I Need A Push

Thursday January 8th, 2009 - Duluth, MN/Lake Villa, IL

Time to pay the piper. Last night’s show was red hot and really fun but it didn’t change the fact I was still 500 miles from home with no gig today. The opening act J.T. Newton lives near me so we rode together but he overslept and we didn’t get on the road until an hour later than the 8:30am deadline we’d set the night before. That put us behind already.

I could have been a stickler or jumped in his face or called his room but what would it prove? I chose him for the opening spot and he was glad to get it and I understand how it goes. He doesn’t do the road much and stayed up too late and overslept. Not a major deal.

It didn’t make the drive any shorter. It just put us behind in getting started. It wasn’t my place to be a knob about it and if it were up to me I’d have probably left either right after the show last night or 5 or 6am in hopes of getting back early. Or I may have wanted that but overslept myself and ended up leaving at noon. Whatever the case we left at 9:30.

I decided to head down I-35 to the Twin Cities rather than backtrack all the way through Superior, WI and come down US Highway 53. I don’t know why I did that other than it’s a different route with new snow drifts and road signs to look at. It was still a long drive.

We stopped in Hinckley, MN to have lunch at another casino because I’ve stopped there before and it was delicious. Cheap too. Today was the same and we both knew in one bite that we’d made the right decision. It’s much better to stop for a nice lunch than to have to eat a greasy bag of colon clogger fast food in the car on the way. This was a better choice.

At lunch I told J.T. about an idea I had years ago to do a comedy show aimed especially at baby boomers. There are a ton of them at most casinos and they have money. J.T. loved the idea and we talked about it at length. He actually would be a perfect fit for the show.

He’s 52 but looks 40, dresses well, speaks well and happens to be black. I also have my friend Mark Shilobrit from Milwaukee who is 50 and does some really good impressions.
His Bob Hope is one of the best impressions I’ve ever seen anyone do. He really nails it.

I really don’t need another project to work on but this one could make some serious big money if done right. The casinos could book it in their big room and stress it as being for the baby boomer generation. I picture a four act diverse show that has different features.

It would be like putting together a band. There should be impressions along with music thrown in there somewhere and it wouldn’t hurt to have a black guy and a woman too. In a perfect world a nice mix of diverse people on the poster would make it really sellable.

I don’t even think I have to be on the show. I am at the very tail end of the baby boom but I’m still a member and I could light up that crowd. J.T. is a cancer survivor and that’s a major issue for baby boomers so it would add substance and Mark could blow them all away with his impressions. Talking about all this made the long drive seem a lot shorter.

Still, it didn’t hide the fact that it was a long drive and cost me another whole work day. I really have to be more careful of how I route my gigs because this won’t help make me a successful business man any time soon. This is how I’m used to living but as I get older it makes less and less sense. Even though it was a great show I’m still losing money today.

Maybe it was worth it in the long run by resurrecting this baby boomer comedy idea but it sure was a long way to go to get it. It ended up being a few miles longer taking the way back that I did and it was 522 miles total after I dropped J.T. off and drove home. Tired.

This is a transitional time for me right now and after careful thought I really don’t think it was worth taking this one single show for this low of money. On the other hand I’m at a crossroads in comedy because I’m really at my peak right now. I can feel it. All my shows have been on fire lately and I’m in a great groove. Now I just need to make that pay more.

At some point Jeff Foxworthy is going to call me back and I’m going to fly out to L.A. to meet with his management people. They may love me or not but that’s the kind of push I’m going to need from somebody. I can’t do it myself and I know it. I’ll need some help.

I want to put that request out in the universe and acknowledge it when it comes back to me. I have truly done my very best over the years to help as many other people as I could even when they didn’t ask me to. I’ve had my share of radio shows and all kinds of other things and when I could throw someone a bone I always tried to do it. Now it’s my turn.

Jeff is a wonderful guy and very kind and I know at some point I’ll hear from him and I will get my chance to pitch myself to his management. In a perfect world they’ll plug me in to the things they’ve got going and I’ll be the ‘hot new guy’ even though I’m anything but new. I’ll be a hero to the same people who love Jeff, Bill Engvall and Ron White too.

Larry The Cable Guy is a perfect example of what can happen. Jeff sure did help to put him in a new tax bracket. It was good for both parties though. ‘Larry’ is a guy named Dan Whitney who was a road comic just like me. I know Dan and we’ve crossed paths several times over the years. He always worked hard and was a nice guy and I’m glad he made it.

But I’m a nice guy too and I worked just as hard for just as long and I think it’s my turn to get my shot in the spotlight. Dan has done extremely well and I would bet if you asked him even he didn’t expect it to get that big. Larry The Cable Guy was a character he came up with for a radio show down in Florida and it ended up becoming what put him over.

Will Mr. Lucky be my hook that puts me over? I don’t know. How about The King Of Uranus? That could be it too. Or not. How about ‘The Dented Can’? Who the hell knows what the public will latch on to? I bet Dan didn’t expect Larry to be what would launch.

These are all things to be ready for because I can’t keep doing what I’m doing. I am not being smart and losing money in the long run. My show is TIGHT. I can light up a room and when I get a chance to do it on a big scale the only one who won’t be shocked is me.