Too Pooped To Pass Judgment

Wednesday August 26th, 2009 - Los Angeles, CA

I guess I must not have as much good karma stored up as I originally thought. Every bit of this trip so far as been as absolutely difficult as is humanly possible and I can’t seem to catch a break anywhere. It’s frustrating on one hand but on the other I think I asked for it.

Coming out here on short notice on a wing and a prayer might not have been the correct thing to do. Not only did I get raped for a last minute plane ticket, there was also an added $71 for the rental car, which was actually a mini van as that’s all they had left. Of course.

It’s hard to feel sexy and enjoy L.A. in a mini van. Hot women in Mercedes Benzes had that look of stepping barefoot in fresh pet poop in their eye as they looked over at the red light hoping to see Steven Spielberg winking back from whatever it is he drives. I have to believe it’s not a rented mini van. I could feel their disappointment through locked doors.

I was disappointed too. I wanted to be cruising around in a convertible enjoying the vibe of L.A. that I love so much. Instead I found myself scrounging for any hotel room I could rustle up with no reservation at 3:30am L.A. time which was really 5:30am Chicago time. I was overly tired and frustrated and really having second thoughts about making this trip.

The first thing I wanted to do was find the actual place where the TV show was taped so I wouldn’t get lost. This was the reason I came and I wanted to know exactly where it was so I wouldn’t blow it in the morning, which it now was. I found it and then started to look for the nearest motel so I could at least get a shower and a couple hours of quality sleep.

The only place I could find was a rat hole for $108. Everything else was full and it left a bad taste in my mouth to have to pay so much for such a cruddy room but that was a great example of supply and demand. He had a room and I needed one badly. We both knew it.

I gave him my credit card and it was declined. I was in shock. He ran it through again to make sure and again it was declined. I gave him my debit card hoping that still had a few bucks left on it and thankfully it did. I grabbed my luggage and trudged to my new hovel.

The first thing I did was call the credit card 800 number to see what my balance was. It’s as high as I’ve ever had it and I tried to figure out what happened. Then it hit me. I bought my latest car with it and then it needed huge repairs. I also had a balance from before with all my dental work still on it. I guess I didn’t think it was that high but it really added up.

Now I was really depressed. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling not able to go to sleep but knowing I really needed some. I knew I was in weak financial shape but not this bad. I am going to really have to readjust my thinking but there’s no time for that until I get home.

I eventually nodded off but it sure wasn’t a restful sleep. 7am rolled around so fast that I didn’t even feel like I got any sleep at all. I scrubbed up and got dressed so I wouldn’t get to the studio late since I put so much effort into getting here. My mind didn’t feel sharp.

I did manage to make it to the taping location exactly on time. There were lots of people in line to be audience members and I noticed they were a lot younger than I usually like as my audiences but they were dressed very nicely and looked friendly. I was greeted and led around the back of the building by a gorgeous production assistant and told where to wait.

There is always a lot of hustle and bustle going on with TV and movie shoots and I tried to stay out of everyone’s way. I had to fill out a heaping pile of paperwork so I could get a paycheck but I may have some union issues as I just did another show earlier in the year.

I was a member of AFTRA when I worked at the Loop but they really never did me any favors, especially after I lost my job. I stopped paying my dues and got some letters which I eventually stopped opening and just tossed into the trash. I hope they don’t withhold any money because if they do I’m really going to be screwed. I’ll find that out soon enough.

The main thing I was here to do was get another TV credit and do a good set. This show was not Comics Unleashed as I’d expected. It’s a new show called Comics.TV and Byron Allen is the executive producer but not the host. He was there and very friendly as he met us backstage before the taping. I thanked him for letting me be on the show and meant it.

The audience was about 300 and Byron was the warmup. He did a great job telling them what to do and how to react and then he brought out the female host who I’d never met. It was very similar to other TV shows where several comedians perform in six minute sets.

I happened to be on the first show ever recorded and I knew a few of the others and they were all really nice people and funny too. Greg Hahn opened the show and he’s very high energy and funny. That was a great choice to open. I also knew Dwayne Perkins and Alex Reymundo from the road and both are also quality acts and good people. Everybody was.

The staff was exceptionally friendly just as they were on The Late Late Show. I seem to forget that the staff wants us to do well because the better we do the longer the show lasts and the more paychecks they can collect. That’s not always how it feels working in clubs.

I drew number five of six in performing order and I was really tired by the time I was to go on. It’s not an excuse, but it is a fact. I over thought my set and Eric the producer said I should do my Late Late Show set and add on to it to make it six minutes. I tried to please him but I also wanted it to be a great set because I wanted to show him I can do the job.

When I got out there it threw me a little because they didn’t let us see the set before the taping like they did on The Late Late Show. I tried to get into a groove but I felt a little bit off right from the start. Then I took it in a totally different direction and felt like I got lost.

The more off track I got the more I tried to scramble to recover and I never did feel like I got them like I know I can. I did get an applause break but it wasn’t a killer and I did my time and got off when I saw the wrap up sign. I was pretty disappointed but the backstage makeup lady said I was funny. I didn’t know what to think. I was too tired to think at all.