only sold it through the mail back then.

I now have almost more than I can handle to do in the next few months but I’m going to find a way to handle it. This is my prime success time and I don’t want to waste a minute of it. I am going to risk it all and make something happen and not a lot of people have the guts to roll those dice. Even I’ve been too hesitant in my eyes so now it’s time to DO it.

This doesn’t change the fact that I need to keep working on my movie script either. I am going to start on that and keep going until that’s finished and I also have comedy gigs that I need to book so I can feed that nasty habit of eating I’ve acquired over the years. It’s not going to go away any time soon so that’s another reason I need to keep earning money.

I can feel the wheels starting to turn and I love it. I’m finally starting to DO something I have thought about and dreamed about but now it’s starting to slowly become reality. It’s like Dr. Frankenstein watching the monster start to twitch for the first time. It’s starting to come to life and that’s what the whole idea was in the first place. I am the King of Uranus and this idea is so stupid it will succeed. It already has. But now I need it to earn money.