A-OK With The IRS

Thursday August 16th, 2007 - South Elgin, IL/Lake Villa, IL

Another day of survival in the jungle. I knocked out a bunch of emails to try and shrink my load of 256 I need to answer down to a manageable number. They pile up quickly and I try to keep up but if I get a little behind it adds up in a hurry. Next thing I know I’m 256 behind and that gets to be a little much. I try to answer them personally and thoroughly so it took a couple of hours but I did get the magic number down to 164. Still a ways off but at least I put a dent in it and it made me feel like I accomplished at least a little something.

My accountant called and told me my tax return was finished. I dropped it off a few days ago and he said he’d get to it ASAP and it was faster than I thought. I did file an extension on April 15th and technically it wasn’t due until October 15th but I’m glad to get it done for another year. There’s no real reason I shouldn’t have had it finished way before April 15th but I didn’t get to it and it really isn’t a big deal. But to me it is just because I don’t like to have unfinished business if I can help it and I’m glad it’s over with. I owe $33 to the state of Illinois and will get back a few bucks from my federal return so at least I’m not in debt. I still have to resolve the issue with the state of Utah who claims I owe taxes on $10,000 I didn’t report in 2003 but that’s not correct. My accountant knows it’s a mistake and said I shouldn’t worry but I know how my luck goes. Prison time in Utah doesn‘t interest me.

I’m not working nearly as much as I did last year and am keeping better records so I will hopefully be able to knock out my taxes earlier than ever next year. I plan on getting it out of the way before my birthday in March. I don’t need to have any more tax hassles and if it should happen that I do get a windfall anywhere down the line I don’t want to be in a spot so many other entertainers get themselves into and not be smart about it. I will be ready.

Now it’s a matter of finding a way to get that windfall. Tonight’s gig wasn’t the answer. I did a show in a dance club in South Elgin, IL. I took the gig because I cancelled my full week in Lansing, MI this week so I could host the Tom Green Elvis memorial show up at Serb Hall in Milwaukee tomorrow night. The booker had this one nighter available and he offered it to me so I could at least make something for the week so I took it. Big mistake.

It’s a night club and not set up for comedy. There is no stage and the lights that pointed at the stage area were disco lights and not very bright at that and it was a complete mess. I could tell this wasn’t going to be fun but I showed up and the smart thing to do was to get paid and leave. I watched the opening act Brian Hicks go up and struggle for 30 minutes. I like Brian and he’s very funny but nobody was listening and he was talking to the furniture for a half hour. To his credit he did his time and brought me up to do 50 fabulous minutes.

This is the time when comedy is VERY difficult. They were chatty and not listening so it was stupid for me to be there but if I walked I wouldn’t get paid so I just stood there for a full fifty minutes and recited and rehearsed my act. Was it fun? NO WAY. Did I pull it off? Yes, I sure did. Now I know what a stripper feels like and I would have rather showed my giblets than have to stand up there with nobody listening but I tuned them out and finished my time and got my money and drove home. That radio job now seems light years away.