Flirtin' With Danger

Friday August 15th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

Lots of running around today since gas is down in price lately. In the Chicago area it’s a paltry $4.05 a gallon. Hell, they’re practically GIVING it away. It was $3.89 in the Duluth area but this stuff must be better. Sixteen cents a gallon better. The whole thing is a scam.

Whatever the prices are I promised my former student Hollie Himmelman I would do a gig that was set up by her husband Steve. He is setting up shows to get her stage time and that’s actually a very smart way to get better at comedy. Stage time is the key to growth.

Check that - QUALITY stage time is the key to growth. This was not it. Steve was once employed at the Board of Trade in downtown Chicago and the show tonight was upstairs in an Italian restaurant not far away. The setup made the whole thing like a big minefield.

There were two rooms and one of them was full of heavy drinking traders who did NOT come to see comedy. They were loud and rowdy and it’s a Friday and they weren’t in any mood to sit and watch anyone with clothes on talk about anything not concerning them.

The other room where the show was had a high degree of difficulty. The first thing was the loudness of the other room bleeding through. The second was there was no lighting on the stage area not to mention there was no stage. It was just on the hardwood floor and the waitress kept walking back and forth taking drink orders which was beyond distracting.

My friend Michael Alexander was on the show too and he went on right before me. He used to work at the Board of Trade so he knew how to handle himself with them and he’s an experienced comedian too so he did well. He hit them hard and fast and right when he finished his show a large portion of the not large audience got up and left along with him.

I told Steve just to end the show there and I wouldn’t be upset at all but he decided he’d bring me up anyway. I have lots of experience in horrible situations and even though I am not thrilled about it I can usually pull out some kind of a show. Usually. Tonight I started out pretty well and I actually got some laughs going and I kept it going for a nice stretch.

Just when I was starting to cool off a spectacularly stunning bronze goddess came in the room from the other side and strutted right past me six inches away. She had a body like a stripper and maybe she was but I cracked off a few ad libs that brought the house down. It was like shooting fish in a barrel and she walked back out as soon as she wasn‘t my topic.

The audience was into it and I closed very strong with a big applause break but this was totally not fun at all. I really do try to support my students and I don’t want to be rude but I can’t keep doing shows like this. Even if the crowd loved it this was meatball surgery.

They were very appreciative and that’s always nice but that could have really turned bad in a hurry. Those people weren’t there to see comedy and I don’t need attention that badly that I have to flag down a bunch of hard drinking stock traders. I was lucky to walk away.