Full Frontal Dentistry

Monday September 28th, 2009 - Chicago, IL

My mouth has given me all kinds of trouble ever since I can remember. If it’s not major dental malfunction giving me fits it’s me saying something stupid that gets me in trouble. Today it was a dental problem, and I haven’t had to trot through that minefield in a while.

I had my top front six teeth capped about a dozen years ago now. I’d had braces for way too long and cavities grew behind them so since I’m in the entertainment business I made a decision to invest in my appearance. I didn’t want to get laughs for having goofy teeth.

It did cost me a chunk of cash but I wanted to get it handled so I wouldn’t be sorry later. My dentist does outstanding work and I’m glad I invested in myself but he told me at the time no matter how well he attached them at some point they may eventually come loose.

Today was that day, at least for one of them. Jerry Agar and I stopped at McDonald’s to grab a quick lunch on our way to Vicki Quade’s house to continue work on our play with the Kidders and I bit into a McChicken sandwich and heard a crunch. I knew it was bad.

Lucky for me I was able to salvage the cap but the remaining tooth underneath is still a live entity and the pain started immediately. The process requires shaving down the tooth to use as a place to attach the cap and when the cap comes off nothing is left to protect it.

I couldn’t finish my food and sat there as Jerry chowed down like it was Thanksgiving. I was really in a foul mood but what could I do? There’s never a good time for a downer like this to happen but especially not today because I had things lined up day and night.

Jerry finished his lunch and asked if I wanted to go to a dentist and I said yes. I thought I could make it and have it looked at tomorrow but I needed to get it looked after because it hurt too much, plus it was a front tooth. We drove to the dentist where I’d had it done.

Of course he wasn’t in today but someone else in the office took care of it and they were able to reattach the original cap…for now. They told me it should stay attached but if not they may have to replace it. The last thing I need right now is a rework of my front teeth.

Now I’m worried every time I take a bite of something teeth will come flying out like a Jerry Lewis skit. I can’t order soup the rest of my life so I’ll just have to be careful when I eat something, but I’ve already been doing it for years anyway. No peanut brittle for me.

Jerry and I finally showed up at Vicki’s house and we started kicking around ideas with a vengeance. We’ve come a long way since we started and everyone sees progress. We’ve all put a lot of work into this and I have to admit I was skeptical at first but not anymore.

After that Jerry dropped me off at Zanies and I taught a comedy class and then hosted a show for Steve Mazan and Dwayne Kennedy, two of my favorite people in comedy. That made the tooth trouble easier to deal with but I’ll still worry every time I bite into food.