A Mess Of Stress

Saturday December 20th, 2008 - Oak Brook, IL/Milwaukee, WI

Stress. High tension. Heart attack in the making tightness. That’s a part of the comedy business everyone faces at some point. Most get shaken up concerning the actual on stage part of the process. It can be overwhelming for many to step out and face a live audience.

Not me. That’s never been a problem. I have other problems but not that. I don’t think I have ever experienced stage fright. I’ve seen others have it and it’s very intense. I’ve been blessed with enough natural ability to not worry about that. I can always pull off a show.

What causes my stress is all the other minutia involved before and after the actual show. It could be who I’m working with or what I’m being paid or where I’m staying that given night or any number of travel issues. There’s always something that isn’t going smoothly.

Today it was travel. I had an afternoon private show for Marc Schultz in Oak Brook, IL which is south and west of the heart of Chicago. The weather has been hellish and it was snowing yet again as I drove from Lake Villa to Chicago to pick up my mail near Zanies.

My gig was at 2pm and according to mapquest.com it was 21.75 miles from the door of the UPS Store to the gig. Mapquest didn’t include blowing snow and backed up traffic on the city streets and even though I left early I got there right at 2pm. That’s way too close.

The people were very nice and I did my show and left immediately to beat the weather. I had a dinner date at 6pm and thought I’d make it with no problem. WRONG. The snow kept falling and traffic kept getting slower and it became an over four hour crawl-a-thon.

What a nightmare. No matter what shortcuts I tried to take every city street was backed up and packed up and I was screwed. I was driving on about 1/64th of a tank and that was even more added stress. Stopping to fill up would have lost more time so I kept on going. I thought it had to start moving at some point and I would fill up as I got out of the city.

It didn’t help that I was driving Drew Olson’s Ford Explorer either. I’m still grateful he let me use it but it has bald tires and spongy brakes and I have to be even more careful so I don’t lock it up in the snow and ass plow some brand new Lamborghini. That would be exactly my luck. I kept an even safer distance than I normally would and just drove slow.

I called my dinner date and told her I would be late and she said it was snowing up there in Milwaukee too. I told her I’d call her when I got to town but then of course I was out of cell phone juice and it shut off. Start-stop. Start-stop. Stop. Start. Wait. It was miserable.

I finally pulled into the parking lot of the Potawatomi Casino at 7:40 for an 8:00 show. I was frazzled and tense and short tempered and frustrated beyond words. I wanted to blow the whole thing off but I was late for work and needed to find the Northern Lights Theatre so I could report to Steve the stage manager and let him know I was there. I wasn’t able to call him and that added even more intensity to the situation. I was totally in the red zone.

I hadn’t worked this gig in a while and since I’ve been here last they built a spectacular new casino right next to the old one. It really is quite impressive but I wandered through it thinking I’d find the Northern Lights Theatre but I was in fact totally on the opposite side.

I finally asked a security guard only to hear the familiar ‘Oh, you’re WAY off. That’s at the other end of the complex.’ Of course it was. Now I was even later and had to wind my way back through where I just came to find the old casino to wind my way through that.

When I finally showed up nobody was angry because it was still before show time and I wasn’t late. The staff is really nice and they’ve always liked me here. One of the security staff walked over and said ‘I’ve been waiting for YOU to come back. You’re the BEST!’

He meant it too. He started quoting bits back and I could tell he was really a fan. That’s very flattering and I shook his hand and thanked him for it and he looked at me like I was Elvis. I always try to be nice to everyone but the staff is the ultimate goal. If they like you it’s always a better experience. The staff at the Potawatomi have always liked me a lot.

I’d have to say this is one of if not the actual best facilities I’ve ever worked regularly. I’ve played some places one night that were fantastic but this is consistently a venue that is top shelf all the way. The stage is huge. The sound is KILLER. The theatre is gorgeous. There’s a back stage area with satellite TV and a refrigerator packed with ice cold drinks.

I feel like I’m in show business. They feed us great food after the show and everyone is professional. The stage manager Steve is easygoing and he tells me how much time I need to do and I always get off exactly on time. Not every comedian does that and he loves the fact that I do. I look at it like it should be - I’m working for HIM. He calls the final shots.

This is how comedy should be in my opinion. I wish I could have a venue like this on a regular basis and not have to travel so much. The people in Branson have the right idea. If I could come to work at a place like this every day I’d be under a LOT less daily stress.

The shows tonight were not as packed as they have been in the past probably because of both the weather and the holidays. I still had a blast anyway because I love to work in this venue and because I’m from Milwaukee and can get very local and go off on many riffs. I had some people come back for the second show so I took that as my personal challenge.

I did as much different material as I could so they could be entertained and I bet it was a 90-95% completely different show. The wait staff was really impressed and afterward one of them said ‘WOW, I’ve never seen anyone change their whole act. That was amazing.’

I thanked her for saying it and it made me feel even better. I feel at home here and all of the past demons of Milwaukee have been slain. The people who love me love me and the ones who don’t never will so piss on them. I’ve tried to make up with those people for as long as I can remember but I can’t change their ugly attitude. If they don’t like or support me then it’s on them. I’m going to focus on the good people and there are plenty of those.