Opening For Jeff Foxworthy

Friday December 12th, 2008 - St. Charles, IL

Today may very well have been by far the absolute most significant day I’ve ever had in show business. Or it could turn out to just be a Friday. I’ll have to wait and see. No matter what happens I had the most fun I’ve had in years and it turned my frown upside down.

I was asked to be the host of the Jeff Foxworthy show at the Pheasant Run Mega Center in St. Charles. I was at Zanies there last week and Cyndi the manager said Jeff was going to the big room this week and mentioned they might need an emcee. I couldn’t wait to get a chance to see Jeff again because I haven’t seen him in a few years. He’s a fantastic guy.

For those few who don’t already know the story I worked with Jeff many years ago and we hit it off very well. Most people do because he’s such a nice guy. He took me to lunch and bought me a hamburger and ran his ‘You might be a redneck if…’ idea past me and I told him I thought he was wasting his time. Yeah, right. But that‘s what I told him then.

He talks about in his book that he worked at a bowling alley in Michigan that had valet parking and that’s exactly the week we worked together. The place was Chaplins and it’s still there today in Fraser, MI. He said when he saw that he knew there were rednecks all over and not just in the south. He started writing his jokes and the rest is comic history.

I’m the first one to admit I was young and stupid and naïve and had no idea what public tastes were back then. Obviously Jeff did and it’s paid off handsomely and I’m not angry or jealous or anything else but happy for his success. He had a vision and it was brilliant.

I’ve been in touch with him over the years and we’ve crossed paths several times and he is always nothing less than gracious and kind and classy all the way. He is a true southern gentleman and I can’t ever remember another comedian saying anything bad about Jeff.

He was in the right place at the right time but he also worked very hard and he deserves all the good things he’s gotten. He’s always worked hard at his act and still does. He has a solid work ethic and obviously the public loves it or he wouldn’t be packing giant venues.

My luck factor kicked in in a very good way last week as I was the headliner at Zanies. I saw that Jeff was coming and asked Cyndi the manager to be considered for the host gig. I don’t think it even occurred to her but when I asked she lit up and knew I’d do the job.

Last Friday she brought a woman named Rachel out to see me and Rachel was in charge of the whole concert project for the resort. I had a monster show and she loved it and after that show she agreed that I would be the person to hire. We shook on it and made a deal.

I really do think I was a good choice for this gig for many reasons. There were bands on before Jeff and they needed someone to make announcements and stretch when necessary but they also wanted someone with (preferably) country radio and live hosting experience to keep the show going in case anything went wrong. I’ve got experience in all of those.

Cyndi was with me most of the night as my liason from Zanies and she would cue me to either stretch more time or cut it and bring up the next act. The promoters needed to keep a tight watch on time because Jeff had to catch a flight out of town right after the show. It was pretty hectic at times but I’ve got lots of experience and I knew I could pull it all off.

I made the announcements and got the audience to laugh and cheer and clap loudly as a new band would come to the stage. I know how to host shows. I’ve been doing it so long it’s second nature by now. I’ve paid my dues and nothing rattles me in that scenario even if it’s a night like tonight and there are several thousand people there. I’m not intimidated.

The challenge of the evening came after the three opening acts had finished a couple of minutes early and Jeff was still upstairs doing his meet and greets. Since he was on such a tight schedule after the show he couldn’t stay so it was an awkward situation for all. They asked me if I could stretch and I told them I could. Their look of relief made me laugh.

I’d been training my whole life for this opportunity. I went up there in front of however many thousand people there were and just let it rip for about 25 minutes. I told them that I would be gone just as soon as Jeff was ready but that I had to fill time until he came down from his meet and greet. Nobody booed and I just started into a bit like it was my show.

I’ve always thought my material didn’t always appeal to the masses but Jeff’s audiences are about as mass appeal as you can get and that’s not an insult at all. They are blue collar hard working solid American citizens and they like to laugh. I leaned into it and let it fly.

I got on a nice roll and what an indescribable jolt of electricity it is to be on that stage in front of thousands of people who snap off big long loud laugh after the next. It’s magical. It’s electrical. It’s what keeps me going whenever I get down like I was last night. THIS is what I’ve always pictured and at least for tonight I got my chance to live it. It was special.

The whole time I was up there I knew that’s where I belonged and while I was watching for a wrap up cue from Cyndi I also focused on how I felt being up there. WOW. It was as much fun as I’ve ever had and I relished every single second of it. This is what I was born to do. The dynamics of a huge room is tricky but when it goes well it’s THE best it gets.

Before the show I took some time to write Jeff a sincere letter. I hadn’t seen him since I was working on the radio in Utah and he and the Blue Collar Tour came through. I hadn’t filled him in on the bank robbery story or anything else so I gave him the short version of it all. I also asked him if he could help point me in the right direction for merchandising.

I help people whenever I can and Jeff is that way too. It’s not his job to help me but I’m sure he’ll call me and point me in a direction. I’ve got a movie script based on a true story that has a killer plot and I also have the idea for the King of Uranus. I’m ready to connect with someone and all I’m asking Jeff for is a suggestion. All I need is ONE. I told him it’s uncomfortable for me to ask for anything and it just is but no asking means no getting so I better change my method or I’ll never break through. This was one of my best nights ever.