A Good Road Trip

Thursday August 21st, 2008 - Dallas, TX/Ft. Smith, AR

Only 296 miles of driving today. It felt like a day off. Plus, having Lee Adams with me in the car made the trip go even faster. He’s a fascinating guy with some great stories and insights about life. He’s a few years older than me and just started doing comedy six years ago after spending a lifetime in the military and doing some other interesting things too.

He’s been over to Iraq and a whole lot of other places and he’s got some insights from a first hand perspective that kept my full interest on this trip. Plus he used to tour as a road manager for Bo Diddley and some other music acts and that made for a few stories also.

Hooking up with a good guy is one of the true treats of doing comedy on the road. I like the fact that we might not see each other for years and then we’ll cross paths and relive all the memories of the week all over again. It makes for a bond that lasts a lifetime and only the people involved can truly appreciate it. Lee and I hit it off and I hope we do it again.

I knew the drive wouldn’t be as long today so I got up early in Dallas to wander around downtown for a while. The last time I did that was when I took the bus trip and that was so long ago it all looked new again. I need to start exercising again though and I thought I’d start again today so I can hopefully get a streak going again. I need to do it every day.

It was a lot hotter and muggier today than it was yesterday and I was sweating like a pig in a very short time. I happened to see the Greyhound station a few blocks away so I went over there as a personal silver anniversary reunion of the trip that popped my road cherry.

I don’t know if it was the same station or not. I really didn’t remember anything unique about it back then and I was so tired from the trip that I wasn’t focusing on what the bus station looked like. I wanted to see Dallas. Now all these years later I couldn’t remember anything and it looked just like any other bus station - filled with derelicts and wackos.

My comedy bit came to life as I looked around the station 25 years later and I saw there hadn’t been much change in the clientele. One guy had a computer with him which is new since when I took my journey but I don’t think all the solitaire in the world could make up for the horrors of riding across America in a filthy sweat box filled with unwashed freaks.

I stood in line for about two minutes hoping to ask the ticket clerk how much a one way ticket to Milwaukee would be just to compare notes and see how it had evolved. I can still remember my round trip ticket back then costing $154. I wondered what a one way would cost but the idiot in front of me had a big problem and I didn’t feel like waiting any more.

If I really need to know what a bus ticket costs from Dallas to Milwaukee (and I hope to hell I never will) I’m sure I can look it up online in about ten minutes. It satisfied my need to relive my bus adventure so I got out of line and walked back out into the humid heat. It felt like I had graduated and went back to my old school again and it feels good for a little while but then it’s time to move on. I hope I never have to ride a Greyhound bus again.

A few blocks from the bus station I happened upon the Kennedy Memorial. I assumed a memorial of some sort would be downtown and there was. It was only a few blocks away from the actual site of the assassination and I couldn’t leave town without experiencing it.

These are the kinds of things that make the road so special and keep it fresh. I’m so glad I took the time over the years to see everything and anything I could and all this time later I don’t miss the money I spent but I do cherish all the lifetime memories it bought me. It’s the best money I ever spent and $13.50 admission today will be long forgotten very soon.

I’ll never forget the experience though. The museum is very well designed and there is a headset audio program that explains the whole story along the way. They restored the part of the building where allegedly the shots were fired and it’s a bit eerie to stand right there.

That was a huge event in American history and to see it in person was totally worth the price. I’m glad I did it and it was another thing that made me know I made a wise choice when I accepted these gigs. I listened to my little inner voice and it didn’t let me down.

After seeing the museum and finishing my walk I went back and showered at the hotel. They put us up in a great place and I just took time to be thankful for all that I’ve gotten a chance to experience in my life. Yes I’ve gotten more than my share of bad breaks but if I don’t acknowledge and claim the good things my whole life will be a waste. That’s dumb.

Today was a great day for many reasons. I had a super hotel room and Dallas has about as many hot women as any place I’ve ever seen. The hotel has a free breakfast and I got to sit at a table with some gorgeous babes and flirt for a while and then I went out and took a walk and saw the Greyhound station and then a piece of American History. It was great!

Then I got to ride in the car and hear fascinating stories of the music business and some other ones about traveling the world and what’s really going on in Iraq and that was about as entertaining as it gets. The drive seemed to fly by and we stopped at a burger joint for a sandwich and really got a great flavor of what Arkansas is all about. That was good too.

But the very best was saved for last. I was SO dreading coming back to do a show here I almost wanted to call in sick. Last time I was here it was a total disaster and I just wanted to get this over with and get paid. I wasn’t looking for any trouble and I knew when I took this run that this one might be a problem. I was prepared to just do my time and go home.

Boy was I surprised. For whatever reason this was a totally different vibe and I felt it as soon as I walked in the door. There were a LOT less hats both cowboy and baseball and it didn’t feel at all hostile and threatening like it did last time. I thought I might have a shot.

I was wrong. I had more than a shot. I had a bazooka tonight. These people were about as into it as it gets and I had one of the best shows I’ve had in a long time. I knocked this one not only out of the park but out of the parking lot too. What a way to end a run I was leery of to start with. Mr. Lucky caught a break and now it’s the long drive back home.