Friday, December 3, 2010

Proper People Procedure

Wednesday December 1st, 2010 - Cozumel, Mexico/Houston, TX/Trevor, WI

   How to behave professionally off stage is a major element of the entertainment business far too few performers ever even consider. There are more opportunities to make a one on one impression off the actual stage, and both good and bad can have a huge ripple effect.

   Nobody wants to meet a lukewarm celebrity. They want to hear detailed stories of either how saintly wonderful the person was or exactly how much of a total pure bred first class grade A hand delivered right out of the shoot flaming bung hole one human being can be.

   I’ve seen both and I’ve been both - even though I don’t consider myself even close to an actual celebrity. But…some of the situations I’ve been in have put me in that role whether I wanted it or not. I’ve always realized how important fans are, because I‘ve been one too.

   I regret to this day a situation when I was doing morning radio in Salt Lake City. I had a clash with a sales clerk in a store trying to return some clothes I had to use for a television spot we did. The deal was I was never going to buy them, only use them for about an hour and take them back. Nobody had informed the clerk of that, and it eventually turned ugly.  

   The sad part was, I was extremely polite for about 98% of it. I asked calmly to speak to someone else, and eventually the store manager was called. After several minutes of what went nowhere, I really hauled off and blasted all of them with a heaping helping of my no holds barred patented verbal bazooka shots and laid everyone out. I won - or so I thought.

   It turns out there was a listener shopping in the store when the hammer came down and she recognized my voice from the radio. She wrote me a scathing email saying how she’d been a fan until hearing me go off, and now would never listen to me again because of it.

   I immediately wrote her back agreeing with her that I was completely in the wrong, and how careless I was to lose my cool in a public place like that. I also talked about it on the air and apologized to both the lady and anyone else who may have heard it. I never heard back from her, but I’ve never forgotten it. Once a mistake gets out, it’s out there forever.

   She didn’t see the countless times I’ve gone out of my way to include someone who has come out to be part of whatever appearance we were doing, or really be grateful when any person comes up to tell me they either listened to me on the radio or saw me do comedy.

    I think it’s a no brainer to be nice to the public, but I’ve seen a lot of people blow it off, or worse yet make a complete ass of themselves by showing up drunk or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. There are far too many examples to list, and I’ve seen too many.

   Jim Wiggins is a veteran Chicago comedian who has mentored countless up and comers over the years, myself included. I’ll never forget something he said way back when I first started. Someone asked him when one should ‘turn it on’ as far as being in the audience’s eye and Jim said “You don’t only work the audience, you begin with the entire TOWN.”
   I never forgot that. When Jim gets to a town and goes into a diner to have lunch, that’s a performance. He’s friendly and entertaining to the hostess, waitress, bus boy, other people eating, and anyone else who should cross his path. He’s NEVER rude or standoffish, or is too big to talk to anyone. By the end of lunch, everyone in the joint knows he’s a comic.

   Some people are more outgoing than others, and Jim happens to be one of them. I don’t necessarily announce I’m in town to perform, but in many situations people already know so I know all eyes are indirectly on me the entire time I’m there. That’s a show in itself.

   The main thing to remember is to smile, be friendly, and if someone should walk up for an autograph or just say hello - pay FULL attention to them and thank them sincerely. It’s not difficult at all, and when it comes from the heart I’ve found that people totally love it.

   I am very sincere when people approach me, and it’s been happening more and more in the last couple of years. It happened in a big way on the ship this morning as I was getting ready to disembark and fly back to Chicago. We docked in Cozumel, Mexico and we had a delay getting there for whatever reason and I was beginning to think I’d miss my flight.

   There was a giant line of people getting off for the day, and the other comic and myself were right in the middle of it. He had to go back to his room for something, and it left me to wait at the service window alone while literally several hundred guests walked past one by one about ten feet away. I was a one man freak show for a while as they gawked at me.

   I stood there with my luggage, and even though I was losing patience and really thought I may not get home, I tried to look as calm and relaxed as I could. Flipping out would not do anyone any good, and I totally thought of the Salt Lake City incident. At first I felt the people notice who I was, but not say anything. I was filling out paperwork, but I felt it.

   When I finished my paperwork, I stood around waiting for the other comic so we could finish our business with Immigration. One lady meekly got out of line and whispered over to me “We all REALLY enjoyed your show last night. My whole family just loves you.”

   My whole face lit up and I leaned over and whispered right back to her “Then why are we whispering? I wish you’d tell everybody!” She started to giggle, and that started it all in motion. Her family came over, took some pictures and then the line came through me.

   Within about ten minutes I felt like a greeter at a wedding cracking off one liners to all the people who came over. It was a domino effect. When one group saw I was willing to be approached, they all did exactly that. I took pictures and shook hands and listened as a line of nice people told me how fun a time they’d had. I sincerely thanked every last one.

   They didn’t know I was afraid I’d miss my plane, and they didn’t need to. I did catch it, just barely, but missed my connection in Houston. I eventually got back, but I’m tired and cold and worn out mentally from this last run at sea. Now I have a new set of problems to work on, but at least I know a few hundred people on a cruise ship think I’m a big star.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

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