Auction Action...Again

Wednesday September 3rd, 2008 - Waukegan, IL

It was the 3rd of September….a day I’ll always remember…‘cause that was the day… that my Honda died. Actually it didn’t die but I wanted to make the joke about the song lyrics. Just when I thought my car situation was stable I took another trip to the auction.

My little inner voice was calling me and I’ve been listening to it whenever I can lately. Usually when I do that good things follow and today was no exception. I found a fantastic deal on a SUPER clean Toyota Camry and I bought it. Well, I charged it. I used to have a slush fund but my dentist now has that. This was too sweet a deal though. I had to do it.

It had all the markings of the great deals I’ve gotten before. It is a one owner title and it wasn’t listed on the website auction list. They must have just gotten it in and slipped it in for tonight’s auction. Wednesdays are usually a little slower and I was able to snap it up.

I had NO plans at all to go to the auction today but I was out buying the mike and stand for the comedy show at the restaurant near my house tomorrow night when I felt the urge to go to the auction in Waukegan for some reason. I thought it was weird but I still did it.

There is a $200 auction fee to even look at the cars but it’s refundable if no purchase is made. I took a lap and saw the Toyota and immediately knew it was for me. I wish I had a better explanation on how I knew all this but I really did. I sat in it and started it up and it just screamed out to me that I needed to buy it. I’ve had that exact same feeling before.

I had it when I bought this Honda I’m driving now. This was also a one owner title with low miles and it had my name on it. I knew I’d get it and I did. It’s been super reliable but my friend Max’s wife took out the passenger’s side with her van and crunched it up pretty good. It’s still runs fine but I didn’t want to have it fixed because it’s not worth it to me.

There were a few patches of surface rust and it’s a ‘94 so why put money into it? Max’s wife didn’t do it on purpose and she felt horrible about it so I wasn’t going to drag in the insurance company on it and make their rates go up. I could have but I cut them a break.

I’m glad I did because that car still more than served it’s purpose. I put 37,000 trouble free miles on it and all I stuck in it was a brake job and tires. It still purrs and I just took it on the road to Dallas and Arkansas two weeks ago. I’ll turn around and run it through the auction again and I know someone will snap it up even with the dents. It’s a great runner.

The Honda was clean when I bought it but this Toyota is IMMACULATE. It’s rust free and dent free and someone really took care of it. It’s got 150,000 miles on it but it doesn’t look like it at all. The Honda has 154,000 now - with dents. This is an upgrade so I did it.

Having a reliable car is a great feeling. I’ve never heard of anyone getting stung buying a Toyota Camry and if I do I’ll have a great story. I would have kept the Honda but this is going to be much better for the long run. I plan to keep it for a really long time. Really.

The rest of the day was a bit too bumpy for me. I am becoming the King of Distractions rather than the King of Uranus. I planned on contacting all the bookers I made a list to get to yesterday but things ‘just got away’. Again. Whether those ‘things’ are legit or not I’m still off track of where I want to be. This has gone on for years now and I’m still doing it.

My emails are piling up and so are phone calls and I’m glad I did laundry and got all of that out of the way. I feel like a plate spinner running around on stage while all my sticks are wobbling and I don’t know which ones to get going again. It’s hard to get a grip on it.

I’m still glad I bought the car though. That will pay off in the long run. I’ll get rid of all my other tin cans and then make sure the new one is running and hopefully that won’t be an issue for a long time. There’s enough other stuff to keep me occupied during my days.

One of them is the show tomorrow night at a place called The Blackthorn Grille. It’s in Lake Villa and about a three block walk from where I live. They want to try comedy for a night and see how it works and I am the host of the show and have lined up other comics.

My dream has never been to run or book shows but this is worth it since it’s so close to me. They want to run open mike comedy on Thursdays and I will gladly host it if I am in town. It will be a chance for my students to get some stage time and I can polish new bits.

I did receive a call from my friend Joey Callahan in Philadelphia that really cheered me up. He called before I went to the auction and I was in a pissy mood because the situation with my ex business partner and his two imps just will NOT go away. They are stealing a part of my soul by trying to do classes at other clubs and they are getting on my last nerve.

Those classes are like my children. Having them taken from me makes me angry and it hurts. I’ve nurtured them and raised them up from nothing and poured my heart and soul and everything I have into them and to see this happen stings to my deepest inner core. It hurts even worse to have it done by three evil stooges who I once thought were friends.

I am very very careful with how I use the word ‘hate’ because I think it’s a strong word. I tell my students to use it sparingly and I try to also but these terdwinkles are getting me as close to it as I think I’ve ever been. I feel an inner rage toward all of them because they are willingly and knowingly stealing something I have worked my whole life to perfect.

If I see any one of those three goof bags I can’t guarantee I won’t pick up a baseball bat and use their pumpkin heads for batting practice like DeNiro did in ‘The Untouchables‘. I really have never been a violent guy but this is raw and ugly and it pushes all my buttons.

Joey is one guy who can calm me down. He’s from Philly and has a tough exterior but I have always seen his inner soft side. He’s a true comic and a wonderful soul and he calms me down with sage wisdom when I really need it. Today was a day I really needed it and I was thrilled to hear his voice. He gets it. He teaches his own classes in Philly but that’s ok because HE’S A REAL COMIC. Not like these other twerps who just want easy money.