Follow The Bouncing Check

Thursday September 3rd, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

It was the 3rd of September. A day I’ll always remember. ‘Cause that was the day…that my patience died. If anyone ever wants to anger, insult and infuriate an entertainer, just do the following: bounce a paycheck. That’s our biggest nightmare and today I had to live it.

A gig I did recently ended up bouncing my check after I’d written a few other checks to pay some other bills. I went to my post office box and found the big stack of ‘happy mail’ from my bank telling me of the situation and those envelopes don’t even have to be open to know something’s wrong. They just look wrong sitting there and I knew I was screwed.

I’ve never been one to take checks as a rule but gigs are giving them out more and more lately. One thing I learned early was to get CASH after every gig and usually it’s not a big deal. Most bookers and clubs take care of it and we’re paid after we do our show. Usually we just have to fill out our tax forms so we get a 1099 and then we get a stack of money.

Those stacks aren’t always thick but it is real American money. Even in Canada. I never had any problems getting paid when I’ve worked in Canada because I knew going in I had American money coming at the end of the engagement. Most people get it all worked out.

Apparently not this time. I’ve had a few checks get bounced over the years and it’s a big hassle all around. Honest mistakes can happen I suppose but it’s still a pain in the ass that I really don’t need this far into the game. I’m the headliner, make sure my money is there.

There should have been cash ready to go after the show and in the past there was but I’d worked for this person before so I took a chance. Big mistake. I feel very disrespected and it hurts. I’ve done favors for the guy and to get treated like this is the last straw. I’m angry and not in the mood for excuses right now. I want my money and I want it in cash. NOW.

The guy called back and said he was sorry but that he didn’t have it. That made me even more irate but what can I do? I’ve done more than my share of good shows there and I’ve even turned down better paying engagements because I thought the guy was loyal to me.

Boy, was I stupid to think that. He said “I hope we still have a relationship.” NO. We do not have a relationship and apparently we never did. If you’ve got a hamburger restaurant, you have to make sure you have a supply of meat and buns to make the product. If you’ve got a comedy club, PAY YOUR HEADLINER. Period. Everything else comes after that.

I wrote an email to the booker and explained my situation and the whole thing repulses me. I’ve got enough other projects to chase right now without having to go get the money I earned for doing quality shows. It was low money as it was but now it‘s just an insult.

Handling this situation will be delicate and although I want to take a golf club and break out all his windows right about now that won’t prove anything and I’ll go to jail. I have to shut my mouth and wait to see what happens. And people wonder why I have trust issues.