'The Party' Of Choice

Wednesday August 6th, 2008 - Chicago, IL

I needed a few laughs today. Things have been going pretty well lately but in my world of roller coaster ups and downs I wanted to guard against the next down turn. I can feel an uncomfortable situation brewing with Mr. Embezzler and I don’t want to blow my cool.

Now he’s ‘negotiating’ a settlement with my new web person Shelley that I’d be able to reuse my website domain name he stole if I would stop talking about it both in writing or to other comedians. Hmmm, let me think about that for just a little bit. Ok, I‘m done. NO.

This whole ugly thing just infuriates me and it seems so stupid that it even got this far. I feel the same way about the Brett Favre situation but I’m not involved in that one. This is a lot closer to me because this involves someone I thought was my friend for a long time.

I really am a dented can in many ways because this kind of scenario has been played out over and over in my life. My mother abandoned three kids and I’m not looking to get any sympathy but that can’t help but throw a wrench into someone’s inner workings. It hurts.

I was only five months old but I don’t care what age it is that hurts a kid’s development and certainly has hurt my ability to trust people. Then a guy who was my best friend from age 11 to age 35 threw me under the bus and tried to get me to take the rap for the double dose of bank robbery he dished out. That really crushed me too and it still stings today.

This latest example also took me by surprise and not only did I not expect it he is still as defiant as ever thinking it was no big deal. He’s a spoiled rich kid who doesn’t think that ‘a few thousand dollars’ is an issue. Then on top of that he’s sticking it to me by using my ideas, business plan and even domain name in trying to sell comedy classes to the public.

He never had his mother abandon him and in fact she has shipped him money countless times to bail him out of his laziness and failed attempts at get rich quick schemes. He has never had his best friend accuse him of a bank robbery and have to go testify against him.

I was his best friend and introduced him to all my comedy friends and now he’s using it right back at me and I can’t believe it’s all happening. Most of my comedy inner circle do not want anything to do with him but to the public looking for classes he’s just in the way and I don’t see why he’s even trying it. He doesn’t know a damn thing about performing.

That just doesn’t seem to stop people though. There’s another idiot running ‘classes’ in both Milwaukee and Chicago and he’s also stealing money from potential students but he doesn’t care either. I guess it looks easy to these lowlifes and they’re trying to scam cash.

None of this has ever been easy and I’m teaching because I enjoy it. I’m also qualified. I have been spilling my guts and giving my all for an entire lifetime and none of these guys can come close to that. I don’t expect the students to know that but when they take a class from me anyone with a brain can immediately see that I am not just out for their money.

Why is this still going on? They should just move on and find another scam. Even Brett Favre has realized that he and the Packers aren’t going to see eye to eye any time soon so he’s moving on to what’s next. It took way too long to play out there too and it was ugly.

This situation is ugly too and it could get a lot uglier if he doesn’t just go away. I know I have a lot of hurt and anger from a lot of sources before him still inside of me and even though I try very hard to be ‘nice’ and ‘professional’ and ‘take the high road’ and all that crap the motivational people throw out there if he keeps poking me I’m going to SNAP.

I’m not a violent person but I can’t say I wouldn’t grab a frying pan and do a face full of metal like Moe from the Three Stooges used to do. I don’t want to put myself in that kind of situation but hearing all of this from other sources makes me really have to hold myself back from dwelling on it in my mind. That is not where my head needs to be now or ever.

Jerry Agar’s family is up in Minnesota visiting his wife Ann’s mother who fractured her pelvis. That sounds about as painful as it gets and I feel very badly for her. Most guys that hear about their mother-in-law getting a fractured pelvis would celebrate but not Jerry. He has a good relationship with her and I‘ve met her several times as well. She‘s a nice lady.

Jerry asked if I wanted to hang out and I always enjoy that so I said yes. I had to go get a crown put on my tooth and that was halfway to the city so I just went and got him at WLS after I got done at the dentist‘s office. It wiped me out financially and I wanted to forget it for a while. Between that and Mr. Embezzler and Brett Favre I needed a mini vacation.

We had a late lunch and Jerry said he found out that the Kidders segment showed strong in the ratings book and that felt great. I’m happy for Jerry because he gets credit but it’s a blast knowing that someone is listening even though we’re not getting paid a dime for it.

That’s part of the game too. Exposure is never a bad thing on a big time radio station so I will just shut up and keep coming in until they tell me not to. I appreciate an outlet to be creative that someone might actually get to hear. This keeps me from thinking about what I don’t enjoy - like using a sharpened pool cue to shish-ka-bob my ex partner‘s pancreas.

Jerry and I got to talking about movies and he’d never seen ‘The Party’. I hadn’t seen it in a long time so we went and bought a copy for $9.99 and watched it at his house. I love Peter Sellers anyway and watching his brilliant timing and physical comedy put me right back in a good space. I highly recommend that movie to anyone who hasn’t seen it. Wow!

Supposedly Peter Sellers was a dented can too. Most creative types are. What I do love is that the best revenge is being creative. Peter Sellers is dead but he can still make people laugh with his brilliance through his movies. I needed a laugh today and he gave it to me.

Jerry has his own problems and concerns with a family to feed and the instability that is radio but for an hour and a half we sat and laughed and that was a treat I for one needed. I don’t want to dwell on all this useless insanity with my ex partner. I need to think funny.