Karma Bank Dividends

Monday April 7th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

The last thing I felt like trying to do today was be funny. This whole back and forth high school game of ‘he said-she said’ is getting to be a huge pain in the ass. After thinking for a day I decided to send out an email to all the people on the list saying that I am no longer involved with my ex business partner and friend and his new ’teacher’ in any capacity.

It’s all a big ugly mess and it’s like a lover’s quarrel minus the lover part. And the tiny detail of his embezzling several thousand dollars out of our business didn’t help to soothe any of the pain. This is all insane and I want to get away from it so I wrote a long email.

I decided that’s the best way to do it so I did. It’s like having gum in your hair. The only way to get rid of it is to shave the head. It looks stupid for a couple of weeks and then hair grows back and it’s forgotten. Hopefully the same happens here. I shaved my head today.

I read a quote from James Brown that said ’It’s much easier for me to say good bye than it is hello. I’m used to it.’ He was also a major dented can and his mother abandoned him as a baby too. He had the reputation of being crazy and hard to work with but his body of work and genius speaks for itself. I have some similarities with James minus the success.

Facing these kinds of situations are unpleasant but not unprecedented. I’ve been in these more than I ever wanted to but in the end it’s usually for the better. I have NO time for the wankers of the world and if I decide I want to amputate someone from my life I will think it over and make a decision and if they’re gone they’re GONE. It’s less painful that way.

The initial pain of the situation will hurt and then the scab heals over and by then I will be on to something and someone else and I don’t even miss them. I collect good people in my life and I’ve got a lot of those. I appreciate them and we get along great and have for a lot of years. The ones that I clash with I don’t even think about after a while. Is it wrong?

I don’t know but that’s how I do it. We’re all different and my warped brain works that way. It seems right to me. I know I have the reputation with some as being crazy and hard to work with just like James Brown but on a much smaller scale my body of work speaks for itself. I’ve done many things in my life that a lot of others have only dreamed about.

I’ve never said I was perfect and don’t say it now. I’m fighting every day to keep above water financially and mentally and in all other aspects of life. I haven’t had it easy and to have to deal with this kind of B.S. makes it even harder. I think it’s all a waste of energy. The bottom line is I have lost a long time friend over this but he stole money and it hurts.

But was he really my friend in the first place? It doesn’t seem like that now. His life has spun out of control and his toilet overflowed and I got splattered with it. He is down and out and chooses to be because he’s a lazy rich kid who never had to struggle in his life up to this point and doesn’t know how to handle it. Stealing my money was his choice and it doesn’t sit well with me so I chose to suck it up and cut him out of my life. It all rots ass.

With all that raw sewage floating around in the brain tank who would want to be funny? I didn’t really have a choice because today was my usual spot on Jerry Agar’s show doing jokes with Jerry’s Kidders. I didn’t want to bring the guys down so I just tried to show up and smile and play along like nothing was wrong. Why be a downer to those guys too?

This was a pretty slow news week and we didn’t really have that much going in. There are three of us and some weeks are hotter than others and on any given week one of us is hotter than the others. It’s a random thing and there really isn’t a way to plan for it. It’s as random as a sports team. On some days a player just get hot and that’s the one to pass to.

Charlton Heston died yesterday and we hadn’t prepared for it but we added some of his famous movie lines to our bits and cracked ourselves up so we decided to try it on the air. We went in the studio and it was probably our best show ever. If not it was right up there and we were all on point and were ad libbing and cracking off one liners out of nowhere.

This is exactly what I needed as a pick me up today. Listeners had no idea I was feeling about as low as a worm’s weenie and neither did the guys on the show. Hopefully it was the karma bank paying me back a little for the good vibes I have always tried to put out in the world but haven’t always gotten credit for. If I have ever needed it today was the day.

The train ride back home was pretty miserable as my phone kept ringing with people on the email list asking me to tell them what happened and I didn’t want to deal with it so for the last half of the trip I turned it off and tried to focus on the hot show we did on the air.

I was scheduled tonight to host a show at Zanies for rooftopcomedy.com and that was a show I would have preferred not to do. It was a college competition and I did the last one they had in town and it wasn’t easy. I’m not who they want to see but I am a good host so I did it for the money. Tonight I would have preferred to forego the cash and just rest up.

Not the case. I fought brutal traffic on the Edens expressway which is now in full torture mode for construction season and I ended up cutting it close yet again. The woman who is in charge from rooftopcomedy.com is a sweetheart though and she requested me so again I didn’t let on that I wasn’t in the greatest of moods. I smiled and asked how I could help.

The club was full and again my card worked at the karma ATM. For whatever reason it was a fantastic crowd and they were right there the whole night. I had to do nothing more than bring up contestant after contestant and there were no glitches, hitches or bumps for the whole show. Afterward the lady said it was the best show they’ve had in the contest.

She gave me a big hug and said I was wonderful when in reality it was a night off. All I had to do was go up and keep the show running which is easy when it’s like this. I needed this tonight like I needed the radio show this morning. It won’t make the other situation at hand go away and I know that but at least it’s a shot in the arm of endorphins to counter a downer mode that was taking me over from an ugly situation that never should have been in the first place. Thanks to the karma bank for making two big withdrawals in my name.