Amazing Graceland

Saturday August 25th, 2007 - Memphis, TN

I’m still on a high from the two hot shows last night. What a blast. I couldn’t sleep at all so I stayed up until dawn going through my calendar for next year. Actually I bought two 16 month calendars that go from September of ‘07 through December of ‘08 and now it’s time to fill them both with bookings. I’ve lost calendars before so now I have a backup in case I do it again. After all this time on the road I’m starting to get a little smarter. A little.

I know now I’m not going to be doing radio any time soon so I can contact every single booker I’ve ever worked for, wanted to work for and hope to work for in the future. I am going to change my strategy and not just take anything that comes along as I always have. I will go after better work in better venues and that will take a solid plan and the execution of it. I still need to make a living but I also need to keep raising my stakes in new venues.

It’s a constant struggle but the worst thing I can do is stand pat. The fact is I’m a typical run of the mill ham and egger comedy club headliner. Even though that’s about as difficult a job as there is in the entertainment business it’s not a way to get rich any time soon. I’ve been able to make a living for many years doing this but it’s a younger man’s game and I’d be very smart in looking for what’s next. I don’t mind still being a road comic but I need a draw to get people to come and see me to make it worth my while for living this lifestyle.

One person who didn’t have to worry about money every week was Elvis. After an hour and a half of looking over my booking possibilities I decided to take a tour of the town for a while because I was sick of hanging out in the room. I don’t get to Memphis as much as I’d like and I like it here so I drove around town to see the sights. I passed by the building where Sun Records used to be and also the hotel where Martin Luther King was shot. I’ve seen those places before but I was in a touring mood so I took the time to see them again.

I passed by Elvis Presley Boulevard and hadn’t planned on going to Graceland this time through but when I saw the sign for it my little inner voice told me to go so I did. It’s been at least a dozen years since I’ve taken the tour and a lot has happened since then so I spent the $27 and got the deluxe tour package and killed a couple of hours of my afternoon. I’ve had a fun week and I’ve spent a lot more than $27 on stupider things so I decided to do it.

Last week was the 30th anniversary of his death and it would have been impossible to see it then but today was a breeze. I paid my money and got right on the tour bus that took me across the street. I was the only one on the bus and there were some people already in the mansion when I got there but it wasn’t packed like the last couple of times I’ve been here.

The first time I was here happened to be on the 10th anniversary of his death in 1987. I’ll never forget that trip because I didn’t know it was the anniversary until I got here. I was in shock walking around and seeing all the insanity unfold before my eyes. People from every corner of the country were gathered and many were dressed like Elvis and they were really somber. Many were weeping openly and I remember then hoping people would still have a reason to cry about me ten years after I was dead. That whole scene was very odd to me.

I had a comedy club shirt on and someone from Entertainment Tonight asked if I would mind if they interviewed me about the whole scene from the eyes of a comedian. It was my first national TV shot and I don’t remember exactly what I said but I made a couple of one liner jokes that ended up getting on the show. People told me they saw it but I never did.

I know I wasn’t as respectful then as I should have been or am now. Quite frankly it’s an absolute fact that Elvis Presley is THE single biggest entertainer for the entire 20th century with the possible exception of Bob Hope. Hope was great in his own right but Elvis had it as far as star power and charisma. Bob Hope was a star of radio, TV, movies and on stage and was world famous and rich beyond his dreams but Elvis had his generation’s sex drive.

I’m sure Bob did fine with the ladies in his circle but they weren’t tossing panties during his comedy routine. Elvis could have done any woman within a 500 mile radius of the city in which he was performing right in front of her husband and father. Now THAT’S power.

Back when I was here the first time I was a young punk and it was hip to make fat jokes and drug innuendos and people still do but all these years later seeing how insane showbiz is and how difficult success is on any level I have a whole new respect for how great Elvis really was. He hit it at 22 and broke lots of new ground not only in music but in Las Vegas and in movies too. Yes most of them weren’t great but they all made money and he did 33 of them. How many full time actors never do 33 movies? Lots. He was a singer who did it because his manager wanted him to. The older I get the more respect I have for old Elvis.

Taking a look at the wall of all his gold records was pretty impressive too. He’s the man when it comes to all time sales and nobody can take that away from him. Someone may be able to top it someday but he did it at a time when it really meant something. He was really in the right place at the right time in many ways and he won life’s lottery jackpot big time.

I’m really glad I took the tour. They have made it very slick and organized and whatever new company is running it is doing a spectacular job. I saw the planes and all the jumpsuits and the car museum and I felt I got my money’s worth for sure. I don’t know if I will need another dose of the king for a few years but for today it was a real learning experience and I soaked everything in with a completely different perspective than I did when I first came.

Two more hot shows at the club tonight. The first show was jam packed and I again had a monster response but I didn’t like them as much as that first show last night. That one is one for the ages. This one was very good but not the same. I did sell a lot more cds at this show and no hot blondies rubbed my crotch but other than that it was still a monster show and the second one was good too. Then I got paid and realized that Elvis gave more away to charity than I made for the week and realized I really have to find a way to be a draw.

I’m not complaining about what I made and in fact I’m very grateful for it but I am in an industry where the top performers get paid top money. I have clawed and scraped my way up the ladder for 20 plus years to be a top comedian and if you’d ask anyone who came to Comedy, TN this week they’d all say I was definitely one. Now I need to get paid like it.