One More Quarter

Tuesday September 30th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

It’s the end of the third quarter of 2008 and I have no idea if I’ve accomplished anything yet. I thought I had a plan going into the year but there have been so many distractions it’s taken me completely off track. Sports games are won in the fourth quarter so this is where I need to suck it up and make it happen. I’ve got three months to make this year a winner.

What would do it? In my eyes I really need to get my website for Uranus Factory Outlet up and running and functional. That’s been on the back burner too long but there’ve been all kinds of reasons for it. Legitimate or not doesn’t matter. I just haven’t gotten it done.

Another project I want to accomplish before the end of the year is getting my classes up on a website and available to be downloaded by students all over the world. Doing it how I’ve been doing it is antiquated. If I don‘t get with the times I won‘t be able to compete.

The pain of dealing with my ex-partner and his pair of backstabbing henchmen has only been rivaled by my dental debacle. Both have cost me time and money and have hurt a lot on many levels. It’s hard not to be bitter at those three lowlife mutts and I have to admit it has really pushed all my buttons but they’re not going to stop just because I want them to.

Nobody else but me cares about any of this and I know that. The only one who may care even a little about my teeth problems is my dentist. It will probably buy him a swimming pool or a nice vacation with his family somewhere. Other than that it’s money I’ve lost.

Getting on the Craig Ferguson show will be a major personal victory for me. It will feel like I’ve accomplished at least a little something as a comedian and it will make my years of struggle seem justified if only for a day. I don’t expect it to make me happy but it’s one step closer to whatever it is success might actually be. I guess it would help if I knew that.

I really don’t know at this point what ‘success’ is. When I started I dreamed about being a nationally touring headliner and I thought that would be ‘it’. I did that and it was fun but it sure wasn’t the be all end all. Now I think I need to change my goal and start chasing it.

I want to be a financially secure world famous multi-millionaire mail order entrepreneur who also does comedy and helps people too. Being a philanthropist is a whole lot easier if creditors aren’t calling every day and I need to know how to make money first before I’m able to give it away to those less fortunate than me. I need to totally learn a new lifestyle.

Tonight at Zanies in Chicago they did a special show celebrating their 30th anniversary. On the 30th of each month they’ve done a stunt and tonight it was ‘30 comedians on stage in 30 minutes’. I was honored to be asked to be one of them and it was a unique event.

Many veteran Chicago comics were there like Larry Reeb and Vince Maranto and John DaCosse and T.R. Benker who used to have the Guiness world record for joke telling. It’s always fun to hang out with all those guys but I know deep inside it’s time to evolve now.