Cold Weather - Hot Women

Friday December 19th, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

I wish that weather genius Al Gore would have been here to help me shovel the twelve inches of global warming that fell on my car this morning. If I didn’t know any better I’d swear we were having WINTER. Sorry Al, I guess I goofed. You obviously know better.

We really got blasted and every weather report said to stay inside but I chose to venture out and run some errands anyway. I wanted to get the Ford Explorer registered to me so I can drive it around legally for as long as I have it. Drew Olson was nice enough to let me use it so I wanted to make sure it was 100% street legal so he wouldn’t catch any flack.

Drew is a good soul. We’ve known each other so long I can’t count the years but we’ve always tried to help each other out. He bought a new SUV because he has a daughter that needs reliable transportation to school and this one was getting a little old for that. For me it fits my needs. It has bald tires and spongy brakes and is exactly the kind of sled I’d buy.

I know he took care of it and it runs really well. It looks nice and he just had it tuned up and he told me to drive it until spring and we’ll see where it’s at then. If it lasts maybe I’ll run it through the Waukegan auction for him. Or maybe I’ll like it and just buy it for me.

Either way it was nice of him to let me use it. The title is now in my name but I’d never do anything dishonest or try to rip him off. He’s been a friend for too long and even if he wasn’t I wouldn’t do it anyway. It’s not worth it. I’ll make sure we work out a fair deal.

One good thing about the bad weather was the DMV was as empty as I’ve ever seen it. I got in and out in about five minutes and marveled at how cool I thought it was but then an idiot in an 18 wheeler tried to make a turn on an unplowed driveway and got totally stuck so nobody could get in or out of the DMV lot. We were marooned helplessly for an hour.

The whole situation totally summed up Mr. Lucky’s character: catch what appears to be a minor ‘break’ and then have something ten times worse immediately happen next out of the blue unexpectedly next that not only wipes out the ‘break’ but puts me in a bad pickle.

I didn’t need to be anywhere so I wasn’t red lining my stress-o-meter but still it was not a picnic sitting in a snowy parking lot watching some toothless hillbilly gear jammer who never saw winter before try to make a snow angel with all 18 wheels. It got old in a hurry.

There was nothing any of us could do except wait it out and that’s what we did. I finally have gotten smart and started bringing books with me for situations like this so I don’t go into a spastic convulsion when I get trapped in one of these situations. I’m getting better.

As I sat there waiting I got a call from my friend Max in Springfield, IL saying how he just had a nightmare situation at a bagel shop where the in his words ‘knuckle dragging orangutan’ behind the counter wouldn’t sell him 12 dozen bagels because ‘it would wipe out my inventory’. Right! Isn’t that why you HAVE it? Max was really in his red zone.

I told him of my plight and we laughed about both of our situations. Some days we feel like we’re bulletproof and nothing can bother us. Other days it seems like the world has it out for us and every step feels like it’s in a minefield. Max was tense about it but after he told me he laughed. He told me he knew I’d be able to relate to his frustration and I did.

After I finally got out of the parking lot of the DMV and was especially grateful my life doesn’t involve driving a truck in or out of snow I went over to WLIP because I was near Kenosha and it was lunch time. I know enough people at the station and figured I’d find a lunch partner somewhere. Wrong. Everyone was either out, off or didn’t brave the snow.

I did get to see my friend John Perry for a few minutes. That guy is amazing. We met at 93QFM back in 1991 when he did overnights and I did mornings. We got along very well and stayed in touch through the years and he eventually became the program director and now the operations manager of both ‘95 Will Rock’ WIIL and WLIP. He’s done well.

What’s really remarkable is that he’s been at the station for years and years. He’s lasted through multiple regime changes when everyone else gets torched but he stays employed and I admire him for it. He does a fine job and really is a good person so I’m happy to see at least ONE deserving radioite keeps a job. I don’t know his secret though. I can’t do it.

He’s the one who asked me to do the paranormal show concept. He lets me do whatever I want because he trusts that I won’t sacrifice a goat on the air or worse and I appreciate a chance to do the show. I wouldn’t want to do anything to make him lose his trust in me.

Over the years he’s helped me out with jobs when I’ve needed or wanted them. I’ve had a few incarnations of working in the building back when they had a country station and as a part time and fill in jock at WIIL too. I appreciate guys like JP and Drew because we’ve had a lifetime friendship and helped each other. I’d go to the wall for either of those guys.

Since I couldn’t find a lunch partner I stopped at the good old Golden Corral in Gurnee on Route 132. Not only is it a great deal but there is an inordinately high number of super hot women that work there. I don’t know what it is but that place is LOADED with them.

I have always liked brunettes as a rule and for whatever reason this particular place has about seven or eight waitresses that are scorching hot. No joke. One wouldn’t expect that a chow barn buffet in Gurnee, IL would be loaded with hot chicks but it’s true. Go there.

The one who takes the cheese cake is an assistant manager who is absolutely one of the most physically perfect human specimens of a woman I’ve ever seen. WOW. I saw her at the register today and almost melted like the snow on my shoes. What spectacular beauty.

She wasn’t wearing name tag but with a chest like hers I wouldn’t have seen it anyway. She has enormous breasts and a petite body that’s perfect in all the right places. She’s got a perfect face and a dazzling smile and I can’t believe she’s working at the Golden Corral. She had a wedding ring on of course but maybe that was to shoo away goobers like me.