Absolute Magic

Friday August 24th, 2007 - Memphis, TN

Now THIS is how comedy is supposed to work! What a night in Memphis. I felt like I’d gone back in time and was in the comedy boom of the 1980’s again. I would have killed to be a headliner for audiences like this back then and now years later I finally got my chance.

Those years were amazing times. I had no idea that I was in such a boom period when it was happening and most other comedians didn’t either. Clubs were opening in every town and audiences would show up if there was a brick wall with a mike stand in front of it and three guys telling jokes for an hour and a half. They would laugh uproariously and it went on all week. Most clubs had shows Tuesday through Sunday and the houses were packed. Somebody made a lot of money during that time but it wasn’t me. I managed to eek out an acceptable living which became exceptional because I was doing what I wanted to do.

Both audiences felt that way tonight here in Memphis. The first show was pretty full and I could see that they were nicely dressed and didn’t appear rowdy at all. John Marks is one of the owners who is also a comedian and he opened the show very capably. It helps us all to have a strong and competent host to set the rules for the night and he did just that. He’s a pro and I was glad he was there. The feature this week is from Dayton, OH named Dave Glardon and he sets me up very nicely because he doesn’t step on any premises that I do.

Dave had a strong set and I could feel that this show was built correctly. They were in a good place when I got on and I took them on a roller coaster ride the rest of the way. This is when I’m at my best because I just keep pounding them until they can’t laugh any more and then I pound them some more. I could see people gasping for air and holding up their hands to get me to stop but that only made me give them some more. This was a workout for them but a night off for me. All I had to do was stand there and watch them all laugh.

That’s the challenge on a show like this. It’s easy to step on your own laughs when they are that responsive and that’s counterproductive. I worked for years perfecting these jokes so why not squeeze every last chuckle I can out of them? I laid them in there and just had to stand still until they stopped laughing and then I’d throw another one out and they’d go nuts all over again. I would make facial expressions or gestures and tried to fan the flames in any way I could. This was just one of those times where EVERYTHING I did worked.

I sold a few cds but not as many as I could have because people were lined up to tell me how funny I was. That’s never a bad thing and I didn’t want to shoo anyone away but I do think I could have sold twice as many if I’d have had a better setup in place. I need to get one quickly because I plan on being out on the road for a while and I’d hate to lose sales.

There was a hot little blondie with a sexy southern accent who had a couple of friends in her party who came up and told me I was the funniest comedian she’s ever seen in her life and that if she didn’t have a no good husband at home I’d be sleeping in her bed tonight. It kind of took me by surprise. Then she reached down and rubbed my lucky charms with her left hand as she kissed me on the cheek and told me I made her forget about her problems.

I know I don’t drink alcohol but I was thankful that she did. Having her jostle my crotch at work is a nice perk. I don’t think very many Walmart greeters have hot blondies do that on the way out of the store. This woman was smoking hot and dressed to the nines and I’ll bet her idiot husband doesn’t have any idea how lucky he is to get to come home to her. It was very frustrating and there was nothing I could do except say thanks and then they left.

The late show wasn’t nearly as full and it was a much younger group but they were also fantastic in their own right. Like those super audiences back in the ‘80s they erupted with laughter and that energy fed off itself and kept going the whole night. They weren’t jaded like many audiences can get today and I could tell they wanted to be entertained. That has a snowball effect because it makes me want to give them all I can in return. They were hot and loved the whole show. I slowed it down and was animated and I found their groove.

Nights like this are what make all the cross country drives and motel rooms worth it. It’s a feeling of intoxication being up there when everything’s going right like it was tonight. A bond of trust develops with an audience and they let me take them where I want. It takes a show to a whole new level and creates a fantastic energy that I never get tired of feeling.

Earlier in the day Dave Glardon and I went into town to get some lunch. Dave has a few years on me and was stationed in Memphis in the military back in the ‘70s. He only started doing comedy four years ago and is getting his feet wet on the road. I try to buy a meal for every feature act I work with just because it’s a good thing to do. It’s become a tradition.

When I started out I had one bought for me by a guy named Tim Cavanagh. He’s one of the nicest people and funniest comedians I’ve ever met. We worked some hell hole and he bought me a meal after the show. I thanked him but he said ‘This is not me buying a meal for you, this is comedy buying a meal for you. When you’re a headliner you need to pass it forward to someone else.’ I’ve always tried to do that and his one meal he bought has now turned into several hundred for other comedians on the way up. I don’t mind though, it’s a proud tradition. I hope I can continue it and have those other comics also pass it forward.

Today we ate at one of my all time favorite restaurants ‘The Rendezvous‘. It’s a rib joint in an alley that’s between two hotels downtown and is pretty famous around the country. I discovered it years ago and every time I’m in Memphis I try to get back there for a rack of ribs. They are very unique in that there is no barbecue sauce on them. They’re served ‘dry’ with a concoction of spices or herbs or whatever they put on them and the flavor explodes from the first bite. Dave had never been there before and he loved it just as much as I did.

We ate like kings and hung out and just enjoyed the comedy life like it’s supposed to be enjoyed. It can get difficult at times and frustrating and makes us all crazy but when we’re in a good town working a good club with good people there is no way to beat it. This is a week like that and I’m enjoying every second of it. It might not be how it was in the boom years everywhere anymore but a week like this sure makes it feel that way. This is fun and I needed some fun right about now. All I have to do now is find 51 more weeks like this to fill out my year and I’ll be all set but I don’t think 51 other hot weeks like this even exist.