Grilling A Brettwurst

Tuesday August 18th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

Brett Favre has decided to make the world a better place and play QB for the Minnesota Vikings after all. He will grace us with his presence so we can all bask in the gloriousness of the perpetually pampered Prince of Pigskin one more time, this time in a purple jersey.

My aching arse. Sarcasm doesn’t come across in print as well as is does in person but it sure didn’t surprise me when I heard about old B.F.’s latest round of B.S. this morning. It actually made me laugh because I predicted it a few weeks ago at his latest ‘retirement‘.

I have a bet of a steak dinner going with one of the bartenders at Zanies in Chicago that says the Green Bay Packers will have a better record than the Minnesota Vikings this year assuming that Favre should indeed sign with the hated purple posse. She blindly loves the unshaven lout and defends him to the death, even now that he has officially turned on her.

She and I have been going back and forth with emails and she thought the bet was over. Ha! Not a chance. I told her that he would come slithering out of his hole and ooze out of Mississippi and up to Minnesota just in time for the season to start so he gets to miss out on the rigors of training camp. She swore that I was wrong but now she’s just swearing.

Her name is Jackie and she’s a sweetheart of a person and very intelligent and we have always gotten along very well. She always said she was a Packer fan and we bonded with that, especially both living in Illinois, but it turned out she was mainly a Brett Favre fan.

When this whole circus started with him and the Packers, Jackie and I got into some fun but heated ‘discussions’ at Zanies and people would back away and let us go at it because they could see how passionate each one of us was about it. Neither one of us backed away from our points of view, and still won’t. Jackie blindly worships that selfish ass. I don’t.

My web person Shelley is just the opposite. She was in the blind worship camp for most of this scenario but said that if he ever signed with the Vikings, he would be ‘dead to her’. She’s the one who informed me about it this morning and in fact woke me up to do so.

What really infuriates me about all of this is that Jackie and Shelley are very nice ladies and there are millions more like them who would have had sex with Brett Favre any time, anyplace and anywhere, including right in front of their husbands and children. He had an entire state’s blind worship and could have had his choice of whatever a man could want.

He could have had free drinks, free meals, free room and board, as much sex as anyone could physically handle and could have sped all he wanted and never gotten a ticket in the state of Wisconsin. He had it all before age 40 and could have been King of Cheeseland.

Instead, he had to be a greedy selfish hillbilly and turn his back on those who pampered him and blindly turned their backs on all his faults and that’s just not right in my opinion. Am I jealous? Damn right I am. Every guy wants what Brett Favre has. And he blew it.