Reinventing My Wheel

Friday August 29th, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

Time for a reinvention. Madonna does it every few years and she usually nails it. I have been pretty much the same thing for most of my adult life and haven’t nailed anything yet so this is as good a time as any to make a change. What I’m doing isn’t making me rich.

Last night in Rockford was a real pisser. The agony of having to stand there in front of a small crowd who didn’t care if I was living or dead really wasn’t fun. I was a whore just there for money and that’s never why I got into this in the first place. I like the process of being a comedian and developing an act and a persona but none of that mattered at all.

I got an email from the opening act saying he read what I said and wasn’t thrilled about it. That’s fine, that’s why I didn’t include his name. I didn’t mean anything personal by it but his act is absolutely WAY over the line and disgustingly vulgar. I’ve been doing this far too long to have to go up after that kind of filth and I’m not going to take it anymore.

If he takes it personally that’s up to him. I’m sure I’ll see him again at some point and I won’t pussyfoot around but I won’t look for a confrontation either. That’s not what I was looking to do when I wrote what I wrote. I wanted to explain to younger comics who read this that working blue is NEVER the right way to do things especially in the opener slot.

Maybe what I said was taken as harsh and I didn’t mean that at all. I went back and saw what I wrote and it said I ‘wasn’t fond of him’. That’s not really what I meant. I get along OK off stage but I really wasn’t fond of his choice of material to go up in front of me. If I miscommunicated that I sincerely apologize but I’m not sorry for defending my position.

In a way this whole thing was my fault for taking this run anyway. I did it for the money and didn’t think to ask who the opener was. Last week I had a guy who was really great to work with. He was older than me just like this week’s guy was but last week he got it and we had no problems. It’s really not my job to train newbies but I do try to offer some tips.

This is not the business it was when I started and I’m not excited about the direction it’s headed. I can either stay with it and be miserable like I am now or change my course. I am choosing to change my course even if that means joining the Peace Corps or finding a day job for a while to support myself while I find what it is that can help me find satisfaction.

It used to be really satisfying to go up and blow a room of strangers away but now that’s usually not the task at hand. A lot of times it’s babysitting drunks or having to shovel up a mound of wreckage any number of horrendous opening acts leave for me to deal with. It’s a constant grind and it would be a lot easier if I could have a little more say in all of this.

Booking rooms is not what I want to do but working with a set group of professionals is going to be higher on my list after this than it’s been in the past. I need to find a new way to channel my energy and make a living other than standing in a rock bar in front of a few people who don’t really care if I’m there or not. I’ve done it for too long and it‘s futile.

I’m up to my saturation point with a lot of things lately. Maybe it’s a midlife crisis and I need to get a Corvette and a stripper girlfriend like most normal guys my age are probably doing but I know that wouldn‘t satisfy my inner desire. I need my creative itch scratched.

The times I’ve been happiest in my life were when I was able to create something out of nothing. I still say my first pro wrestling show was THE most satisfying moment I’ve had in my entire life. I started with an idea and brought it to life and that was better than either the Packers winning the Super Bowl or sex. Or both. Together. I love to give ideas life.

Seeing my comedy class graduation shows have been right up there as well. Watching a group of people come from absolute ground zero in their experience and knowledge to go up and get laughs in a packed room of people is a thrill on many levels. I love to see them get the laughs but also I love the look of pure glee on their faces after the show is over.

Unfortunately these things haven’t put a whole lot of money in my pocket. Wrestling is long out of my life and no longer an option but comedy classes might be a way to get my creative juices stirred and make some money too. I need to take it to a place where people can pay for it and that’s probably in a corporate environment but I think I could do that.

The principles of comedy are the same whether I’m teaching in a comedy club or in the training room at a big company. People are basically people and I’ve got years of training in both comedy and teaching. I will have to start completely over and reinvent that also.

I guess this is just my time in life to do that. Whatever I’ve done in the past has brought me to exactly here and I don’t really like where I am so it’s time for a change. I can’t have as vague a definition as Barack Obama does about what that change is however. I need an exact focused well thought out detailed plan of action and I need to execute it every day.

My problem is I’m always too distracted by things around me and I continue to let it get into my field of vision. That’s on me and I need to improve dramatically. Now. This is an unstable time for most everyone and things are changing all over the place. Now I need to find my niche in all of this and grow whatever that is into my financial and creative base.

I’m backed into a corner and I don’t have many options left. I went up to Milwaukee to get a copy of my grandmother’s will today. My cousin Brett asked me to get a copy so he could see the details of how money was doled out. He was supposedly in for a half share of her house but that never came through. His father and my father stuck it to both of us.

I am going to let all that pass. If I dwell on it I’ll go crazier than I already am. Going up to Milwaukee was a big mistake today because of the Harley Davidson 105th Anniversary. Hundreds of thousands of Harleys are there and that’s like holy water to Dracula for me.

Every time I hear that sound I think of my father and his maggoty bunch of losers and I want to swerve my car over and take them all out. That’s not what I need to think so I will stay away from Milwaukee until it all blows over. I’ve got enough other stuff to work on.