Three Big Pigs

Sunday July 6th, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

I am in a danger zone of anger and I have to think it through slowly before I make a big mistake and do something really stupid. I can see very clearly why the Mafia has to take a few people out every once in a while. If I was a mobster this would be the time to whack.

The insanity with my embezzling ex business partner just will not go away. I received a few emails today from some of my ex comedy students telling me he and two other idiots are going behind my back and starting their own classes, website and everything I started.

Maybe they’re doing it to infuriate me and quite frankly it totally does. These three have suckled my giving nature teat dry and are now trying to stick it in my face and I don’t like it one bit. They are poking the tiger and I’m not sure they realize just how much I can hurt them. I don’t want to and I have tried to be reasonable but they continue to provoke me.

Of course my first reaction would be to grab an axe handle and pound lumps the size of golf balls into their maggoty skulls. I’m not a violent person by nature but if you torture a puppy enough eventually it’s going to snap back at some point. I’m to that point. It’s not a game anymore. I have worked way too hard to develop my classes and I won’t let this go.

The two lowlifes he’s working with are hack comedians who are doing it to make a fast buck and cash in on my hard work. I helped both of them in the past because they came to me and I was nice when in looking back was a huge mistake. They totally took advantage of my giving nature and that’s what really hurts the most. I teach because I love to teach.

These three are looking to scam newbies who have no clue where to go or what to do. It all makes me puke and I wish it would stop but wishing is for fairies and elves. In the real world wishing wells don’t exist so I have to come up with a solution that I can live with.

One thing I happen to know is that Mr. Embezzler hasn’t filed any tax returns for years. He lived in Australia part time working for his father and he didn’t file any taxes there as well. He always laughed about it and since I’ve had my own tax issues I didn’t join him.

I hadn’t filed my own taxes for a few years and when I had to testify in the bank robbery trial that was a significant point of argument for the defense. I got it taken care of and still am current even though I haven’t filed my 2007 taxes yet. I did file an extension and will take care of it by the deadline as I have done for many years since this has been an issue.

I have my receipts and keep track of my mileage and expenses and am accurate because I just don’t want to have those kinds of problems. The government has unlimited time and funds and they’ll catch a scammer. I found that out with the whole bank robbery ordeal.

These three weasels are scammers. Period. They don’t care who they hurt and are trying to cash in on my passionate work of the last fifteen years. Can I stop them? No, not really. Unfortunately nobody cares about me or my years but the IRS cares about filing a return.

I can’t speak for the two ‘comics’ but the embezzler is in a world of hurt if he was to be audited. He’s already in hock fifty grand to credit card debt and is in financial quicksand as it is. Maybe this is why he’s trying to run classes but that’s not my fault. It’s not right.

He had never even been in a comedy club before he met me and has always been one to try the easy quick solution to anything. This is probably why Amway has so many victims and he was always one to sign up for all those multi level scams too. This is not his dream but it is mine and I just want them to go away without incident but I doubt that’s possible.

This is getting a lot uglier than it should and emotions can flare very easily. It’s a nasty situation because we were partners in business for years and were trying to build all of it up and now we’re going against each other and know where all our weak spots are. It’s a professional divorce and I’m sure it’s not the first time it’s happened but it’s extra tricky.

He ran my website and my class list and has kept all those names and not given them to my new web person Shelley. He’s written to her telling her what an ass I am to work with and is just being nothing short of a bitch. The other two imbeciles are following because I started something that looks like easy money when in reality it’s never been about that.

I never spent one dime of the money we made and always rolled it over on materials or books and tapes or whatever was needed to keep improving the classes. That’s why when he drained the bank account it threw me for such a loop. I totally did not expect it at all.

What do I do about it now? I would love nothing more than to see the three of them just go away and leave me alone. Let them scam someone else somewhere else. That’s not the reality and it looks like they’re here to stay. They’ve got a website and a logo and they say ‘has taught at Zanies’ by each of their names. Who LET them teach at Zanies? Stupid me.

Neither one of them were good at it but I did let them sit in on a few classes and offer to let them join in and give input. They didn’t really ‘teach’, they just kind of talked about a few things to new people who had never experienced it before. They didn’t plan lessons.

This is my baby and I feel raped by all three of them. I poured my heart and soul and all of my passion into this project and to see it bastardized and stolen by three mopes who’ve done NOTHING to deserve it really sets me off. I feel what Little Richard probably felt as he heard Pat Boone’s version of ‘Tutti Frutti’ on the radio for the first time. He hated it.

Well I feel that way here too. They are trying to kidnap my baby and I feel helpless as to what I can do to protect it. I think it’s a matter of marketing at this point. Most people just don’t care who started this or anything else. White Castle hamburger restaurants started in 1921 and McDonald’s didn’t start until 1955 but who’s more well known to the public?

There are no guarantees that my classes will be well attended or well known or anything other than what they are if I don’t get off my ass and out market those three backstabbers but that’s not my forte and never was. I spent my life acquiring the skills I’m teaching.