How 'Bout Dem Packers?

Saturday August 18th, 2007 - Lake Villa, IL

How out of whack is my world? I don’t have a gig tonight, I don’t have a date tonight, the weather is absolutely horrible and has been all day long…but I’m in a fantastic mood. Why? Because the Green Bay Packers won a preseason football game 48-13 tonight. I’m pathetic and I know it but it feels SO good so I’ll just enjoy it and worry about life later.

It’s not even a real game. It’s only preseason and doesn’t count for anything other than I can feel good about being alive for a day. It’s crazy and I know it but it does make me feel something good deep inside and I wish it didn’t. I need help. I think I’m a Packer-holic. It is euphoric when they win and it kills me when they lose. I’m not even a gambler. I am not a fantasy player either. I just feel satisfied inside whenever the Packers win and it’s stupid.

You may agree I’m an idiot but I’m not the only one. There are MILLIONS of others all over the world who also suffer from my disease. Packer fans are everywhere and in all my years of traveling America I have never ever had a problem finding a Packer bar anywhere to go see a game on TV. When I get there it’s full of green jerseys and there’s usually beer flowing and bratwurst cooking and I feel like I’m back in Wisconsin no matter where I am.

I have made fun of those morons who live and die with the Packers score but deep down inside I have to admit I’m one of them. My grandfather had the disease and passed it down to me and I’ve been suffering with it my whole life. He died of cancer and was in a hospice the last few weeks of his life and there happened to be a Packer game on TV right near the end. He only had a few days left and we were there watching a game together for our final time. We both knew he was going to die soon but the Packers destroyed New Orleans 35-7 in a blowout like tonight and he had the last big smile on his face I ever saw him have.

That’s the power of sports and it’s scary. It affects something way deep inside us. There is an ‘us vs. them’ tribal need in all of us and a need to compete and win. This is what is in the soccer hooligans who kill each other in Europe and also what’s in the terrorists over in the Middle East. Palestine vs. Israel is just a more violent version of Packers vs. Bears. It’s a deep inner human need to pick a team and be loyal to it and want to win and be the best.

I wish I could get rid of it but I admit that I’m hooked. I’ve tried everything but I still do care if they win and probably always will. I don’t always watch the games anymore but I’ll catch a final score and go over all the statistics. I am geeky enough to watch the NFL draft on TV and I look forward to it even. I think shooting heroin would be an easier addiction.

That being said, for one day I am on top of the world. I am not in a funk today and I will build on this good vibe to get ready to go on the road again and start the comedy grind for the umpteen thousandth time. I got the oil changed on both cars and have clean laundry to last me for a few weeks and I’m back out on the comedy trail. I have a gig tomorrow over in Michigan and also a Chicago Style Standups meeting to see what’s going on there. I am aching to get back in the groove again and I know my act is getting stronger than ever. I’ll see if I can parlay it into more than just some gigs in Michigan and Topeka and Memphis.