Sparky, Whitney and Me

Wednesday August 8th, 2007 - Lake Villa, IL

Thrift store bonanza today! The tiniest little things in life many times either invigorate or infuriate me. I’ll get fired from a radio job or have my engine puke and I don’t even give it a second thought but then I’ll get a stain on a clean shirt or something and pop my cork.

The same goes for good things. It doesn’t take a winning lotto ticket (not that I’ve ever had one) to make my whole day good either. Sometimes just little things like making a kid laugh or hearing my car start on a cold winter day can put me in a great mood. It’s weird.

I am trying to focus more on the good side than the bad and not let the little things get a grip on me. I’m getting a lot better with it in recent years but I still have relapses once in a while. Life is too short to worry about anything and I like to enjoy the good parts as much as possible whether they’re big or small. Today I got a bone thrown my way and I love it.

There is a Salvation Army thrift store on Route 30 in Merrillville. I decided to take a lap before coming back to Chicago and I hit the mother lode of self help cassettes. I have a lot of time to listen because I drive so much and both my cars now have cassette players. I am not looking to add more physical objects to my life but I couldn’t pass these up. I counted 26 at the listed price of fifty cents each and it put me in a good mood knowing I found that many for such a good price. They were all the big names like Wayne Dyer and looked like they had either never been listened to or only listened to once. Either that person was now totally motivated and didn’t need these anymore or they gave up. Either way I found them.

When I got to the checkout the lady told me they were half price so now I was on cloud ninety-nine. It will probably take me months to listen to all of them but I walked out with a bag of them for six bucks and change. In the scheme of life this was not even a blip on any radar but to me I felt like I just won the megabucks lotto. I know I’m nuts but I’ll accept it and enjoy my little gift from the universe. Now I have something to listen to for months. If both cars blow up and I get a new one with a CD player I’ve got a bunch of those too so I am set either way. The only thing that would screw me now is a car with an 8 track player.

I popped in Wayne Dyer’s ‘Pulling Your Own Strings’ on the way home. I always liked him and still do. He’s very funny and smart and his voice soothes me. That’s part of what I like about listening to self help tapes. The speakers have rhythm in their voices just like it’s music. Tony Robbins is very listenable as is Brian Tracy and Dennis Waitley. I can put in a tape and let my mind take off when I’m on a long trip and it’s relaxing and informative.

It would be great if I could do the same for others. Most of these guys have quite a few products out so someone other than me must be listening to them. I know I could produce at least one CD of how to use humor principles to overcome adversity and with as easy as it is to produce a recording I bet I could have it finished both quickly and cheaply. I have a bunch of other things to get to first but here’s yet another project to pile on my big ‘things to get to’ pile which is getting bigger by the day. Maybe listening to all of these tapes will be what I need to motivate me to finish it all. All I know is it made my day to find them.

I also found a copy of a baseball book written by Sparky Lyle called ‘The Bronx Zoo‘. It is a diary about the 1978 New York Yankees season and I remember reading it back when it came out because I loved Jim Bouton’s book ‘Ball Four’ so much. I don’t think this one was as good as Ball Four but when I went to my first Brewers game growing up they were playing the Yankees and it was ball day and I was sitting in the bleachers. Sparky Lyle was warming up in the bullpen and I got him to sign my baseball and I never forgot how cool it was to have an autographed baseball of a real player. He was a left handed pitcher just like I was and from that day on I was always a fan of his. For a quarter I had to buy the book.

I wonder what Sparky Lyle is doing now? Back then he was on the Yankees and making big money for the times and on top of the world. But did he know it? So many times in life we are in a good situation and don’t even know it until it’s gone. I am very sensitive to the fact that I am still in a good situation despite my past and all that has gone on in my life. It could have been a LOT worse and I know that so now I need to take the good and make a great life out of it. I’m not satisfied with where I am but I do know it could be a lot worse.

There was an article about Whitney Houston in the paper today. There’s an example of a person that had it all and let it get away. How many people would love to have what she’s had and still it doesn’t seem good enough. I know we are all individuals and all that but to be on top of the world like she was with only the best ahead and to end up where she has seems like a letdown. Today is her birthday and she’s 44 just like me. Who is better off?

That’s a good question. Michael Jordan is my age too. His life was as good as it gets but now he’s out of the limelight. Is he a failure? Of course not but it’s hard to believe he will ever be able to come close to the level he was at with anything else he does. Is that fun?

These are questions that can only be answered by an individual. Michael Jordan doesn’t have the same needs and goals as I do and neither does Whitney Houston. I doubt if either one of them would be happy about being in a thrift store much less finding some tapes or a book for a quarter. As for me I think it was a great day so who’s right or wrong? Nobody.

I used to have long talks with my grandpa when I was a kid about happiness. He told me that I should never look at anyone else’s life and compare it to mine because everyone has their own standards but that’s difficult to do. How can we not look at everyone else to see what they’re doing and compare it with our own lives? I have always struggled with that.

I am not Michael Jordan and I am not Whitney Houston but there are a lot of others I’m sure who are also 44 and look at me with envy. I am still out here doing what I love and if I never hit the big time at least I was able to avoid the treachery of working a day job for a lifetime of unfulfilled misery like most others settle for. At least I didn’t settle for that. Not that I could either. I’d have gone crazy a long time ago had I been forced to work a job.

Today was a nice little lesson of where I am in life and where I want to go. I have things I want to do and I still have the ability to do them. Yes I missed out on a lot of stuff I was hoping to do but that’s over now. I am where I am at this time. It’s up to me to succeed.