Thursday December 16th, 2010 - Belize City, Belize/Miami, FL/Chicago, IL I need a break. I’m not sure exactly how long, but at least a week or two without a place to be would be spectacular right about now. With all the ship travel and road work and an unplanned move, this has been one of my busiest years in recent memory. I’m all over the place, and it’s hard to keep up. There are so many things to remember, it gets confusing. Keys, wallet, phone. Keys, wallet, phone. That’s my constant mantra. Today I managed to lose my keys. Again. I’m constantly patting myself down and checking and re-checking those three items, but even if I keep track of them 999 times out of 1000, they’re still lost. I haven’t needed my keys for a whole week, and I thought I put them in a safe place so I wouldn’t lose them. I must have looked at them 1000 times this week, as there’s a shelf to store things in my cabin on the ship. This morning when I packed I thought I placed them in my pocket, but alas - they aren’t there. No matter how hard I looked, they’re not there. My wallet is there, and so is my phone. No keys. Two out of three IS bad when it comes to those things, but what can I do? If they’re in my cabin, I’ll be able to pick them up in a week when I go back. Fortunately, I have another booking on that particular ship. That’s a long term solution, but in the short term I’m screwed. Every key I need was on that ring. I used to carry at least a spare car key in my wallet, but I didn’t put one in from my new old Cadillac. I did get a second set when I bought it, but those are in the ash try and I have no idea if I locked it or not. Many times I’ll at least leave the rear passenger door open so I can avoid situations like this, but at this point my brain is mush and I just do not know. I’ll deal with it like I have every other time this has happened, but it always seems to be at the most inconvenient time. I’m between places to live and everything is up in the air at this point. I have no base of operations and everything is in boxes and storage. I guess I’m one that needs some kind of order and I don’t have that right now. I’m living like a gypsy. I did make the flight from Belize to Miami. I flew with the other comic Thomas Brown, and he’s just a super nice guy. He’s friends with Jeff Foxworthy, and that’s all he needed to say. My respect for Jeff is up there with anyone on the planet, and after this week so is Thomas. He’s a straight shooting guy, very hard working and he likes to restore old cars. I love old cars too, but he’s got me beat by miles. I’m a tire kicker and an admirer, he’s an actual doer. He restores about two cars a year from the ground up and resells them for top dollar. He’s a metal worker and a welder and does the work himself. I couldn’t hold a wrench straight, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t admire the majesty of those old cars. They’re rolling art, and Thomas really knows his stuff. It’s great when comedians don’t always have to talk comedy every waking second. I enjoy that too, but it was a refreshing week to work with a classy guy like Thomas. He carries himself like a total pro, and I can feel we’ll cross paths again. He’s the kind of person I want to have more of in my life. He’s got goals and dreams and chases them. I know Jeff did too, and I still think we will be back in touch eventually. I’ve always felt uneasy asking for favors, but that has to stop. Maybe it’s from childhood rejection, who knows? I do know there are people who believe in me that would love to make a call, and I know Jeff is one of them. He’s got some clout. I have to be ready when the time comes. He did what he said he’d do last time we spoke and I followed up with his management company and got turned down. That’s not what I expected, but maybe the time just wasn’t right. When it is, I’m sure whomever the person is that will give me my break will open that door and it will fall together. That’s the plan. I have to maintain a positive attitude and keep expecting good things, but I can’t lie. It’s very difficult to do that all the time, especially around this time of year. Christmas and all it’s nasty memories hadn’t really hit me until today in the Miami airport when I waited in a line to go through customs and some idiot in front of me took about 20 minutes to clear because she was arguing with the agent and had a hand full of passports. It was a big pain. When I blow in the patience department, I’m gone. I have to hold my tongue or I surely will end up in jail, at least for the night. I don’t suffer idiots well, but slow ones are even higher on my up the poop shoot with pointy steel toed work boots list. I was about to get to my last nerve when I heard The Little Drummer Boy and that took me to a sad place. It’s amazing how one little trigger like that could take me out, but it did. I suddenly saw all the wreaths and ornaments and lights and realized I was in Miami. The only chance for a White Christmas is if the cocaine dealer stops over. I tried to shut my senses off, but if it were that easy, I’d do it every year. Some years are better than others, but today got ugly. The more I tried to avoid the decorations, the more I saw them. It’s actually quite funny, but not on a day like today. I just want to turn it all off and rest up for a while. Recharging the batteries would do wonders, but that’s not coming for a while. I have more gigs to do. After having to go through security in Miami…AGAIN…my mood really turned sour. I just did it in Belize, and haven’t been anywhere else but the airport. I don’t think anybody at the airport has a store selling bazookas or shoe bombs. Why do I have to go through the rat and cheese game again? Everyone does, and today’s crew were the typical idiot posse. I got to my gate, and apparently I was too late to get on the plane. It was right there, but they made me wait for the next one. Then, they didn’t tell me there was a gate change so I had to run and catch the tram to my gate all the way across the airport. My nerves are shot after a tough week and all these little things that really don’t mean much by themselves. Together, they’re a constant reminder that it’s time to rest and recharge for a while. I am bass ackwards in every part of my life, and it all feels out of sync at the moment. Nobody cares though, and I know that. It’s up to me to do what I need to do to get in a mindset for success. At this point I’ll settle for one that lets me keep track of my keys. I’ve got a busy weekend of shows, then just a few days home before going back out to sea. I’m frazzled.
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