Backstage B.S. Brewing

Wednesday August 12th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

I won’t lie, I’m feeling a little cranky right now. No, it‘s more than that. I‘m down right pissed. About several things. Anger in itself isn’t bad but how I choose to react to it is the $64,000 question. In the past I’ve made some extremely stupid choices I wouldn’t choose to make again if I had a second shot, but I didn‘t. Now I’ve got some scars and baggage.

My knee jerk reactions of the past cost me a lot in the long run. Even though I still feel I was in the right all these years later, that doesn’t matter. PERCEPTION was that I was the problem so rather than hunt down the real truth I was unfairly branded as being ‘difficult’. It’s never been about who’s really right or wrong. It’s always about perception. It truly is.

Am I difficult to work with? YES. But only if the person I’m working with is a halfwit. I usually know what I want to the smallest detail and if someone has a clue they get it and we have no problems. When I come across an imbecile who just gets in the way is when a problem arises. I’m a polarizer and always have been. I’m either loved or totally loathed.

I try very hard to please people. I really do. I admit my mistakes freely and never claim I know everything. I’m a dented can struggling to make it through life from circumstances I wouldn’t wish on even the halfwits I’ve clashed with in my life. I don’t wish bad on them at all. I just want them to get the hell out of my way and let me complete my inner vision.

One of the things I’m pretty honked off about is this week of shows I’ve got coming up at Giggles Comedy Pub in Brookfield, WI. I’ve worked there several times over the years and I truly like the owners there. The staff is very nice and it’s a low pressure work week.

I can see friends and hang out and it’s usually a lot of fun. Now that I’m getting older it doesn’t mean as much to me anymore to do things for fun. I need to get PAID. I’ve paid a lifetime of dues to get to this level and it’s coming to a point where it has to be worth it.

The booking agency who has been in charge of Giggles is a guy I’ve worked with many years. I’ve talked about him before and I actually like the guy personally. I’ve had my ups and downs with him business wise over the years but I’ve really tried hard to patch it up.

I learned today he expects me to send in 25% of my pay this week as commission. I’ve never had to send any commissions before and I’ve worked for the agency twenty years. I thought the money was low to begin with and now I learn I have to eat an additional 25%.

My first reaction was not very positive to say the least. To make it worse, he didn’t even book me in there this particular time. My web person Shelley wanted me because she is in charge of her high school class reunion and they’re having the party at Giggles on Friday.

I’m very flattered Shelley asked for me specifically and the owners agreed to it. I did get a confirmation notice from the booker but I was already set with the club itself. Now I get word I’m going to have to send in a commission for the week and I get left with peanuts.

In the past there were a couple of one night gigs before Giggles and they helped make it a worthwhile week of work. Now those are gone for whatever reason and there’s only the three nights left. Sorry, that’s not my fault. My take home pay isn’t worth taking home.

I have to commit a weekend and I want to be paid for that. I don’t care how close it is or how much fun it is or anything else. I’ve worked hard to get my ability and I was just on a network TV show three weeks ago, yet I’m not getting one penny more than anyone else.

Why the hell did I even bother to get on TV? One would think bookers would watch the late night shows and fish for fresh blood to come through their clubs. Even the guy who is booking Giggles in my opinion should have called and opened his calendar and asked me which weeks I had open so he could promote it. He could still book me for a great price.

We could all make money if we’d work out a door deal of some sort and try to make it a special event. “Recently seen on CBS TV” could get some play in a medium sized city for the clubs there and I’d go in and kick major ass and be a super nice guy to the staff too. In a perfect world that’s exactly what should happen but instead I get tossed in the big pile.

I talked with a couple of other bookers recently trying to get some work that would be a smoother routing process and got back an icy cold “Filled that already.” Well, UNFILL it, you pud. How many times did I get bumped when I was coming up? Pay a brother back.

I’m not looking to fire anyone but it’s amazing how flat out clueless most of these guys really are. How about SWITCH a week? It’s happened to me but when I need to do it it’s a major hassle. Sorry, I have earned my right to pull rank. Do they want to book a strong act for a low price or do they want to lose out and keep it as it is? I don’t think they care.

I know I’m sniveling but a lifetime of this would make even Mother Theresa snap. It’s the same stupidity over and over again and I’m tired of it. This is why entertainers flip out and cop attitudes when they make it. I don’t wonder why anymore, but I really don’t want to have to be like this. With just a little bit of effort there can be a workable solution here.

All I want is to fill my calendar with decent work. By ‘decent’, I mean quality gigs in an environment where comedy is appreciated. No more toilets for low pay. I’m good at what I do but many of the bookers I’ve been working for still treat me like lint from the dryer.

Either I’ll have to book gigs myself, or find other places to work. Or both. I really don’t want to book my own shows because that’s a whole different job. I want to show up for a gig and do it. But I can’t if I don’t earn a living wage or get gouged 25% in commissions. I think I could get better rates from the Mafia, and at least I’d get to play in nicer joints.

I hope this doesn’t get ugly, but I sense that possibility brewing. I want to earn what I’m worth or I won’t work a place anymore. I can’t. This could be my last time at Giggles, but I still have a solid relationship with the Northern Lights Theatre at Potawatomi Casino. If that has to be my Milwaukee venue, so be it. It will be a test to see how this all plays out.